Create action steps

To reach any goal, fulfil any longing or commit to a change – we must take action! With a professional life coach to your assistance, you can create a plan with which steps to take and when. What one thing can you do today, or at least this week, to take you one step further to your goal?

Examples of action steps include:

  • Make a phonecall
  • Find someone who already has succeeded, to learn from
  • Check prices
  • Research details
  • Look up rules, regulations and laws
  • Make a drawing
  • Write an outline
  • Come up with arguments to why you should succeed
  • List obstacles
  • Find support in a friend, colleague, spouse or life coach
  • Ask to sit down with your boss or supervisor
  • Plan time for when you are going to work with your plan
  • Prepare a presentation
  • Book a presentation for a potential partner
  • Go and see a competitor
  • Read up on the subject, or subjects, concerning your goal
  • Sign up for a class
  • Get yourself and your gear in order
  • Make a budget
  • Make a schedule
  • Watch, read or listen to something inspiring
  • Ask for concise feedback

If you don’t know what to start with, a good way according to project management, is to start from the goal and go backwards when you write down your action steps. For example, if your goal is to publish a book, your last step would be to upload the final copy to the printer, but before that, you would need to do what? Check your spelling. And before that? Ask someone to read it and give you critique. And before that? Write the last chapter. And so forth…

What can you do today?

Using vision boards

Have you guys ever heard of making and using vision boards to help you achieve your goals? I’ve made vision boards since I saw it on Oprah some 20 years ago and find them fascinating. Many are the times, I’ve attracted exactly what I’ve been posting later, without knowing it at the time, so I thought I’d share some.

You make one by taking a big size paper and glue a photo of yourself in the middle. Then you look through various magazines, catalogues and brochures with the eyes of wonder. Cut out images and words that you find appealing. You shouldn’t analyse this at all, but just go with what you find attractive. You can also add printed out images if you want to be more specific, but that takes away some of the discoveries you’ll make when you’re done. Glue all your clippings around your photo as you see it fit and look appealing. This too, need no analysing when you’re in the midst of it. It’s supposed to be fun and be in flow! Then, put it in a place where you can have a look regularly, or even hide it in a closet for a certain time to see what happens…. You will attract what you pasted!

The first vision board is one I made in Honolulu in 2010. “Lighthouse wonder origin” became a reconnection to my inner child, which started through meeting someone I think of as a “lighthouse” in 2004. But, I’ve indeed pondered about how “stepping into 3 million dollars pure” could become true, especially after landing in Sweden, completely unplanned. But… about two months ago, I was contacted about taking part of a class action lawsuit against Facebook for those who have been residing in the US 2010-11 to share 90 million US dollars. I was a little sceptical at first of course but saw that one of the attorneys is in Hawaii, so that made me sign up. I have yet to find out how much each of us will receive, but as far as I’ve learned the deal is on. Can you imagine? What if I would become a millionaire or at least get enough to continue forward, to go to San Francisco as planned?

The second vision board shows “Natural born Paradise leader” and “silk” among other things and was made in Sweden in early 2013 – a year prior to hearing about, and starting to take, Isadora Duncan dance classes, where we indeed are wearing tunics, made of… silk. I also found myself feeling reborn after going to Portugal in 2015 and being able to overcome my fear of water and get my head under.

So, get your scissors out, collect some magazines and get down to it! If nothing else, you’ll have a nice reminder of what you prefer and long for. I’ve introduced this to a couple of people in Stockholm through MeetUp and hopefully, this too will become part of our activities at Telluselle Living Center.

Gratitude is a shortcut to happiness

Have you too heard about keeping a gratitude journal? Maybe you’ve bought a pre-defined one with prompts to answer or maybe you haven’t really figured out what and how to write one? Here is how!

  1. Buy a notebook that you think is pretty, a diary.
  2. Decide a time of day you’d like to write, that you try let become a habit.
  3. Start each sentence with: “Today, I’m grateful for …” (or leave out today) and simply fill in your own examples, preferably at least 10.

What you now will notice, is how you each day will recognize things around you and in your meetings with others, that you would like to write down in your journal, as you start to focus more on the positive in your life. Not only that, but after a while, things to be grateful for seem to even increase!

Here is my example:

I’m grateful for sunshine.

I’m grateful for a nice compliment from someone saying he understands why another likes me.

I’m grateful for having what I need.

I’m grateful for pretty clothes that fit.

I’m grateful to have free internet.

I’m grateful for new likes and followers.

I’m grateful to be able to take Isadora Duncan dance classes through Zoom.

I’m grateful for medicine that works fast for my sensitive stomach.

I’m grateful for my new glasses.

I’m grateful for tofu and rice.

What are you grateful for?

To find more tips on working with gratitude as a gateway to abundance, click here.

Being spiritual

There seem to be a common understanding that being spiritual would imply tending to our emotions and using various mindfulness tools to for example feel calmer or aid in healing a broken heart. Although our thoughts can impact how we feel and how we feel can affect our thoughts, it’s not the same as being spiritual. Being spiritual is to add a dimension to our perception and beliefs that together constitute our faith and our way of dealing with existential angst, such as believing in an after-life or that spirits can live unseen among us. It can also be believing in feeling connected to another realm than our normal physical and literal world and that we can reach through prayer.

Our spirit can be found through our breath and it’s what make us feel interconnected. It’s how we can experience synchronicities and being connected through our hearts with those who live afar from us. Thus, being spiritual is to add a dimension to our reality, while our emotions are about how we feel, and our bodies’ needs, and senses are about the physical aspect. Trying to understand this; ourselves, others and the world, make up our intellect, how we think about things.

Standing in a yoga pose or trying to cope with grief and reading regular books about it, however I suggest, is nothing spiritual at all. What makes us believe in or not believe in certain things, constitute spirituality.

Find support in a group

There is nothing as supportive as to talk to someone who has gone through the same thing you are. That is why my mother founded a breast cancer organization in Sweden, called The Pearl, and this is one of the reasons I would like to host a variety of support groups at Telluselle Living Center. We’ll sit in a circle so we can create a conversation with equality, where everybody can share their experiences and their wishes. Together, we can find ways to cope and live better lives based on mutual compassion.

Topics can include:

  • Living as a single parent
  • Living with a terminal disease
  • Living with PTSD
  • Becoming unemployed
  • Victims of abuse in a private relationship
  • Victims of abuse in the workplace

The support groups can also include topics like:

  • Starting a business
  • Networking for work
  • Expat experience
  • Living more eco-friendly
  • Rekindling passion
  • Faith discussions
  • Curbing racism
  • Healthier ideals
  • A cause for improving society

Do you have any particular need, or would you like to meet with others about a certain issue you would like to improve, or do you have an idea to pursue? All these things and more will be available for groups with about 8-10 people. You can also send me an email with your suggestions!

Living according to season

The best health is the one we have without knowing, without having to think about it, when we’re in a natural state of flow and happiness. Nonetheless, something that is fairly easy to live by and always is sustainable, is to live according to season.

When fall comes, we change into warmer clothes and do more indoors. And we are made aware of the full array of fresh produce that now have come to be harvested. Eating according to season, is one way of living a sustainable life. This means to eat only what is naturally growing where you live and when it does, such as strawberries in the summer and apples in the fall. Here in Sweden, we would not have any fruit during winter if we only lived according to what is naturally abundant on our land, but at least if we only resort to buy imported fruits and vegetables during winter, we’re still going with what is sustainable before available, as a preference. Even if you don’t, or can’t, grow any of your own vegetables or fruits, you can research what is naturally being farmed where you live and try to prioritize to buy local and organic when you can. This enables you to live in more harmony with nature and thus have better health.

Coaching tip: Level with the opposite

A secret way to increase our creativity, is by doing something the opposite way, or simply think of the opposite. This opens up a broader spectrum with room for more nuances, as well as more ways to interpret the situation and find more possible solutions. This way can also be used for a life coaching purpose.

My own current example that I’m going through, is dealing with the changes my body is undergoing, partly because of others’ imposed stress and partly because of arriving menopause and health challenges with some needed surgeries to be done (healing my teeth and removing skin cancer). The natural response to this is of course to be afraid. While I in no means think that one shouldn’t be afraid but take this fear seriously, an opposite thought and emotion can prove to be helpful. What if instead of being scared you became excited? Excitement paves the way for a positive outlook and expectation, with an open mindset to not know for sure what is going to happen, when or how, but to see it as something new to grow from. Therefore, I’ve decided to remember to seek a feeling of excitement to be led by.

This way of using the opposites, can also be used to find and heal any other negative thought or emotion. Anytime you feel dread, negativity, envy, jealousy or so, and want to move away from that, make sure not to try to escape it, but transform it with the help of its opposite. If you feel stressed, how can you transform this into calm?

To read more life coaching examples of how to transform things into its positive opposite, click here.

Children of the land

It was through the Hawaiian organization Kanu Hawaii, together with dancing Hula, that I got to develop my connection to Mother Earth in a more tangible way, yet spiritually founded, in 2010. But it started already in 2004, when I was there the first time and became in total awe of the splendid beauty of the volcanoes and had such an overwhelming experience. There is something very profound and existential to witness first-hand how Earth is made, how the volcanic lava creates new ground, and how a tiny red flower called ‘Ohi’a lehua, becomes the first to grow on it. It was the beginning of Earth being birthed right there in front of me, and the beginning of a new life for me, after my own mother had just passed away. (More on this can be read in my book “The Call for Divine Mothering“.)

I had long before this, always felt attracted to the shamanic way of living and beliefs, wondering if it would be possible to integrate this into an urban lifestyle and in Hawaii, I found this more possible, thanks to their way of life, incorporated in the Aloha-spirit and the ideology Huna. A way to become a true warrior, but of peace and beauty, rather than only battle (which of course Hawaiians also are quite capable of and have been throughout history). The Hawaiian history is simply somewhat younger and therefore, there still are remnants to cherish and continue with.

One of the symbols of Hawaii is the turtle, which often is said to symbolically be the one carrying earth on its back, and called Honu in Hawaiian, which together with lulu, means a safe place to gather for turtles.

We’re all her children and we’re all destined to find our place in the eco-system as a worthy species, put in place. As soon as you realise this within yourself in relation to the land, you too can realise oneness.

This song is entitled Keiki O Ka ‘Aina, which means children of the land and remind us to uphold the stories and myths in Hawaii – and elsewhere.

The latest news about the volcanoes in Hawaii can be read here.

Healing with the angels

Whether it’s to mend a broken heart or a physical ailment, praying for healing always make us feel better. While the Holy Spirit is said to come to inspire and comfort us, I like praying directly to the Archangels with my concerns. Angels are usually accepted in most traditions and faiths, wherefore they indeed can be our messengers. Here is how my prayer goes:

“Dear Archangel Raphael, please poor down your healing green light to help me heal, restore, revive and integrate my inner child in a safe and lasting manner, as well as healing my teeth and my skin. Thank you, Archangel Raphael.”

And what can you see in the photo above? Dare to believe!

What is healthy?

To have a good health is the foundation of having a good life. But what does it really mean? One of the best measures I know, is to not have to think about it at all, but just living in flow. Nonetheless, it can be defined as this:

Mental health – how you think and perceive your reality

Emotional health – how you feel and relate to others as well as to yourself

Spiritual health – how you establish a faith and belief system that you strive to incorporate in life

Physical health – how your body functions

Then we can add the aspect of compassion as the glue that makes it all stick together. Nothing will ever become worse if we exercise compassion, but only better. This also encompass Mother Earth. Thus, having green health, is to ensure that what you do, and use, are good both for your own body and self, as well as the environment.

Finding your motivation

One of the secrets to success, is to find what really motivates you, why and how. When you realize these driving factors, you can change more easily and learn how to work with yourself and not against. What feels rewarding for you, why and how?

There are two major ways to look at motivation. One is that we are driven by outer recognition and the other that we are driven by inner satisfaction. They can change over the course of your life, as well as in various situations. You might for example be driven more for outer recognition in terms of your job, while an inner satisfaction might be all you need for practising a passionate hobby.

Outer drivers are:

  • Salary
  • Status
  • Fame

Inner drivers are:

  • Purpose
  • Meaning
  • Satisfaction

We are driven by both inner and outer factors, where the key motivation is found in our needs. Problem arises when we are looking to satisfy a need in the wrong place, such as trying to feel loved at work and claim status at home. To find balance in life, you can clarify these drivers and your own values together with a professional life coach. Dare to ask yourself what it really is that you long for!

Mind maps: A tool for learning

Now that the fall is here and many resume their studies and work, I thought I’d share a tip for learning: Create mind maps! I have used these during my entire studies at the universities, as well as whenever I read something that I’d like to remember and get clear about. I also use them to jot down ideas to develop further, naming several aspects or factors to take into account, or in meetings. Mind maps are simply awesome for anyone who prefers visual learning. Here is how you make one:

Take a clean sheet of paper without lines or dots and turn it to landscape. Most does it on white regular paper that you use for printing and copying, but you can also use colored papers would this be inspirational to you, as well as colored pens, unless you want it all digital.

In the middle of the paper, write the main theme, such as the title of a book, subject, issue or topic and circle it. Now, draw lines outwardly from the circle and write down the minor themes, such as the table of content of a book. Draw another line, or as many as you like, under the main branch and state a couple of keywords about the specific chapter or outlined factor. In this way, you can summarize a book’s chapter on one page and altogether have perhaps only a dozen to repeat before an exam. Mind maps can also be used instead of flashcards for a speaking engagement, to enable an easy flow and a sharing of the content with your own words. This too, is part of learning.

Mind maps makes a lasting impression by its use of both words and drawings, similar to regular images that we tend to become more affected by. Using mind maps is to use this truth for your own benefit.

Going green

While learning about climate change and gas-emissions can be important, it can also produce a sense of hopelessness. All news can be frightening, or even create a greater divide of what isn’t happening here but only “there”. Then it’s important to funnel it down to what can really be done. To reclaim the important stance of thinking global but act local.

So, if curbing climate change is a cause you believe in, what can you actually do about it? How can you go green?

  • Change lightbulbs and be aware of how you use electricity, and where it comes from. Only buy it from trusted sources if you can.
  • Sort the trash. What can be reused and recycled should go into a different pile than your normal garbage can. Give away what you no longer want or need. And buy vintage too sometimes.
  • Buy organic and preferably locally grown produce, that avoids using pesticides. Make it into a tasting venue. Does a tomato taste different if it’s organically grown (I definitely think so!)?
  • Clean with consideration. Use detergents that are eco-friendly and soaps that are made of bio ingredients. A bottle of white vinegar and some water can be all that you need to keep your counters squeaky clean.
  • Use caring products. There is a saying that you should only put on your skin, what you can eat. Look into fabrics and origin, how things are manufactured and distributed, as well as actual ingredients.
  • Enjoy the outdoors. Go for regular walks and acknowledge the seasonal changes. Use them as inspiration for your own life journey if you like. Which projects have now come to fruition and what would you like to plant next year?
  • Travel less and more with trains. Commute together with others and save money as well.
  • Make your voice heard. Gather your neighbors for a clean-up day and write to your local politician about any issues you would like to improve.

Do you have any suggestions and ideas yourself? Comment here, talk about it with others, seek out more information and go for it! This could become an actual venture!

Care about yourself, others and earth.

Saluting the sun

My entire life, I’ve been very skinny. Even a little too skinny. I’ve had problem gaining weight as opposed to most others, and never dieted. Thus, I’ve never been able to relate to other women, except for dancers. Imagine the surprise, now that I’ve gained 15 kilos (30 lbs)! I’m forced to eat different than I normally do since two years, and I’m not as physically active as I used to, such as walking instead of taking the bus, and most of all, I assume it’s because I entered menopause. I’m hoping though, that this will become regulated, when I can move and get back into my normal routines. Nonetheless, I still take dance classes, and do yoga. Here is my sun salutation:

The important point is, to have a wellness goal rather than a competitive goal. That means you only use your own capacity and performance as a measure. To only use yourself as your comparison. My increased weight, becomes a weight, that I’m lifting.

Which changes have your body undergone? What do you do to meet them?

Led by beauty

Do I believe that I would have a more loving relationship, if I place two doves made of porcelain in a specific corner in my home? No, I don’t. However, we can choose to let two doves symbolise love, the way it is in Feng Shui, and let a pair placed in our home, remind us of a focus on loving partnership.

What goes wrong in our society, is the power we attribute certain objects, we give them a symbolic meaning and then seem to assume that the object would have power. It doesn’t. A tree is a tree. A necklace is a necklace. But, we can adorn ourselves and live a life tending to beauty. In fact, I crave beauty!

Beauty to me, has to do with design, style, shape, and color, of various things and how these are put together in ways, that feels matching to me in a specific order, or place, to create an aesthetic sense of harmony, in my home, office and the way I dress. It provides me with a certain strength and satisfaction, that enables me to maneuverer better in my world, simply because the organization helps me find things, prepare and execute various tasks with greater enjoyment.

So, the use of symbols can either be given power, thus go against the Bible, or be given a use of beauty and focus.

What do you believe in and why? How do you carry out these beliefs in your own life and surroundings?

Influencing society

“Be the change you want to see in this world.” (Buddha)

The founder of Telluselle Living Center is driven by a vision for a society that has become an extension of an eco-friendly, creative and artistic community. If you want to be part of this, if you have a sense, or a wish, of how you want life to be, you can make this happen in three ways:

  • Start a business – by making an innovation, whether product, service or a method, you can build a tool for improving people’s lives
  • Be part of media – whether you just focus on building and using your own social media profile, become a focused commentator, or take yourself into mainstream media news and talkshows, you can share your opinion
  • Step into politics – write to your local politician with your concerns and requests, become active yourself within NGOs, and above all, go and vote

More than ever, you have the power closer to you. Write down what you believe in and any ideas you might have to bring about more equality and sustainability. To care about yourself, others and earth. This will also be topics for some of our sacred conversation circles at TLC.

Would you like a cup of tea?

Whether it is to invite a special person, or to enjoy in your own blissful solitude, a cup of tea can warm both your body and heart. In Japan, they have a special ceremony where their green tea is prepared as an offering, while most assorted black teas are imported from China. And if you’re curious about herbal medicine, you can try it by drinking herbal teas. Just like with regular medicine, natural remedies can also be poisonous in certain quantities or combinations. By having them in tea, you can be sure that it’s digestible in a safer manner.

I prefer Echinacea against colds, sipping on as soon as any symptom appear. On a more daily basis, I like Ginger Lemon to soothe my stomach, Lime and Mint to refresh myself in the summer time, Cinnamon Green tea in the winter, and Eucalyptus against any chest-colds. All sweetened with some organic honey.

Which herbs are your favorites?

Dealing with fears

If you are someone who has struggled with anxiety or stuck in a stressful every day-loop, please read on. Rather than only succumbing to taking pills, get to know your anxiety, your stress, that in fact is fear. It’s sound, healthy and deriving throughout human history to have a flight, flee or freeze response. And it’s the same type of fear, that now has moved into our boarding rooms and offices. Being often online with self presented material, can also be a source of performance anxiety, that can be unhealthy, like stage freight. Both building a scare but dressed differently. So, what does our fundamental fear feel like? Go outside in nature, preferably alone, to find out.

First there will be sounds, you may or may not recognise. Birds passing by against a beautiful sky, or rattled by something moving on the ground. There may be other animals, whether domesticated cats, wild boars, or little dragonflies and butterflies. Then there will be mushrooms and berries, some poisonous, some nourishing. By the water and with the wind, you will meet real power. And at no time, will you be certain, or superior, if you are awake and present. Now, you’ve gotten to know real fear, and can thus understand better, where your own reactions are coming from, when it’s other people that are the threat, or potentially so. Your reaction is not an illness, it’s an instinct.

A bonus. How does it feel to pet a horse, cow or dog? Animals will immediately mirror your own emotions. If you are hesitant and a little nervous, the horse will also hesitate and become nervous. If you greet your dog with loud love, it will meet you with the same. And if they are indifferent to you passing by, you are in synch, neither threatened, nor threatening.

Nature puts us in our right place.

Create mindful presence

A good way to create mindfulness, I have found, is through body awareness. It started with my yoga teacher Anette, who instructed us to ask ourselves where we had our bodies. To feel our positions within the asanas. This includes things like noticing if your limbs are stretched and where you have your weight: On the front of your feet (like you should), or are you heavy on the heels? Posture in turn, is of course, also a dancer’s strength and focus. Close your eyes and find your center. Feel the rest of your body by going through each part. Next step, is to declare what you are doing.

Every thing that you literally are doing, whether performing a daily chore like doing dishes, or simply picking up a fruit to relish its taste, can be your foundation for mindful presence. Say out loud what you are doing, while you also are thinking and focusing on it. This enables you more presence and much more awareness. You become awake.

For more tips on meditation, go here.

Reconciling religions

How do we combine wellness practices that have their origin in various fields of religion? Can one practice yoga and still pray the rosary? I do.

The way I look at religion, is from a spiritual point of view. I like to see God as the highest power over all religions and languages. Sometimes, we might just be using different names for the same phenomena or power. So, to me, God is the boss, the umbrella.

Underneath God, there are several recognized prophets, awakened masters, and saints, such as Jesus, Buddha and Mohammed. To me, they are all on equal standing, and simply tell of various places and times in history.

When it comes to things like Mother Earth or Yin and Yang, they are impersonal and thus tell of the power inherent in the creation and its great phenomena.

So, wellness practices like yoga, qigong and meditation, are all to me, tools for my physical health and mental focus, for my life to improve and be a good person, and most of all, a way to understand myself and humanity.