BAMBOO STILL STANDS

 

logo_flower_smallWhile I await new funds, I have focused on perfecting my books and business plan,  but I still plan on making a bamboo lei. Each flower is thought to be made in one piece, from a cut half rod of bamboo, to make it slightly round and better resemble a small plumeria flower. I have also looked into ways of producing this, such as with water drilling and laser cutting to ensure an efficient and easy method.

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Hopefully this will be developed further later this year. Each flower put into the lei with love.

FIND YOUR FOCUS

LogoWhen I first started dancing classical ballet in Lund, we used to do turns on the diagonale across the floor and I felt so proud that I had learnt the secret of turning your head first before the rest of the body follows, spotting at a point on the wall. Over the years, this was not necessarily forgotten but hard to follow with the extra stress, loss of dance practice and the twists and turns of life coming inbetween. Someone stalking me as a teenager made me feel like I always had to be on the run.

However, when I changed career to work as Professional Lifecoach, the name for my business became Balancefocus, registered in late 2001 as my second business, and soon this became a metaphor for keeping a clear view of what is important and finding balance in life. I worked as a Lifecoach parallel to my studies and after until 2004 when I left for Honolulu to grieve my mother and restore a more thorough approach. After my return in 2005, I continued again with the addition of small dance workshops, but was suddenly threatened in 2006 again after I was in 2003 which forced me to go on sick-leave until 2007. I was however again sabotaged and threatened (beginning in 1996 and in 1997 when I started my first freelancing business as copywriter after a couple of years as employed) and therefor decided to move back to the United States in 2010. After a good start, I was again stalked and sabotaged, whereupon I was forced to return to Sweden. After a year of recuperating, I wrote my second book and finished editing my first and was about to start working again in 2014. Whereupon again, my life was destroyed by some impostor or stalker.

My preferred coaching is indeed with private citizens one-on-one where I ask questions similar to a really good interview where you grow insights about yourself, your pattern of thinking and behaving, what your goals and dreams are and how you can reach them. To our assistance, we have lots of tools for time-management, making an inventory of your skills coming from your experience and education and ways of exploring what you are longing for the most. To reach these goals or simply feel better about your life, an improved self-confidence is usually a must wherefor we cover that too, using things like affirmations and mirror-work to discover which needs and conditions you lack and prefer. And of course which values you live by setting boundaries and what fuels your passion. Living a life in balance is to make room for physical exercise, mental training, spiritual seeking and emotional intimacy besides work and sleep, food and rest. And recreation! All in moderation and flexibility with a sense of taking responsibility.

Naturally, similar to therapists, it goes by evidence that living by and trying on these different tools for our own lifejourney is a must, including having been coached and being trained to, like I have through my research and classes at Malmo College (University). Read more here. I also offer coaching in small groups where the members have similar goals or simply would like to grow in awareness and expand their thinking to define various virtues with examples, as well as assist Human Resource Managers and unions with career development discussions and physical fitness centers with Lifecoaching for their customers together with their personal trainers.

Not too surprisingly I found my way back to the dance floor with classical music and new ways to spot to keep my focus. What is yours?

THE CALL FOR DIVINE FATHERING

What happened in 2011-12 and the lessons in that, is something I wrote my second book about. I want to be able to share with the world and make sure that everybody that I met would be portrayed and cited as correctly as possible in hopefully an empowering way, to enabling healing and correction. It is also a witness testimony and the way I was able to return to myself – however not to return to Sweden… You can buy it here!

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So, how do I get back? From a coaching point of view, plans are made, budget taken into account, preparations communicated… and then meanwhile things change in society, whether rates or rules, or stalkers and terrorists break havoc on what is good and positive, while at the same time we must take into account all this, timing with others and of course our own health, affected by this stress, which in turn is the foundation for the application for a visa. You can support me by donating here!

MEET UP!

My aim is to provide a positive place for good meetings to occur that becomes a little like a Greek forum for meaningful discussions and art, for relaxation and rejuvenation but in a interior style combining east with west.  The question is how to budget this build, keeping it small enough to be quality, but big enough to be profitable in ways that support the art. One way that I am trying out this, is by checking out the market for various activities such as coaching groups and book circles in Stockholm. This week I organized two more.
IMG_3320I have tried using newsletters, PR and flyers when I lived in Malmö and the past two years in Stockholm, I mostly use the digital platform called MeetUp (available for most cities) to market and hold these small events, at local coffee-shops and small studios for now. A rule of thumb is that we receive a 1% paying customers turn-out of our target group, meaning number of sold products or services, with attendees, when our marketing efforts work well (minus unforeseen world-events). Making it count is everything!

THE WALL

The reasons why I can’t remain in Sweden much longer are many, so many it already became part of destroying my new life that I was starting over with in the United States in 2010-12. Then it led to deportation instead of volunteer departure which I first was ruled, giving me a 10 year ban from re-entering unless waived. But instead of either enabling me new opportunities in Stockholm, start my business or supported to return, I have been obstructed from even having my own apartment, less becoming employed with more than 300 job applications sent out, even though I have at least ten years of work experience of both being self-owned and employed with higher education.

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The walls we build should be keeping intruders from trespassing with unlawful entering, which I never did and never do. Instead I am being even more intruded upon in the already isolated culture in Sweden. The wall against Mexico, however, is something I do endorse.

While I was in immigration proceedings with my valid visa, I was held at FDC Honolulu for 338 days which I have written a book about. You can find that and my first one on Amazon.com. If you have any suggestions or questions, please comment!

 

ORGANIC HAIR AND BODYCARE

There is a saying that what you can’t eat, you shouldn’t put on your body or in your hair and I keep that in mind. This also is important for deodorants which used to be a hot topic among holistic medicine advocates, allegedly contributing to causing breast-cancer. Naturally, this too was something I took to heart.

I became a half-vegetarian in the end of the 90’s in an effort to improve my health, especially to calm down my sensitive stomach. At the same time, I also suffered numerous break-outs and had a sensitive skin. I must have tried almost all brands, both cheap and very expensive such as Lancome and Biotherm, just as I took antibiotics for three months. But, after spending some time in Hawaii in 2004 and 2005, I met an organic hairdresser who had just opened up his new salon in Malmö, Sweden upon my return, who also had been to Hawaii. Joshua introduced me to the brands Santé and John Masters Organics which I both tried and instantly fell for, finally feeling a difference! I have alternated a couple of times with Eco-cosmetics and Uertekram, but for the most time, simply returned to use JM that I use to the last drop. These products contain nothing but biological ingredients, some organic, and their facial series are based on Aloe Vera instead of water. I used to dream of never having to wear make-up every day. Now I can! (When I do, I have tried Jane Iredal, Nvey Eco and Anne-Marie Björlid besides Santé and in the wintertime in Sweden, I have also used Rosenserien several times.)

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In fall 2008, I also realized that I had a problem with wheat and barley so I had become glutenintolerant, perhaps increased due to stress. After removing that from my choice of foods together with cooking rather than frying, increasing my dance practice and taking more iron and pure Aloe Vera gel internally, after about three months I finally felt so much better, it was as if I became a new person! Something I treasure and would like to keep. These still are my favorites.

Have you ever tried dyeing your hair yourself? It goes without saying that we want to extend our organic care to also embrace what we otherwise do at salons. Even plant-based and organic products come in packages to do at home, or at a salon. Most natural coloring are made with a base of Henna, making the tone red at its foundation, which is important to remember if you for example is blonde, or when the sun bleaches it during summer.
hair_behindThe brand Khadi comes from India and is a mix of herbs and comes in a green paste that you simply mix into hot water with a regular spoon and then apply upside down in the shower from the roots and out to the ends. The longer you let it sit, the darker the tone. An hour is usually good. And any spots washes off easily without leaving stains. Best of all, you don’t have to deal with any strong smells, just like spinach! No bleeding either after the first wash. This one is called dark brown.

Do you dare to make the change? You never know, they might even be from heaven scent.

TITLED

The clouds start to parade outside my window and a cold wind stir the trees. I lit a candle and sat down to edit one of my books with some final touches.

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Laying it to rest and then picking it up again is essential both to test its validity and to fine tune each word, each sentence, each paragraph and page, layout and to be filled with the exact meaning I have chosen for it, once the story has been told. I want my text to be like music that way, hold its own rhythm, accentuated at certain places, vibrate in a certain tone at others, be inspiring and make my point by offering these real life experiences that yet will always be too elusive to portray with words. Told my way, in my style. Sometimes I manage to, the spirit of the essence starts to flow through me onto the keyboard and words come out. First we must surrender. Put aside all our own procrastination, all our own expectations and pressures, all our ambitions in a sense of letting go of how it will be perceived, not because we don’t want a great audience to find us or for our book to be found, but to free ourselves from our self- and societal imposed limits to what we think we must write. Then, we just do it.

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To my help I am surrounded by spirits from near and far. And Strindberg.

I put up a note inside the door to an apartment building on Strindbergsgatan 44 in 2013, looking for rent. In my former apartment last year, the man who rented it out to me had two paintings with Strindberg’s portrait on. My current has this bust.

DANCING WITH SPIRIT

It is said that dance is not of the Bible, but it is! It is for us to rejoice with cymbals and cheer such as in: “I will turn their mourning into joy, and will comfort them, and make them rejoice from their sorrow” – Jeremiah 31:13. It is even said that Isadora Duncan was one of the apostles in a former lifetime, praising God’s creation.

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What I know is, when we dance to music without song, we allow our bodies to be embodying the Holy spirit with which the music was composed and through this, we can express our own divinity more freely. This also opens up for a variety of dynamics and feelings in our motions according to personality and theme.

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Photos showing an Angelcard from Kimberely Marooney and Isadora Duncan dancers at Old Westbury gardens from Lori Belilove and the Isadora Duncan Dance Company in New York City,

DEVELOPMENTS

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I have had the pleasure to feel the presence of an angel a couple of times this past two months when I am rested. It’s a little girl that protects my energy, cheers me up to make me smile, asks me to hurry or to wait a little by invisibly sitting on my head (except in church where she was pulled up). She teaches me in spirit to handle my money better and think about what I need to change to be a good mother. All what we do is often out of habit, that so many take for granted or not even consider how it must change, because it happens incrementally and naturally giving birth. But what if we suddenly have to assume the role of motherhood to someone else’s children? Would I walk the same pace or buy the same things at the grocery store? It must be practiced or at least be made aware of, which is what I am trying to do when I am not being stalked. (And I so love noticing how kids often come up to me or curiously look my way when I am in the store or at the subway, as if to find someone to dance with.)

When I grew up, I did consider adoption in some form to be my priority to ensure that the children already here on Earth would receive what they need first. Not ruling out having my own though, safe away from Sweden.

Many things are taught to us in spirit if we are open to it. It can be little reminders of how our parents or grandparents used to do things, teachers or ministers and healers, and of course God and Jesus through the Holy Spirit. This is what we call inspiration. We then apply it to our current situation or wish with our own ideas and preferences, and hopefully merge the old with the new to create a better understanding and enable evolution to take its course step by step.

We do this by taking a breather and re-evaluate our direction as well as our communication. When a new generation is formed, what happens to our own assumptions of how we think we are perceived? What if children starts reading my blog? Have I ever considered that? No, not really, since they are not my target group. Unless I change that and make new plans. So, which plan is the right one to follow?

What if the only thing you need to know about following God’s plan is this: just be a good person. We are here to learn to love oneanother and create Paradise together. Everything else is up to us, to choose to be where, when and how with our free will. We will be naturally drawn from time to time to be at a specific location at a specific time, in order to be that good person to someone else. So then, we make our own plans. At best we feel supported to follow through on what we set out to do, but often there will be obstructions and changes. All these changes happen due to recent developments.

A development always imply a change. Developments can be positive or negative to you. It can be something personal or in your immediate community and organization. Or it can be worldwide or within a nation for example due to climate change, conflicts or new directives from authorities. Therefore each day we must be awake to our surroundings as well as our own needs and wants, synch them together or move to better pastures. And companions.

FOOD MARKET

Late last night, I had been sitting by my computer to do some writing and was feeling tired but still wished that I had went out for a nice walk in the warm evening, so I did.

Since I already had a piece of apple that day and some leftover lettuce leaf, I brought that with me and felt intuitively inclined to walk on the right side of the big road behind my house. I dropped my little scrap close to a bush on the ground, hoping a bunny would find it. Just as I had entered the decided path, a young seagull sat on a lamp post directly in front of me, crying loudly alone. I walked passed it. Close by I saw two cans for paid recycling and thought to myself that must be my payment for providing food and picked them up, yet startled with a little bad conscious and feeling frightened to not have brought the lettuce and apple with me for the seagull, so I walked back and got it while it circled over me a little and followed me along the way a block. Then it disappeared.

Later before I went to sleep, I also thought it could just be God wanting me to eat and go to sleep earlier of course, exhausted as I am of all the setbacks that seems to occur right when I start recuperating.

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This made me wonder how much it is our responsibility to share food, to whom, how, where and when, which is the real question for the world.

BACKDROP

The setting we are in enforces and provides stability at best for the drama we act on our stage. Often Isadora Duncan used Greek mythologies and its design for her inspiration. Here in Sweden, Greek influences in architecture can be seen a little here and there.

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My historical inspiration in this retrospect, comes more from the Roman-Catholic side, where I have visited Rome with my father and brother and taken Latin in High School. It was also then, my boyfriend like to resemble me with Minerva, the patron goddess of state, education, craft and medicine, whereas my mother was more into Greece and acting as Hera on stage. Within this, we find access to sacred power and reverence.

THE ROSEPETALS

I felt really moved by this particular dance with Isadora Duncan choreography, called “The Rosepetals” the first time I tried it in 2014 at a dance class for Kathleen Quinlan. I hadn’t even heard about it, less danced it when I for example did the photo shoot on Oahu for my book “The Call for Divine Mothering” in 2010, but as so often in life, one thing leads to the other, developing our seeking and finding into more. This is why it can feel like magic! A rose to me simply symbolizes love, which is why I had a small one tattooed on my upper arm in 1993, to always remind myself to believe in love.


Here is me practicing this dance in Stockholm, although with petals from tulips this time. To me dancing “The Rosepetals“, besides the original interpretation and purpose, enable us to pick up the torch and carry on with Isadora Duncan’s mission with our next.

MY PERSONAL JOURNEY

I have always loved writing a diary and started my first at the age of 7. It had the cover of blue velvet and held things about what was for dinner, what I had received when had gone out shopping and what was done in school. I simply continued throughout my life, adding notes about my feelings and relationships, it became a tool for self-discovery and understanding which has enabled me to improve and share my lessons. Meeting other people often provides us with much inspiration and friendships that becomes the water for our seeds to grow. Here is a link to my first book in English with color photos about my life in Honolulu and Malmö where I grieved the passing of my mother, found my passion and defined my life purpose:

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You can also read more about me on my personal webpage here.