Protecting our borders

United States is removing troops from Germany!

From the beginning they were put there to protect Germany from Hitler, and the East Europe, and to enable the United States to advance in any military conflict closer directly from Europe. But what many Germans have felt, that I’ve talked to, is that Americans have been invading their space, and they did bomb Germany during WWII.

I’m happy that I contributed with comments about it to US former ambassador in Germany.

There might be a need to have a joint Nato governed force, but certainly not just another country’s military inside your own.

Hopefully United States also becomes stronger, and with more accessible capacity to use better.

Dare to comment! Dare to look at different perspectives! Listen. Learn. Here is the news.

Peace out 😃

Photo from Portugal. Read more by me here.

Get going with coaching!

To develop a more defined professional aptitude, ie get a good job that you like doing and/or will lead you to a better job, here are my assessment questions and examples, that I use in my career coaching to help you make an inventory of your credentials:

1. Find the common theme of your resume, or interests and major.

2. List your skills, traits and virtues according to:

* What do you know?

(Areas of expertise)?

* What are you good at doing and prefer?

(Oral or written presentations, take notes, keep things organized, make phone calls, answer calls, sell, sort, count, use your hands, follow up, plan, summarize, do research, write, programs, translate, clean, care for, listen to others, ask questions, look up things, analyze, create ideas, take initiative etc)

* How do you like to work? (Inside, outside, in your own office with closed door, in the same room together with others, regular day shifts or irregular, with travel, domestic and local, international or global, products or services, making, repairing or keeping, small groups or large, in person or online, leading or following)

* What is your personality like? (MBTI, intro/extroverted, style, dress code)

* What are your values and what do you advocate or would like to take a stand for?

* What do you want to, or need to, avoid due to your health or otherwise have a concern with?

* Do you have any special needs or requests for accomodation due to disability?

3. What would you like to learn and develop?

Contact me for a coaching session to get going!

Healing our traumatised self

I started noticing an unfamiliar feeling in late 2015, but nothing in 2016 or 2017, but again while I was in Frankfurt, Germany in 2018, and here in Portugal 2019 and 2020. It’s like a sudden onset of krankiness and whining that I don’t recognize in myself at all. Like a small child not wanting to, stalling what I’m about to, including simple and good things like taking a shower to get ready, or start the replay of a dance practice. Why would I not want that?

Well, I might have to rest and sleep more first, or eat, but then again, I do try. However, not in my own apartment that I haven’t had since 2017. How could then my inner child ever feel safe? Unless it is rather that I had to leave Sweden again, to recognize it.

My inner child therefore might seek shelter with a man that I find attractive, to not have to be abducted by an offender, in spirit or in person, who wants to extinguish my light.

So what do I do now then?

 

Pure poetry

It’s when we dare to express ourselves from our own inner deepest feeling, we become true. Where did my poetry go? Why can I not express myself freely, purely, personally from the heart any longer?

Maybe only another professional writer would be able to understand the hesitancy when others interfer, misinterpret, copy, mock and wish it would be about them. So, we write what is appropriate, airy and polite. Keeping the truth to ourselves instead of praising the splendor we see around us. Is that what God gifted me with? To not share my gift?

I let the words dance themselves onto the page. The feeling travels through my body, until I let it become in my heart. A yearning to be enveloped. To be held the right way.

I am being touched in spirit, my sensuality coming alive with his gentle strokes alongside my arm, grabbing my waist. Just the way I like it. Connected for a fleeting moment. Others intrude. But we find each other again.

I hope I can live my poetry more.

Choosing perspective

Just like authors can tell a story from different characters’ point of view, we too can choose perspective when we engage in discussions about a certain topic.

Often a certain opinion becomes lifted as the “right” one because of the many likes it gets, or because the one saying it is famous, ie has many followers. Do you dare go against it? What do you really think?

To make it even more creative, you can choose the perspective, the approach, to a discussion on purpose. This opens up for less prejudice and less bullying, and at best can open up for more solutions. It’s also how we can encourage reconciliation and peace in agreement.

Next time you read an article about a hot topic, try seeing both sides.

If you see that someone could be threatened, you can choose to take the lead on that lurking threat by taking over their opinion to a certain degree, and thereby own the threat that therefore won’t be carried out. Taking the lead including with someone else’s criticism, enables us to take power over it.

Now, add your own real opinion!

What’s a privilege and how do you get one?

In the recent debate “black lives matter”, black people are often referred to as an underprivileged group of people. Does this imply that I’m more privileged than them, since I’m not black?
 
At first glance, I’m sure you’d say yes, but I say no. Privilege has to do with the conditions we are brought up with, and live under, both physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual. But what the real word means, is an extra bonus that we can be allowed to use, that we simply has paid for.
 
There’s a difference between rights and privileges I was told, when I was detained in immigration proceedings in the United States 2011-12, by some of the prison staff. Have I not a right to claim what I have paid for? Does the visa-sponsor have the right to demand more money? In my case, before issuing a Professional certificate for the classes I had paid for, attended and passed with A-grades, since I couldn’t continue for a full Master’s degree due to weird delays of transferring credits from my Swedish university. It took until 2013 to receive my certificate diploma by mail.
 
To me, being given a privilege is based on the impression I make, my honesty and humility, combined with my credentials and cases.
 
I have sometimes felt discriminated against, for example because of my age and gender, and by people assuming that I live a privileged life, as if my needs would cease because of my looks, education, work experience, sober wellness or noble heritage. Why is that? Because many forget the importance of treating others as humans, rather than by prejudice.
 
Which prejudice is there about white people?

Defining the new normal

Across the social media sea, talking about the current changes we are going through collectively due to the spreading of the Covid-19 virus, as becoming “the new normal” seems to be spreading as much. Is that how we want it?

When we are forced to cope with unforeseen stress during a longer period of time, we still have to remember that it’s temporary coping, or we will all fall prey to victimhood. The right way to think about it, is rather “right now”. Right now we have to wear masks and keep a distance. If these are scary times for you, please remember what you don’t need to change too.

And of course, this can also be an opportune time to do a change that you have procrastinated about doing. It’s all about what we are letting become a habit and how we approach what we are doing.

What is the emotion you are feeling when you are doing dishes? Happiness? Anger? Doing something mundane also provides you with a choice to practice mindful presence, ie become aware of what you are doing and either try to remain neutral with an absolute focus on the doing, or change your emotion with thoughts and perhaps music. How does loving doing dishes feel?

When it comes to creating new habits and routines, remember that it’s said to allow for at least 21 days of practice before it can become a habit.

I live my life both with coping with other things, besides Covid-19 restrictions, and there in between trying to improve my habits, but I think 28 days is more reasonable to have as a measure, at least for us women with our cycles.

So, what is your preferred normal? That is the real question you need to ask yourself and discuss! How can you start creating that instead?

If you’d like to bounce your thoughts off me as your sparring partner, I’d be happy to coach you!

The development of dancing

I’ve been thinking of Luigi recently. Why is that? He developed a technique for jazzdancers that I practiced in my 20’s, in Lund, Sweden.

Today, when I practiced Isadora Duncan dance technique, it struck me, it must be where Luigi got it. How we do leg-swings, smearing the floor for foreover recovers, and more. Maybe it’s even her spirit that lived on with him after his traffic accident, the same way she died? Is it how we continue a message after our death?

The way I have to use my upper body with Isadora Duncan dance technique not only supports a better posture, but enables me to feel the difference in how I can express myself gentler, softer, lighter and with more femininity. Expanding and expressing, rather than shrinking and suppressing, dancing enables the becoming of me. Moving with earth.

We maintain what we learn by keeping it the same, upholding a standard. It’s an exhilirating experience, based on a connection through generations, just like Hawaiian Hula and WestAfrican dance also is taught.

Moving along.

Perfecting the pose

While yoga is an older practice than dance, yoga practitioners can still learn from dancers, just like we make good use of yoga, for example how to perfect a pose. Here are some pointers:

Where do you have the weight? On one side more on the other? On the front of you foot or on your heal?

Where are you looking?

How are your feet aligned?

Are the palms of your hands facing up or down, or in a mudra?

The more flexible we become, the more conscious effort we must make to engage our muscles. Even if we can rest comfortably in the “Swan”, we can also push and pull ourselves into more strength.

This awareness then becomes both a practice of mindful presence, and creating more centeredness together with right breath.

Every dance and yoga practice holds the opportunity to improve. It’s how we grow!

The bad potato

We can’t always tell by the skin of the potato if it’s going to be good or bad to eat. Even if it’s firm and look like the others when we buy it, it can still be bad in part on the inside. We just have to boil it and see.

It was also a case of a bad potato when I was about 14 years old, that became the lesson to what to be allowed to say no to, regardless of who gave it.

I used to have problem eating and my parents would stress and scream at me to finish the plate, even if I felt ill. They thought I might be anorectic but I never once wanted to be so skinny, rather the opposite since I have a small chest, that I felt (and heard) were too small. When I look at old photos, I can see how happy and healthy, and even a little chubby, I looked until I turned six years old.

What happened?

The stress by our dinner table (and the school cafeteria) became unbearable, but I survived on chocolate and cookies inbetween.

During spring in 8th grade, I lived on my school counselor’s big dairy farm for a couple of months instead, while my parents were getting a divorce. It was always peaceful and nice to eat with her family, even with simpler dishes, and she taught me how to say a children’s evening prayer and to drink hot water with much sugar in, that she called “Silvertea” when I was feeling ill.

One day when I was sitting at the table trying to eat all, Gunnel looked at my food and noticed how one of the potatoes were bad and told me to not eat that, and that I can always say no to that.

Years later, it struck me that I wanted to say no to many things at home, but never felt safe to.

Anyhow, not having money makes it equally bad and hard to say no, because then what if I won’t have anything to eat? Or someone tries to stop me again from, whether by screaming at me or shortages caused by delays? We still have to be allowed to say no, and respected when we do. And choose what to buy.

It took a couple of bad potatoes during spring here in Portugal, to be reminded of that.

Less labeling, more friendships – How to create more equality:

First of all, not everybody wants an equal society out of fear of loosing their own status, money, job and/or power. And within this lies the greatest challenge which is daring to believe in the access to a good life for everybody. If this is possible in a hierarchical eco-system that we humans also are part of? But please, let’s assume we have enough for everybody’s basic needs and only have to fight for a better life.

There are two ways of creating more equality. One is to integrate and blend more, focusing on what unites us as humans and our inherent equal worthiness. The other way, is to differentiate and separate more, by deliberately grouping people based on the culture of a specific group they feel at home with. Not because we tend to flock out of fear, but as an actual choice that is supported by the ruling government officials.

But either way, becomes a matter of comparisons. What have we learned about that? And what about our needs? We all have them, they are essential for all humans, but not to the same extent, at the same time, or how. They must always be individually assessed and are always depending on the environment we live in (besides what we would like).

So, back to the flock.

The only way to create positive change in society ground up, is through individual choices and personal relationships. The slogan for living more sustainable is applicable also when we refer to races, gender and sexual orientation: Think global, act local! You can’t have a personal relationship with everybody everywhere or relate to, but you can with someone where you already live. How you treat someone might spread, but it’s not about how you have to treat everybody in the whole world, because it’s always a matter of how you are treated yourself too. It’s always right with compassion and respect.

IMG_2824

Strike up a conversation with someone new that looks different than you. Get to know him or her on a personal level, whether as a friend, co-worker, teacher or student. And whether for work or school, sports or going shopping:

Unless we are going on a date, I don’t need to know who you have sex with. But you can share who you love…

Unless we are going to church together, I don’t need to know if you rather prefer a mosque. But you can share if you like to worship…

Unless your history is stopping you from moving forward with your life, I don’t need to know what you’ve been through. But you can share how you feel…

What you believe in, what you like and don’t like, and how, is where we meet, especially if we both have the same problem that needs to be solved, focusing on how to.

Refer to the new acquaintance on a first name basis. This way each person becomes the name, rather than the label.

And, focus on the common interest.

(For example: I’m currently staying in a hostel apartment with an older white man from Germany and a younger black guy from Portugal. They argued with each other so much the caretaker had to come, but they stopped when I reminded them that we should use first names when referring to one another and focus on logistics. Photo is from a couple of years ago from a dance workshop in Hawaiian Hula that I held in Stockholm.)

Lives matter

Every time you assert the minority category you belong to, you will strengthen that differentiation. So, if you introduce yourself as: “Hi, I’m …. and I am gay.”, it implies that it’s the most important thing to you, that it’s what you want me to remember you for, or even that you want to be greeted and addressed based on the label. It’s the same with black Americans, it seems.

And while I am not opposing that we live in a white male patriarchical society, ie that it is founded by white men that thereby set the standards from which we all evaluate everything, I oppose your problem with it. Just hand it over. Let them deal with it.

I need a man to deal with my problems in Sweden, since the political correctedness and overall cautiousness results in nothing. I have to scream and shout to get anything done, and have had to, for more than a decade. I need a man who can take that fight for me, or simply will not need to, since he will be met differently. My grandfather, who worked as a firechief for 50 years, used to say that women simply have less lung-capacity than men and therefore should avoid becoming firefighters. No need to argue with that.

What are black people especially good at? Why is this looked down on? And does my life matter less because I don’t want to have a black American boyfriend? Or constantly would compare it with African Germans or African Portugese?

I did have a relationship with an African American man. And it was my own fault, because I thought it was cool to have sex with a black guy, after my mother had died and I went to Hawaii in 2004 and 2005.

I was asked out the first time in the United States by a black guy on an airplane between Zürich and Miami in 2002. He called a couple of days later and we went for a drink. Maybe it just became a continue with another person in 2004. And we get what we look for, based on the assumptions we have, prejudice can become racism in action.

But did I want my ex to go after me in 2010? No, I didn’t. And how extremely upsetting it was to hear his black friends wanting us to be together, when I regretted it in the first place because I was never in love with him, but wanted to be nice and give it a chance in 2005 after we met in 2004, just like I was nice in 2010 and went on a date with him again. But, maybe I need to become a bitch to get my no across?

That however, doesn’t exclude my compassion and human support. He told me early on that he didn’t want to hold my hand in public in Honolulu, or even walk close next to me, because then he could be arrested by the cops. For nothing. And I could never understand that since it’s “a black thing”. Other terrible experiences include an “encouraged” vasectomy when he was drafted. And as terrible it was to learn about that, and of his deployment and PTSD, do I want to deal with any of it?

No, I don’t.

I want to love, live and hold hands without having to care about anything more than my own feelings, and the guy’s that I have by my side.

I have grown up with a bestie in Swedish daycare, who is a mulatto. I have danced African dance and I have had a British black Modern dance teacher. I know another American black guy from NYC who is gay and lives in Sweden, and an adopted black Swedish Muslim black guy in Sweden through the advertising industry, and a black guy from Canada in my Bible study group whose financial assistance helped me survive 2019, just like an American Muslim black guy did in 2011 in Hawaii, besides a black woman from Alabama who preached the Bible in Honolulu together with her grits 24/7 in 2010, and another black woman who survived 9/11 in NYC in 2005 sharing her story, friends with my ex. Do I need to keep account?

Can we not just dance and let all our lives matter?

Second photo from the anti-racism campaign in the 1980’s, meaning: “Don’t touch my friend.”

The time of my life

One of the areas, a professional lifecoach works with, is helping the client to improve their time management. It wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t work on my own first. We can handle it in two ways:

1. Focus on the order to do things.

2. Focus on when to do what.

In a normal life, we have collective routines set in place to both enable, and control, that this works with anything from paying our bills on time to when we have lunch.

How can we ensure that this is supporting the kind of life we want, when others stop us by refusing to do their part, even as their duty?

We can only follow the sun and the moon and adjust accordingly to get our needs met. If you ruled out the rules of society and prioritized the natural laws, how would your life change? Most of all, how is what you are doing, either enabling and respecting other people’s needs, or are you hindering them from being on time? What can you shift in your thinking?

For many years as a young adult, I struggled with getting up in the morning. The last decade, however, I realized and decided to instead focus on when I can go to sleep. What do I need to be able to sleep well, and how long? In my case, having eaten well, paid my rent and not being cold, is crucial, and preferably sleeping alone in the room, without anybody going in when I’m not there, which really should be evident. This is called external factors.

Internal factors, are the mental and emotional stress we feel, such as unresolved issues with others that directly impact our ability to live a balanced life, including sleeping enough uninterupted.

Who can you contact today to try to either solve a problem, or stop being one harming another person?

Only the sun rules!

Freedom isn’t free

When do you feel free? To me it can be cantering with a horse on an open field, to dance it all out on a club, or of course to leave Sweden and enter a new destination. Travelling is freedom.

But what is freedom really at home? It’s to have a home where nobody intrudes, where I can speak my mind freely, whether orally or in writing, without neither repurcussions, nor being stalked or slandered. It’s simply being free from oppression.

In Sweden, I am not free. In 2007, the Swedish state health agency Försäkringskassan revoked my sick compensation because they thought my blogging should have to be stopped. Blogging that I have never been paid for, then in Swedish, including sharing my health challenges. We were a couple of people commenting on each other’s blogs to support each other, and it was thanks to that, I was offered a temporary lease to another apartment when I lost my own, due to said revocation. Thank God! I appealed and reported it. Nonetheless, even with witnesses and physicians notes, and bank statements, I was assumed cheating. I later learned that it was someone reporting his suspicion with his false assumptions.

If this is my Swedish freedom, what is it then I’m supposed to defend?

Without income nobody can feel free, since it’s the foundation for making a choice. Freedom of choice, freedom to choose what to eat, where to sleep and with whom, freedom to talk about my dreams, freedom to apply for jobs and go to one, and freedom to express myself. Freedom to try to be and do my best. Nothing ever possible without money, that the Swedish state is hindering me from making.

Protecting our space

The body of the land is like an extension of our physical body. We inhabit both with our spirit, personality and soul. And together with others we create a culture that is both the result of, and the making of, the rules we live under and steer how we interact, within our shared space.

Protecting our space is therefore a question about how we enforce our personal boundaries and our country’s borders. Sometimes we like to get help from our neighbors, sometimes it’s a global question. What we must protect ourselves from, is both the enemy within and the enemy coming from outside. How much help do we need from others to do so and can even that help become a threat?

When I hear about how my American girlfriends have had to send out their sons into deployment, it saddens me. Likewise, I wonder with what right the United States claims right to have a presence in any other country than within their own territories.

Here in Portugal, there is an academy for Nato communications, close to where the original telegraph was first invented and used between Britain and Portugal. Naturally, as a peace-lover, I’m primarily against military presence, but if the police isn’t warding off intruders, who else can? It should however be evident that any foreign country’s military base should never be allowed to be present unless called for by the citizens, but rather Nato’s presence perhaps, or any other alliance’s.

If the Swedish police and courts can’t stop my stalker from intruding, and stop the contineous thefts and sabotages by others for more than ten years, meanwhile refusing me monetary assistance and compensation, who then can, how and where? If the Swedish media refuses to publish information about this, for the Swedish people to discuss it, who then has become a greater enemy than the stalker?

If only one country goes against another, it becomes a conflict. If several countries, such as the United States, Germany and Portugal goes together, it will become a matter of questioning the decisions by Sweden, on behalf of my Human Rights, based on evidence. That is what I want.

Why is it even a question to allow me to have a home, eat, work, pay my bills and live a normal life?

The gift in dancing

The last couple of weeks, I have started practicing Isadora Duncan technique through online classes taught by Emily D’Angelo. And a couple of days ago, while I was dancing polka the Isadora Duncan way, I heard my own little bubbly laughter emerge again from within, not the normal kind of laughter because I’m tired or because of what I or someone else has said or done. But a laughter so precious, I can only recognize it as cooing, that I’ve only heard myself once having last summer here in Portugal in a swimmingpool.

Through skipping in a certain rhythm and finding myself capable to let go into the specific style doing it right (I hope), it enables me to feel joy. What a gift that is! I simply start smiling spontaneously.

Each dance style has provided me with a specific gift, or focus. The reward of each practice is simply how it makes me feel during, and after, a class. This has to do with both the nature of the movements, and the music. And expressing the purpose of the choreography.

African dance liberated my body and is great for a good physical workout with forceful gestures, going all out, with grounding root energy – opening.

Hawaiian Hula made me more in touch with my connection to Mother Earth and caring for myself and others with a greater sense of heart energy – embracing, and smiling for stage, found with love.

Isadora Duncan dance makes me feel in touch with the airy and light side of life, too with its own set of motions, where I get to use my body in new ways – expressing myself and smiling from within.

I can’t see it as anything more than the highest form of healing for me, in direct communion with spirit. A union between music and movement.

Photo of me doing an attitude from last summer, to become improved.

Sacred circles for speaking

There is nothing more important than to hear others and be heard. It is through active listening without prejudice AND active speaking about what is important to us, we not only grow in understanding but also heal and can move forward with our own life.

Therefore, sacred circles for speaking, will be at the heart of Telluselle Living Center, besides barefoot dances, qigong, meditation and organic beauty treatments and healing. The sacred circles will be of various types: Some to support a common experience or need, some to explore personality traits and expression, and some to discuss societal changes.

Together we define our own set of values and try to apply them in our daily lives, whereupon our successes and failures can be shared and discussed.

This type of Lifecoaching will be led by me and others, certified according to ICF’s standards, both for these groups, and for one on one sessions.

Contact me if you want to try!

Shining in the mirror

How do we learn how to shine from within?

Through dancing Isadora Duncan, I have grown a greater awareness of my solar plexus, where the center of my personality is seated. Where joy is near and sincere.

Soul longs for freedom and space. The more I express my personality, the more it becomes safe at home with me. It’s also its need of expansion, that we need to acknowledge.

With a mutually respectful exchange and a sincere wishing well of each other, we can shine together.

To feel connected to our own inner sun, connected to the real sun, creates the foundation for a positive, lifegiving evolution, starting with our health.

Balanced by the sea.

Danced with spirit.

Creativity energy

In 2014, I came up with an idea on how to create an event at the Statue of Liberty in New York City, that I visualised in front of me as a celebration of victory and peace.

It’s designed to present the idea of securing one’s homeland with the different branches, representing the natural elements. Borders for protection but with freedom within, that I think Isadora Duncan also stands for, as well as Hawaiian Hula. What if the generosity and hospitality known of the United States simply is Hawaiian? Can you picture an enermous lei around the Statue of Liberty? Dances and orchestra, speeches and flags… I have my own choreography in mind.

The other day, here in Portugal where I currently am, where I also was in 2015 for a vacation and healing, I stumbled upon these monuments reflecting part of my idea, on my way to go grocery shopping for glutenfree products. This one made me wonder: Who does the Eagle belong to? 

These discoveries on my walk, to me is the result of the creative intention energy that wants to manifest. What if you could support me to go to the United States? Instead so far, one of the Swedish embassy workers in Lisbon, Cristina Xavier, insinuates that I am living here as a resident, that I had debts in July (when I had my own money through a nobility grant) on my vacation and that it’s my fault that others don’t pay for what have used by me, while I’m still stalked and sabotaged with intrusions and thefts, thus not helping me neither with money directly or helping me get some from another source. Again, I’m forced to beg on the street instead of working, whether back in advertising as a professional copywriter or as a career coach, or with organizational change consulting, or even simply standing in a store, for more than the last three years (plus five years in Sweden). Besides letting me being featured in the regular media, like I used to since growing up, both in Sweden and the United States, and sell my books with adjoining speeches, discussions and projects!

 

Bereaved of joy

It was when I saw that glimpse of my own inner child’s light in the side rearview mirror in Hawaii 2004, when Jesse took me on a ride around Oahu, I realized how I had lost something.

We refer to babies as “bundles of joy”, or perhaps pets that we also can love unconditionally, but what if these are just outer reminders of what lies dormant within you, beckoning to be expressed?

True joy is never dependant on anybody else than yourself to experience, but we’re always interdependent. It’s this responsibility that I see many people refuse assuming, especially in the self-help business, where everybody just want to manifest money to themselves.

In a harsh world, we no longer are bundles of joy towards each other since we all fight for our right to eat, sleep and love. And sometimes that joy, inherent within our soul, flees, or is chased away, by evil tongues and acts, whether through our own or more likely others’ reckless behavior not considering the true vulnerability with which we live here on earth, where our lives can end in a split second.

Our soul is wisdom, our spirit is the spark in our eyes and our voice, that embodies passion. It’s this that constitutes our charisma, radiating when we are whole and coming forth when we get to do what we love with respect and support by others.

I felt I lost mine when my mother became terminally ill in 2003, but perhaps even before that, little pieces had left or become buried down. It’s this healing journey, I started to reclaim in late 2014, 20 years after it had been peeled off so much it had made me physically ill.

What do you win on bereaving me, yourself or anybody else of their joy? Would you have more of your own if you hinder others? What can you do instead to enable both yourself to feel joy, and others?