BALANCEFOCUS

MEET UP!

My aim is to provide a positive place for good meetings to occur that becomes a little like a Greek forum for meaningful discussions and art, for relaxation and rejuvenation but in a interior style combining east with west.  The question is how to budget this build, keeping it small enough to be quality, but big enough to be profitable in ways that support the art. One way that I am trying out this, is by checking out the market for various activities such as coaching groups and book circles in Stockholm. This week I organized two more.
IMG_3320I have tried using newsletters, PR and flyers when I lived in Malmö and the past two years in Stockholm, I mostly use the digital platform called MeetUp (available for most cities) to market and hold these small events, at local coffee-shops and small studios for now. A rule of thumb is that we receive a 1% paying customers turn-out of our target group, meaning number of sold products or services, with attendees, when our marketing efforts work well (minus unforeseen world-events). Making it count is everything!

BALANCEFOCUS

THE WALL

The reasons why I can’t remain in Sweden much longer are many, so many it already became part of destroying my new life that I was starting over with in the United States in 2010-12. Then it led to deportation instead of volunteer departure which I first was ruled, giving me a 10 year ban from re-entering unless waived. But instead of either enabling me new opportunities in Stockholm, start my business or supported to return, I have been obstructed from even having my own apartment, less becoming employed with more than 300 job applications sent out, even though I have at least ten years of work experience of both being self-owned and employed with higher education.

klipp

The walls we build should be keeping intruders from trespassing with unlawful entering, which I never did and never do. Instead I am being even more intruded upon in the already isolated culture in Sweden. The wall against Mexico, however, is something I do endorse.

While I was in immigration proceedings with my valid visa, I was held at FDC Honolulu for 338 days which I have written a book about. You can find that and my first one on Amazon.com. If you have any suggestions or questions, please comment!

 

BALANCEFOCUS

SOUL UNITY

petite_roseYour presence complete me. I thought it was just for the books. Imagining how it would be to have you sit next to me on the train. You do in a sense. Personal protection at its best.

You found me all the way from Hawaii, imagine that!

My heart grows still, my grief lessens, fills with light, anger removed. Almost like having you inside me.

And then a little girl coming like an angel, but neither yours, nor mine, until now.

Family in spirit. Secret marriage.

BALANCEFOCUS

GREENWASHING

IMG_3271

I went for a walk today down by the water to enjoy the greens and found a perfect spot. I always try to walk offside the common path to feel the untouched ground beneath my feet and climb around the rocks a little to immerse myself into mother nature, hopefully without taking too many risks. To my assistance I have the good memory of riding horseback in the woods growing up, climbing hills and plowing through snow and gravel with fierce determination. One with the horse, letting me become one with nature back then. But first, breathing by the water. And enjoying summer warmth and fresh slices of watermelon. I love the light as it starts to set, just as much as I love to make things grow.

IMG_3269

The whispering people, trees are called in a Native American tradition. Bye for now!

BODYCARE

ORGANIC HAIR AND BODYCARE

I became a half-vegetarian in the end of the 90’s in an effort to improve my health, especially to calm down my sensitive stomach. At the same time, I also suffered numerous break-outs and had a sensitive skin. I must have tried almost all brands, both cheap and very expensive, just as I ate antibiotics for three months. But after spending some time in Hawaii in 2004 and 2005, I met an organic hairdresser who had just opened up his new salon in Malmö, who also had been to Hawaii. Joshua introduced me to the brands Santé and John Masters Organics which I both tried and instantly fell for, finally feeling a difference! I have alternated a couple of times with Eco-cosmetics and Uertekram, but for the most time, simply returned to use JM that I use to the last drop. These products contain nothing but biological ingredients, some organic, and their facial series are based on Aloe Vera instead of water. I used to dream of never having to wear make-up every day. Now I can!

IMG_3266.JPG

There is a saying that what you can’t eat, you shouldn’t put on your body or in your hair and I keep that in mind. This also is important for deodorants which used to be a hot topic among holistic medicine advocates, allegedly contributing to causing breast-cancer. Naturally, this too was something I took to heart. In fall 2008, I also realized that I had a problem with wheat and barley so I had become glutenintolerant, perhaps increased due to stress. After removing that from my choice of foods together with cooking rather than frying, increasing my dance practice and taking more iron and pure Aloe Vera gel internally, after about three months I finally felt so much better, it was as if I became a new person! Something I treasure and would like to keep.

Do you dare to make the change? You never know, it might even be from heaven scent.

BALANCEFOCUS

BUSINESS AS USUAL

Summer is an awesome time to catch up on projects that haven’t been finished and make new plans for fall. I have always enjoyed living by a school year in my planning, to be able to grasp a reasonable time ahead to reach goals, yet with flexibility. It is this the latter that is the hardest to coach and be coached about. Some call it worry, others call it reality-check, sometimes it is simply unforeseen circumstances, other times it is others’ free will. Either way, we must look both ways before we start off. And let it grow before attempting to harvest, with positive attention, cultivation and rest.

IMG_3244

A good way is to have a goal in mind and then set reasonable milestones per month accordingly and thereupon narrow down the actual list of to-do.  Now, soon time for a vacation!

IMG_3249.JPG

A hui hou,

 

BALANCEFOCUS

MEDICINE

One of the nicest things about having lived abroad is the ability to compare, which allow us to grow in understanding and see more variations. While I was out walking yesterday, a little more on the countryside than inside downtown Stockholm, I recognized some plants and rocks that used to fascinate me growing up.

20170709_182519.jpg

My mother shared that this particular plantain is used to cover and clean wounds. And this pretty piece of pink granite is commonly used for countertops and tombstones and is a continuous geological development from lava, which comes from my father’s knowledge. In Hawaii, sometimes ministers use a ti-leaf to wrap around a new piece of lava as a blessing for a newly wedded couple, similar to Mazeltov, it feels. Through this we can recognize that we all come from the same origin.

20170709_183735 (2).jpg

And from Finland comes the tradition to use bundles of birch to cleanse ourselves in a sauna or used as a broom, similar to in a native American sweat-lodge. But right now, I’m enjoying the summer warmth outside!

 

BALANCEFOCUS

CREATING A SHOW

Had an exquisite couple of hours where I wrote down my goals for the rest of the year, to make myself new to do-lists which always alleviates my stress and renews my sense of positive focus and inspiration, including how to approach my next book project.

feather_cloud

I pulled out my new silk to see how to go about sawing it into a tunic. I had realized that the hole for our heads had been cut out in the wrong way before, wherefore it didn’t feel right with my other. As I pondered about how to fold the seams, a spirit moved the fabric into perfect position! It must have been my grandmother, who loved to saw. That also made me realize the necessity to pin it first of course. I am not that good at this, can you tell? I will do my best!

IMG_3240

Then I found some Bach concerts for piano (no2) to listen to and just let myself try a variety of motions, letting them emerge naturally, energized by the music, first with some Hula hands getting intuitive with my heart and soft hips, then developed into Duncan style. Would love to do a whole choreography sometime.

Followed by a walk in the sunshine, enjoying recognizing some plants and their use from growing up.

BALANCEFOCUS

TITLED

The clouds start to parade outside my window and a cold wind stir the trees. I lit a candle and sat down to edit one of my books with some final touches.

IMG_3217

Laying it to rest and then picking it up again is essential both to test its validity and to fine tune each word, each sentence, each paragraph and page, layout and to be filled with the exact meaning I have chosen for it, once the story has been told. I want my text to be like music that way, hold its own rhythm, accentuated at certain places, vibrate in a certain tone at others, be inspiring and make my point by offering these real life experiences that yet will always be too elusive to portray with words. Told my way, in my style. Sometimes I manage to, the spirit of the essence starts to flow through me onto the keyboard and words come out. First we must surrender. Put aside all our own procrastination, all our own expectations and pressures, all our ambitions in a sense of letting go of how it will be perceived, not because we don’t want a great audience to find us or for our book to be found, but to free ourselves from our self- and societal imposed limits to what we think we must write. Then, we just do it.

collage.jpg

To my help I am surrounded by spirits from near and far. And Strindberg.

I put up a note inside the door to an apartment building on Strindbergsgatan 44 in 2013, looking for rent. In my former apartment last year, the man who rented it out to me had two paintings with Strindberg’s portrait on. My current has this bust.

BALANCEFOCUS

BLESSINGS

Sometimes we do little things and forget about it, only to months later find it was a blessing in disguise. This past spring I have had to move a lot and almost felt I would have to start living on the street almost due to all delays, setbacks, sabotages and stalking, especially financially. To stay safe I have both prayed myself, asked people around me and churches for help and to be shown where to go. I have received giftcards and money that way as well as abundant loans at the pawnshop with bonus making a real difference.

Earlier this year in the winter I passed by the City Backpacker’s hostel and saved their business card. However I first used it to leave a greeting on the backside for the landlord I was subletting an apartment from over Christmas where I also had stayed earlier last year. It seemed like it was furnished from my mother’s but that just mostly made me smile about the magic of spirits. He left the business card on the table when it was time to move out and I put it back in the pocket of my green planner, where there also was small stickers with letters on them from Moleskin. Then I forgot about it.

However in mid-April, I had to change hostel and went there. It certainly felt like a very welcome respite and blessing, away from the cursing and meeting lots of nice people in a nice environment and when I moved out, I noticed an old book that I had seen at my former landlord’s. I smiled at it and didn’t say anything but hoping it was a good thing. Most of the rooms had big letters in them, each one of their own. And a Canadian friend enabled me to pay just in the nick of time to be able to keep the roof over my head and food, shared alongside quotes from the Bible that had me in awe because it changed me the moment I read it, so that I would regain my own faith and composure.

IMG_3243.JPG

Later in May as I had to move again, I discovered what I had kept in the pocket of my agenda. At the end of the month, I also saw that the sticker with “Makahala” had found its way into my Bible that I sometimes carry with me in my purse. It made me feel very moved since I was blessed to stay with a new friend from Siberia and her family, that I had gotten to know through a Buddhist center close by where we have chanted. (It deserves its own blogpost.) Many little things were turned around by colors and objects to make things even in quiet. Not to mention getting to taste real home-made Borsjtj!

This is what I like to refer to as signs and blessings from the angels. And nothing but Aloha that I receive to be able to endure this transition elsewhere, now when enough evidence has been gathered against the Swedish government to my report thereof to the UN for systematic breaches and my books soon have been updated with edits.

THANK YOU! I share not this to boast, but to instill hope so that you too may believe. Believe in receiving and believe in giving! We make a difference to each other.

BALANCEFOCUS

DANCING WITH SPIRIT

It is said that dance is not of the Bible, but it is! It is for us to rejoice with cymbals and cheer such as in: “I will turn their mourning into joy, and will comfort them, and make them rejoice from their sorrow” – Jeremiah 31:13. It is even said that Isadora Duncan was one of the apostles in a former lifetime, praising God’s creation.

angelcard

What I know is, when we dance to music without song, we allow our bodies to be embodying the Holy spirit with which the music was composed and through this, we can express our own divinity more freely. This also opens up for a variety of dynamics and feelings in our motions according to personality and theme.

IsadoraDuncanDancecompanyNYC

Photos showing an Angelcard from Kimberely Marooney and Isadora Duncan dancers at Old Westbury gardens from Lori Belilove and the Isadora Duncan Dance Company in New York City,

BALANCEFOCUS

DEVELOPMENTS

peach_rose

I have had the pleasure to feel the presence of another angel a couple of times this past two months when I am rested. It’s like a little girl that protects my energy, cheers me up to make me smile, asks me to hurry or to wait a little by invisibly sitting on my head (except in church where she was pulled up). She teaches me in spirit to think about what I need to change to be a good mother. All what we do is often out of habit, that so many take for granted or not even consider how it must change, because it happens incrementally and naturally giving birth. But what if we suddenly have to assume the role of motherhood to someone else’s children? Would I walk the same pace or buy the same things at the grocery store? It must be practiced or at least be made aware of, which is what I am trying to do when I am not being stalked. (And I so love noticing how kids often come up to me or curiously look my way when I am in the store or at the subway, as if to find someone to dance with.)

When I grew up, I did consider adoption in some form to be my priority to ensure that the children already here on Earth would receive what they need first. Not ruling out having my own though, safe away from Sweden.

Many things are taught to us in spirit if we are open to it. It can be little reminders of how our parents or grandparents used to do things, teachers or ministers and healers, and of course God and Jesus through the Holy Spirit. This is what we call inspiration. We then apply it to our current situation or wish with our own ideas and preferences, and hopefully merge the old with the new to create a better understanding and enable evolution to take its course step by step.

We do this by taking a breather and re-evaluate our direction as well as our communication. When a new generation is formed, what happens to our own assumptions of how we think we are perceived? What if children starts reading my blog? Have I ever considered that? No, not really, since they are not my target group. Unless I change that and make new plans. So, which plan is the right one to follow?

What if the only thing you need to know about following God’s plan is this: just be a good person. We are here to learn to love oneanother and create Paradise together. Everything else is up to us, to choose to be where, when and how with our free will. We will be naturally drawn from time to time to be at a specific location at a specific time, in order to be that good person to someone else. So then, we make our own plans. At best we feel supported to follow through on what we set out to do, but often there will be obstructions and changes. All these changes happen due to recent developments.

A development always imply a change. Developments can be positive or negative to you. It can be something personal or in your immediate community and organization. Or it can be worldwide or within a nation for example due to climate change, conflicts or new directives from authorities. Therefore each day we must be awake to our surroundings as well as our own needs and wants, synch them together or move to better pastures. And companions.

BALANCEFOCUS

FOOD MARKET

Late last night, I had been sitting by my computer to do some writing and was feeling tired but still wished that I had went out for a nice walk in the warm evening, so I did.

Since I already had a piece of apple that day and some leftover lettuce leaf, I brought that with me and felt intuitively inclined to walk on the right side of the big road behind my house. I dropped my little scrap close to a bush on the ground, hoping a bunny would find it. Just as I had entered the decided path, a young seagull sat on a lamp post directly in front of me, crying loudly alone. I walked passed it. Close by I saw two cans for paid recycling and thought to myself that must be my payment for providing food and picked them up, yet startled with a little bad conscious and feeling frightened to not have brought the lettuce and apple with me for the seagull, so I walked back and got it while it circled over me a little and followed me along the way a block. Then it disappeared.

Later before I went to sleep, I also thought it could just be God wanting me to eat and go to sleep earlier of course, exhausted as I am of all the setbacks that seems to occur right when I start recuperating.

IMG_3168

This made me wonder how much it is our responsibility to share food, to whom, how, where and when, which is the real question for the world.

BALANCEFOCUS

BACKDROP

The setting we are in enforces and provides stability at best for the drama we act on our stage. Often Isadora Duncan used Greek mythologies and its design for her inspiration. Here in Sweden, Greek influences in architecture can be seen a little here and there.

IMG_3183

My historical inspiration in this retrospect, comes more from the Roman-Catholic side, where I have visited Rome with my father and brother and taken Latin in High School. It was also then, my boyfriend like to resemble me with Minerva, the patron goddess of state, education, craft and medicine, whereas my mother was more into Greece and acting as Hera on stage. Within this, we find access to sacred power and reverence.

BALANCEFOCUS

FABRIC FOR A NEW TUNIC

Bought this new beautiful special kind of silk to make a new tunic for Isadora Duncan dance today. So happy to not only find the right color and accent for a wrap, but also to a much lower price than I expected. Love that!

IMG_3186

The tunics we use can be sawn in a couple of different variations with certain details special to Duncan lineage, just like certain colors are chosen according to the era and music for her choreographies. Now I need to find a good seamstress who can help me make one fitted.

BALANCEFOCUS

MY PERSONAL JOURNEY

I have always loved writing a diary and started my first at the age of 7. It had the cover of blue velvet and held things about what was for dinner, what I had received when had gone out shopping and what was done in school. I simply continued throughout my life, adding notes about my feelings and relationships, it became a tool for self-discovery and understanding which has enabled me to improve and share my lessons. Meeting other people often provides us with much inspiration and friendships that becomes the water for our seeds to grow. Here is a link to my first book in English with color photos about my life in Honolulu and Malmö where I grieved the passing of my mother, found my passion and defined my life purpose:

coverpicYou can also read more about me on my personal webpage here.

BALANCEFOCUS

LIVING WITH INTERNATIONALS

On the upside of not having my own apartment for a couple of months was the secret blessing in living in hostels for a while. At for example Bed and Breakfast and City Backpackers in Stockholm, there is a great community kitchen and place to hang out, like in most hostels, which is great both for budget, making your own gluten-free food with less stress and in good company!

It is always exciting to see whose paths we join for a couple of days, where we are from and what we share and have in common. It is the greatest opportunity to share experiences, opinions and visions about how and where we want to live.

IMG_3081

It seems to be a big movement going on in Europe at the moment with not only just refugees, but also silent migrants, people who don’t feel at home in their own country anymore, or simply more at home online and therefor seek to join these new formations of community wherever it may say be happening on a webpage, whether short-term of long-term. We meet based on ambitions and interests. Talking to the two dancers showing up for festivals, a Brooklyn-guy for tap and an Israeli-chick for west-coast swing, was inspiring to see, just like the former Russian-American doctorate student and new friends speaking Portugese, provided me to feel good about exploring new opportunities. This type of travel also enable us to develop and cement our own sense of identity in comparison to cultural behaviors, as well as share sentiments when bad things happen.

IMG_0535.JPG

Thank you Canada! Inspiration as part of provision.

BALANCEFOCUS

KEEPING THE WATERS OF LIFE

We all need it and yet it is so easy to forget when you don’t live in a warm climate where thirst is more obvious. But perhaps in Sweden, people are thirsty in another way, although most doesn’t know it. And just like with being on the everlasting search for the perfect wallet and perfect purse, which I have yet to find, or perhaps design myself, my water bottle must fit in it!

collage_bottles.jpg

A way of living eco-friendly is by reusing and recycling. It is also to be aware of which quality a fabric has or which material a product is made of to last long when desired and to not have too much negative impact on our environment. A couple of years ago, I started reusing these made of glass. And this year I saw it had become fashion with newly made!

BALANCEFOCUS

THE ROSEPETALS

I felt really moved by this particular dance with Isadora Duncan choreography, called “The Rosepetals” the first time I tried it in 2014 at a dance class for Kathleen Quinlan. I hadn’t even heard about it, less danced it when I for example did the photo shoot on Oahu for my book “The Call for Divine Mothering” in 2010, but as so often in life, one thing leads to the other, developing our seeking and finding into more. This is why it can feel like magic! A rose to me simply symbolizes love, which is why I had a small one tattooed on my upper arm in 1993, to always remind myself to believe in love.


Here is me practicing this dance in Stockholm, although with petals from tulips this time. To me dancing “The Rosepetals“, besides the original interpretation and purpose, enable us to pick up the torch and carry on with Isadora Duncan’s mission with our next.