Defining the new normal

Across the social media sea, talking about the current changes we are going through collectively due to the spreading of the Covid-19 virus, as becoming “the new normal” seems to be spreading as much. Is that how we want it?

When we are forced to cope with unforeseen stress during a longer period of time, we still have to remember that it’s temporary coping, or we will all fall prey to victimhood. The right way to think about it, is rather “right now”. Right now we have to wear masks and keep a distance. If these are scary times for you, please remember what you don’t need to change too.

And of course, this can also be an opportune time to do a change that you have procrastinated about doing. It’s all about what we are letting become a habit and how we approach what we are doing.

What is the emotion you are feeling when you are doing dishes? Happiness? Anger? Doing something mundane also provides you with a choice to practice mindful presence, ie become aware of what you are doing and either try to remain neutral with an absolut focus on the doing, or change your emotion with thoughts and perhaps music. How does loving doing dishes feel?

When it comes to creating new habits and routines, remember that it’s said to allow for at least 21 days of practice before it can become a habit.

I live my life both with coping with other things, besides Covid-19 restrictions, and there inbetween trying to improve my habits, but I think 28 days is more reasonable to have as a measure, at least for us women with our cycles.

So, what is your preferred normal? That is the real question you need to ask yourself and discuss! How can you start creating that instead?

If you’d like to bounce your thoughts off me as your sparring-partner, I’d be happy to coach you!

The development of dancing

I’ve been thinking of Luigi recently. Why is that? He developed a technique for jazzdancers that I practiced in my 20’s, in Lund, Sweden.

Today, when I practiced Isadora Duncan dance technique, it struck me, it must be where Luigi got it. How we do leg-swings, smearing the floor for foreover recovers, and more. Maybe it’s even her spirit that lived on with him after his traffic accident, the same way she died? Is it how we continue a message after our death?

The way I have to use my upper body with Isadora Duncan dance technique not only supports a better posture, but enables me to feel the difference in how I can express myself gentler, softer, lighter and with more femininity. Expanding and expressing, rather than shrinking and suppressing, dancing enables the becoming of me. Moving with earth.

We maintain what we learn by keeping it the same, upholding a standard. It’s an exhilirating experience, based on a connection through generations, just like Hawaiian Hula and WestAfrican dance also is taught.

Moving along.

Perfecting the pose

While yoga is an older practice than dance, yoga practitioners can still learn from dancers, just like we make good use of yoga, for example how to perfect a pose. Here are some pointers:

Where do you have the weight? On one side more on the other? On the front of you foot or on your heal?

Where are you looking?

How are your feet aligned?

Are the palms of your hands facing up or down, or in a mudra?

The more flexible we become, the more conscious effort we must make to engage our muscles. Even if we can rest comfortably in the “Swan”, we can also push and pull ourselves into more strength.

This awareness then becomes both a practice of mindful presence, and creating more centeredness together with right breath.

Every dance and yoga practice holds the opportunity to improve. It’s how we grow!

The bad potato

We can’t always tell by the skin of the potato if it’s going to be good or bad to eat. Even if it’s firm and look like the others when we buy it, it can still be bad in part on the inside. We just have to boil it and see.

It was also a case of a bad potato when I was about 14 years old, that became the lesson to what to be allowed to say no to, regardless of who gave it.

I used to have problem eating and my parents would stress and scream at me to finish the plate, even if I felt ill. They thought I might be anorectic but I never once wanted to be so skinny, rather the opposite since I have a small chest, that I felt (and heard) were too small. When I look at old photos, I can see how happy and healthy, and even a little chubby, I looked until I turned six years old.

What happened?

The stress by our dinner table (and the school cafeteria) became unbearable, but I survived on chocolate and cookies inbetween.

During spring in 8th grade, I lived on my school counselor’s big dairy farm for a couple of months instead, while my parents were getting a divorce. It was always peaceful and nice to eat with her family, even with simpler dishes, and she taught me how to say a children’s evening prayer and to drink hot water with much sugar in, that she called “Silvertea” when I was feeling ill.

One day when I was sitting at the table trying to eat all, Gunnel looked at my food and noticed how one of the potatoes were bad and told me to not eat that, and that I can always say no to that.

Years later, it struck me that I wanted to say no to many things at home, but never felt safe to.

Anyhow, not having money makes it equally bad and hard to say no, because then what if I won’t have anything to eat? Or someone tries to stop me again from, whether by screaming at me or shortages caused by delays? We still have to be allowed to say no, and respected when we do. And choose what to buy.

It took a couple of bad potatoes during spring here in Portugal, to be reminded of that.

Less labeling, more friendships – How to create more equality:

First of all, not everybody wants an equal society out of fear of loosing their own status, money, job and/or power. And within this lies the greatest challenge which is daring to believe in the access to a good life for everybody. If this is possible in a hierarchical eco-system that we humans also are part of? But please, let’s assume we have enough for everybody.

There are two ways of creating more equality. One is to integrate and blend more, focusing on what unites us as humans and our inherent equal worthiness. The other way, is to differentiate and separate more, by deliberately grouping people based on the culture of a specific group they feel at home with. Not because we tend to flock out of fear, but as an actual choice that is supported by the ruling government officials.

But either way, becomes a matter of comparisons. What have we learned about that? And what about our needs? We all have them, they are essential for all humans, but not to the same extent, at the same time, or how. They must always be individually assessed and are always depending on the environment we live in (besides what we would like).

So, back to the flock.

The only way to create positive change in society ground up, is through individual choices and personal relationships. The slogan for living more sustainable is applicable also when we refer to races, gender and sexual orientation: Think global, act local! You can’t have a personal relationship with everybody everywhere or relate to, but you can with someone where you already live. How you treat someone might spread, but it’s not about how you have to treat everybody in the whole world, because it’s always a matter of how you are treated yourself too. It’s always right with compassion and respect.

Strike up a conversation with someone new that looks different than you. Get to know him or her on a personal level, whether as a friend, co-worker, teacher or student. And whether for work or school, sports or going shopping:

Unless we are going on a date, I don’t need to know who you have sex with. But you can share who you love…

Unless we are going to church together, I don’t need to know if you rather prefer a mosque. But you can share if you like to worship…

Unless your history is stopping you from moving forward with your life, I don’t need to know what you’ve been through. But you can share how you feel…

What you believe in, what you like and don’t like, and how, is where we meet, especially if we both have the same problem that needs to be solved, focusing on how to.

And, refer to the other on a first name basis!

(I’m currently staying in a hostel apartment with an older white man from Germany and a younger black guy from Portugal. They argued with each other so much the caretaker had to come, but they stopped when I reminded them that we should use first names when referring to oneanother and focus on logistics.)

I have a Swedish and American Professional certificate in Organizational Change and have worked as a Copywriter. Feel free to contact me for more ideas, including leading creativity discussions for small groups with a coaching approach, at your workplace or university.

Lives matter

Every time you assert the minority category you belong to, you will strengthen that differentiation. So, if you introduce yourself as: “Hi, I’m …. and I am gay.”, it implies that it’s the most important thing to you, that it’s what you want me to remember you for, or even that you want to be greeted and addressed based on the label. It’s the same with black Americans, it seems.

And while I am not opposing that we live in a white male patriarchical society, ie that it is founded by white men that thereby set the standards from which we all evaluate everything, I oppose your problem with it. Just hand it over. Let them deal with it.

I need a man to deal with my problems in Sweden, since the political correctedness and overall cautiousness results in nothing. I have to scream and shout to get anything done, and have had to, for more than a decade. I need a man who can take that fight for me, or simply will not need to, since he will be met differently. My grandfather, who worked as a firechief for 50 years, used to say that women simply have less lung-capacity than men and therefore should avoid becoming firefighters. No need to argue with that.

What are black people especially good at? Why is this looked down on? And does my life matter less because I don’t want to have a black American boyfriend? Or constantly would compare it with African Germans or African Portugese?

I did have a relationship with an African American man. And it was my own fault, because I thought it was cool to have sex with a black guy, after my mother had died and I went to Hawaii in 2004 and 2005.

I was asked out the first time in the United States by a black guy on an airplane between Zürich and Miami in 2002. He called a couple of days later and we went for a drink. Maybe it just became a continue with another person in 2004. And we get what we look for, based on the assumptions we have, prejudice can become racism in action.

But did I want my ex to go after me in 2010? No, I didn’t. And how extremely upsetting it was to hear his black friends wanting us to be together, when I regretted it in the first place because I was never in love with him, but wanted to be nice and give it a chance in 2005 after we met in 2004, just like I was nice in 2010 and went on a date with him again. But, maybe I need to become a bitch to get my no across?

That however, doesn’t exclude my compassion and human support. He told me early on that he didn’t want to hold my hand in public in Honolulu, or even walk close next to me, because then he could be arrested by the cops. For nothing. And I could never understand that since it’s “a black thing”. Other terrible experiences include an “encouraged” vasectomy when he was drafted. And as terrible it was to learn about that, and of his deployment and PTSD, do I want to deal with any of it?

No, I don’t.

I want to love, live and hold hands without having to care about anything more than my own feelings, and the guy’s that I have by my side.

I have grown up with a bestie in Swedish daycare, who is a mulatto. I have danced African dance and I have had a British black Modern dance teacher. I know another American black guy from NYC who is gay and lives in Sweden, and an adopted black Swedish Muslim black guy in Sweden through the advertising industry, and a black guy from Canada in my Bible study group whose financial assistance helped me survive 2019, just like an American Muslim black guy did in 2011 in Hawaii, besides a black woman from Alabama who preached the Bible in Honolulu together with her grits 24/7 in 2010, and another black woman who survived 9/11 in NYC in 2005 sharing her story, friends with my ex. Do I need to keep account?

Can we not just dance and let all our lives matter?

Second photo from the anti-racism campaign in the 1980’s, meaning: “Don’t touch my friend.”

Dust to dust

Since my mother passed away on June 10th, I’d like to commemorate her, parallel to the celebration of Corpus Christi in Portugal, and share how I synthesize my beliefs.

During the spring, we talked about her funeral and I said that I would think of her when I see a sunflower, as the eternal eco-system of dust to dust becomes fertile soil, it’s how our bodies can live on, I believe.

After I looked up “The Feast of Corpus Christi” that is celebrated the day before yesterday in Portugal and new to me, I made my own conclusion based on my personal experience. It is said that Jesus is actually part of the oblate and the wine. Grown into? Blood as love?

I believe that the presence of Jesus is by his light and his spirit in the phrases he has shared with his disciples, as described in the Bible. He is present there.

The communion represents the union between his body, love, soul and the Holy spirit; the same union, I believe the original yoga practitioners were striving for, with some positions that also are prayers. When we experience our own inner union, we can experience joy. It’s this path that is the healing of the soul with our body as the instrument, that I am on and will describe further in my next book.

The mind is the trickster, where we can become lost in knowledge.

Through the presence of the Holy spirit, we can become whole, and do all things through Him. It’s a blessing we can perceive and experience with both inner and outer results.

When we write with the Holy spirit, when we put our heart and soul into a creation, you will feel it when you read it. It comes alive again, sensing our voice.

By staying true to our own learning, we can thus forward how we apply and understand it all, our beliefs, in our own lives. And deaths of loved ones.

What do you believe in? We will have discussion groups at Telluselle Living Center!

The time of my life

One of the areas, a professional lifecoach works with, is helping the client to improve their time management. It wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t work on my own first. We can handle it in two ways:

1. Focus on the order to do things.

2. Focus on when to do what.

In a normal life, we have collective routines set in place to both enable, and control, that this works with anything from paying our bills on time to when we have lunch.

How can we ensure that this is supporting the kind of life we want, when others stop us by refusing to do their part, even as their duty?

We can only follow the sun and the moon and adjust accordingly to get our needs met. If you ruled out the rules of society and prioritized the natural laws, how would your life change? Most of all, how is what you are doing, either enabling and respecting other people’s needs, or are you hindering them from being on time? What can you shift in your thinking?

For many years as a young adult, I struggled with getting up in the morning. The last decade, however, I realized and decided to instead focus on when I can go to sleep. What do I need to be able to sleep well, and how long? In my case, having eaten well, paid my rent and not being cold, is crucial, and preferably sleeping alone in the room, without anybody going in when I’m not there, which really should be evident. This is called external factors.

Internal factors, are the mental and emotional stress we feel, such as unresolved issues with others that directly impact our ability to live a balanced life, including sleeping enough uninterupted.

Who can you contact today to try to either solve a problem, or stop being one harming another person?

Only the sun rules!

Freedom isn’t free

When do you feel free? To me it can be cantering with a horse on an open field, to dance it all out on a club, or of course to leave Sweden and enter a new destination. Travelling is freedom.

But what is freedom really at home? It’s to have a home where nobody intrudes, where I can speak my mind freely, whether orally or in writing, without neither repurcussions, nor being stalked or slandered. It’s simply being free from oppression.

In Sweden, I am not free. In 2007, the Swedish state health agency Försäkringskassan revoked my sick compensation because they thought my blogging should have to be stopped. Blogging that I have never been paid for, then in Swedish, including sharing my health challenges. We were a couple of people commenting on each other’s blogs to support each other, and it was thanks to that, I was offered a temporary lease to another apartment when I lost my own, due to said revocation. Thank God! I appealed and reported it. Nonetheless, even with witnesses and physicians notes, and bankstatements, I was assumed cheating. I later learned that it was someone reporting his suspicion with his false assumptions.

If this is my Swedish freedom, what is it then I’m supposed to defend?

Without income nobody can feel free, since it’s the foundation for making a choice. Freedom of choice, freedom to choose what to eat, where to sleep and with whom, freedom to talk about my dreams, freedom to apply for jobs and go to one, and freedom to express myself. Freedom to try to be and do my best. Nothing ever possible without money, that the Swedish state is hindering me from making.

Protecting our space

The body of the land is like an extension of our physical body. We inhabit both with our spirit, personality and soul. And together with others we create a culture that is both the result of, and the making of, the rules we live under and steer how we interact, within our shared space.

Protecting our space is therefore a question about how we enforce our personal boundaries and our country’s borders. Sometimes we like to get help from our neighbors, sometimes it’s a global question. What we must protect ourselves from, is both the enemy within and the enemy coming from outside. How much help do we need from others to do so and can even that help become a threat?

When I hear about how my American girlfriends have had to send out their sons into deployment, it saddens me. Likewise, I wonder with what right the United States claims right to have a presence in any other country than within their own territories.

Here in Portugal, there is an academy for Nato communications, close to where the original telegraph was first invented and used between Britain and Portugal. Naturally, as a peace-lover, I’m primarily against military presence, but if the police isn’t warding off intruders, who else can? It should however be evident that any foreign country’s military base should never be allowed to be present unless called for by the citizens, but rather Nato’s presence perhaps, or any other alliance’s.

If the Swedish police and courts can’t stop my stalker from intruding, and stop the contineous thefts and sabotages by others for more than ten years, meanwhile refusing me monetary assistance and compensation, who then can, how and where? If the Swedish media refuses to publish information about this, for the Swedish people to discuss it, who then has become a greater enemy than the stalker?

If only one country goes against another, it becomes a conflict. If several countries, such as the United States, Germany and Portugal goes together, it will become a matter of questioning the decisions by Sweden, on behalf of my Human Rights, based on evidence. That is what I want.

Why is it even a question to allow me to have a home, eat, work, pay my bills and live a normal life?

The gift in dancing

The last couple of weeks, I have started practicing Isadora Duncan technique through online classes taught by Emily D’Angelo. And a couple of days ago, while I was dancing polka the Isadora Duncan way, I heard my own little bubbly laughter emerge again from within, not the normal kind of laughter because I’m tired or because of what I or someone else has said or done. But a laughter so precious, I can only recognize it as cooing, that I’ve only heard myself once having last summer here in Portugal in a swimmingpool.

Through skipping in a certain rhythm and finding myself capable to let go into the specific style doing it right (I hope), it enables me to feel joy. What a gift that is! I simply start smiling spontaneously.

Each dance style has provided me with a specific gift, or focus. The reward of each practice is simply how it makes me feel during, and after, a class. This has to do with both the nature of the movements, and the music. And expressing the purpose of the choreography.

African dance liberated my body and is great for a good physical workout with forceful gestures, going all out, with grounding root energy – opening.

Hawaiian Hula made me more in touch with my connection to Mother Earth and caring for myself and others with a greater sense of heart energy – embracing, and smiling for stage, found with love.

Isadora Duncan dance makes me feel in touch with the airy and light side of life, too with its own set of motions, where I get to use my body in new ways – expressing myself and smiling from within.

I can’t see it as anything more than the highest form of healing for me, in direct communion with spirit. A union between music and movement.

Photo of me doing an attitude from last summer, to become improved.

Sacred circles for speaking

There is nothing more important than to hear others and be heard. It is through active listening without prejudice AND active speaking about what is important to us, we not only grow in understanding but also heal and can move forward with our own life.

Therefore, sacred circles for speaking, will be at the heart of Telluselle Living Center, besides barefoot dances, qigong, meditation and organic beauty treatments and healing. The sacred circles will be of various types: Some to support a common experience or need, some to explore personality traits and expression, and some to discuss societal changes.

Together we define our own set of values and try to apply them in our daily lives, whereupon our successes and failures can be shared and discussed.

This type of Lifecoaching will be led by me and others, certified according to ICF’s standards, both for these groups, and for one on one sessions.

Contact me if you want to try!

Shining in the mirror

How do we learn how to shine from within?

Through dancing Isadora Duncan, I have grown a greater awareness of my solar plexus, where the center of my personality is seated. Where joy is near and sincere.

Soul longs for freedom and space. The more I express my personality, the more it becomes safe at home with me. It’s also its need of expansion, that we need to acknowledge.

With a mutually respectful exchange and a sincere wishing well of each other, we can shine together.

To feel connected to our own inner sun, connected to the real sun, creates the foundation for a positive, lifegiving evolution, starting with our health.

Balanced by the sea.

Danced with spirit.

Protected by cork

What is put inbetween cork, is what becomes. Maybe it’s in the symbolism of wine, and in the metaphor of it as truth telling. Regardless, what I write in my notebooks with cork cover, becomes. I drew a little flag with my blue ballpoint when I first bought this one below. About six months later, I suddenly see how one of my photos of the sky and sea in blue, became exactly like that. We think something and then we create it, so what are you thinking?

Here in Portugal, actually already in 2015, I started writing diaries again in the same way I used to as a teenager and young adult. Within the scope of handwriting, I become closer to my own heart again, without necessarily thinking about it as a future blogpost, article or speech, although I sometimes scribble down notes about them too. In my diaries, in the language I use then, I can reclaim my own voice, reflecting it in a dialogue with the diary, often to release a burden, and sometimes finding an unexpected insight with what naturally develops that otherwise wouldn’t. As if our train of thoughts can be led with our own pens. That is the actual gift of journaling and keeping a diary. Sometimes it’s to create something, catching an idea and putting it on paper, to be able to keep the sentiment, to be able to express an emotion. And sometimes it’s to keep a log of what has been going on.

I have written diaries since I first learned how to write. It’s the most intimate of all our relationships.

Have you ever written without focus? Letting it flow without assignment and specified topics? In coaching, we use journaling as part of self-assessment and goal planning, learn to express gratitude or going into a topic of analysis. While this is good and useful, try also to set aside some time to just write it out what you’re thinking and feeling.

It’s your freedom!

Lighting up

We become, through the words we speak. We become, through the meetings we have. We become, when we see and are seen by the other. Most of all, we become, through being one with the light, so we can reflect it back.

Is this not, what is meant through the teachings of the old Testament, that the New Testament in the Bible is sharing? And are we not living the Bible like the neverending story?

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The same was in the beginning with God. All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life; and the life was the light of men. And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not. There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. The same came for a witness, to bear witness of the Light, that all men through him might believe. He was not that Light, but was sent to bear witness of that Light. That was the true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made by him, and the world knew him not. He came unto his own, and his own received him not. But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.(KJV John 1:1-14)

Every writer holds the power to create, so what are you creating? Life? Light? Love? Sharing?

And every time we talk, we have the power to ignite and sustain passion, when we speak the truth. To heal we must be allowed and respected to share not only our past truth but what we want to create. Are you allowing me?

When I came here to Portugal in 2015 to visit, it was to become baptised the right way with God.

Connected through history

I am not sure whether to refer to “my inner child” as a part of my soul, or as my spirit. My spark.

In my quest to heal, I did feel a calling to go to Portugal to find out, the first time in 2015. And now here again, since summer 2019. I was here as a young child.

What I do remember is a vague memory attached to a photo of me, as a toddler sitting next to a caught swordfish, with my grandparents from my Dad’s side, with me. Since the sword is a signicant symbol for my family and my grandfather collected antique sabels and swords, it feels fun with the swordfish. Perhaps it’s our “aumakua” the way Hawaiians put it, ie our guardian spirit for our family (My father has the photos but refuse to answer).

I have also realised that we were here BEFORE the Portugese revolution, that only cost them 4 deaths, their coup d’etat in 1974, which is of significance, since we the Charpentiers, once had to flee from the French revolution in 1789. Ironically, some nobles of other families fled to Portugal. Am I not here then to heal the need to flee? Or is it my destiny to constantly be chased, because of either my nobility, or my survival of the Polish action during WWII, through generations? Not to mention, that apparently a Eurovision song was the sign to begin the Portugese revolution, Eurovision as in the song contest using the theme intro, that my great grandfather once composed. I would rather ride a little dressage to that tune, to dance on a horse, a little like this.

I am refusing politics!

We were simply here on a week’s vacation in 1972, to enjoy the sun and the sea, the food and the sights, and the local culture. Like always!

To feel joy.

Half human, half divine

Are we not all half human and half divine? How does that look and come into play with our personalities and egos?

In my quest to heal myself, often with others’ help, I have discovered the difference by feeling and watching myself, and applying Hawaiian and New Zealand knowledge about how we have one side of the body corresponding to our father’s side and the other to our mother’s.

When I lay on my side, both in bed or on my yoga mat to sit up for my closing meditation, I’ve noticed the different feeling in my body between right and left side.

In some of my photos, my right side (eye) looks a little dead, provoked when I have to become angry to defend myself, but can often be revived by sunshine, dancing, playing and love. What sometimes happen, is that my mother’s spirit comes down to protect me from harm, since my Ego, ie my own protective shield has become too attacked and therefore I am fighting on an actual physical level of survival since several years against both stalking and the authorities not doing anything about that, requiring me to. It’s her I see sometimes in my right eye.

The Ego displays our personality and charm, I believe, which I hope I am able to show you in my other photos in this blog. My inner child expressed.

One of the women harming me, apart from being denied a substitute income or compensation by the Swedish state adding unnecessary stress, has taken away my soulpiece it seems, which you can see in some photos in her eyes. Also half, or not herself, not showing her own inner child.

It’s this I’d like to correct. What I have learned to practice in Portugal, is to call on my own energy back. And it’s here I found out that it seems like Jesus had the same division in his face, that was explained like this. But, wasn’t he harmed and had to fight for his survival too, ie not safe enough to heal his own inner child?

Creativity energy

In 2014, I came up with an idea on how to create an event at the Statue of Liberty in New York City, that I visualised in front of me as a celebration of victory and peace.

It’s designed to present the idea of securing one’s homeland with the different branches, representing the natural elements. Borders for protection but with freedom within, that I think Isadora Duncan also stands for, as well as Hawaiian Hula. What if the generosity and hospitality known of the United States simply is Hawaiian? Can you picture an enermous lei around the Statue of Liberty? Dances and orchestra, speeches and flags… I have my own choreography in mind.

The other day, here in Portugal where I currently am, where I also was in 2015 for a vacation and healing, I stumbled upon these monuments reflecting part of my idea, on my way to go grocery shopping for glutenfree products. This one made me wonder: Who does the Eagle belong to? 

These discoveries on my walk, to me is the result of the creative intention energy that wants to manifest. What if you could support me to go to the United States? Instead so far, one of the Swedish embassy workers in Lisbon, Cristina Xavier, insinuates that I am living here as a resident, that I had debts in July (when I had my own money through a nobility grant) on my vacation and that it’s my fault that others don’t pay for what have used by me, while I’m still stalked and sabotaged with intrusions and thefts, thus not helping me neither with money directly or helping me get some from another source. Again, I’m forced to beg on the street instead of working, whether back in advertising as a professional copywriter or as a career coach, or with organizational change consulting, or even simply standing in a store, for more than the last three years (plus five years in Sweden). Besides letting me being featured in the regular media, like I used to since growing up, both in Sweden and the United States, and sell my books with adjoining speeches, discussions and projects!

 

Changing perspective

We will always encounter people who we don’t like, or people who don’t like us. This always causes feelings of upset; anger, doubt or less self-confidence. To curb this both within yourself AND the other, own your thoughts and emotions.

First, you need to acknowledge what you feel and why.

Then, you define the problem and the desired solution. What would you like to be done and what can you do yourself? What does the other need to contribute with? Ask for that.

If the other is unwilling to, or simply refuse to answer, imagine all the reasons why. Is he or she feeling afraid of becoming exposed or ridiculed? Then your job is to ensure trust.

Is he or she coming off as a busy snob? Imagine the layers of insecurity that can lie beneath that surface. What if he or she is simply envious? What is it then that he or she needs him/herself? Isn’t that something to feel compassion for?

Relate the issue to your own experience, or perhaps to someone else’s that you know well, and find that place within, where you are the bigger person to forgive and let go. 

What is there about the other person that is good? There is always something good about every person and you can always learn something after any event. All you have to do is change your perspective. By choosing to look through a positive lens, this will take you to the next level of your own personal evolution and give you more freedom and sense of power!

Bereaved of joy

It was when I saw that glimpse of my own inner child’s light in the side rearview mirror in Hawaii 2004, when Jesse took me on a ride around Oahu, I realized how I had lost something.

We refer to babies as “bundles of joy”, or perhaps pets that we also can love unconditionally, but what if these are just outer reminders of what lies dormant within you, beckoning to be expressed?

True joy is never dependant on anybody else than yourself to experience, but we’re always interdependent. It’s this responsibility that I see many people refuse assuming, especially in the self-help business, where everybody just want to manifest money to themselves.

In a harsh world, we no longer are bundles of joy towards each other since we all fight for our right to eat, sleep and love. And sometimes that joy, inherent within our soul, flees, or is chased away, by evil tongues and acts, whether through our own or more likely others’ reckless behavior not considering the true vulnerability with which we live here on earth, where our lives can end in a split second.

Our soul is wisdom, our spirit is the spark in our eyes and our voice, that embodies passion. It’s this that constitutes our charisma, radiating when we are whole and coming forth when we get to do what we love with respect and support by others.

I felt I lost mine when my mother became terminally ill in 2003, but perhaps even before that, little pieces had left or become buried down. It’s this healing journey, I started to reclaim in late 2014, 20 years after it had been peeled off so much it had made me physically ill.

What do you win on bereaving me, yourself or anybody else of their joy? Would you have more of your own if you hinder others? What can you do instead to enable both yourself to feel joy, and others?