Tree meditation

I thought I’d share one of my favorite meditations to do outside. I started doing it in Sweden in 2008, as a way to release stress and recharge myself in a grounding way. Already in 1995, I learned about how some Native American tribes see trees as “The Standing people” with their own spirit and have often felt a certain type of peace when I go for my walks alone. I used to think of nature as my church.

While Buddha sat, I prefer standing:

Go for a walk in a park, or better yet, in the woods. Pick a tree and place your back against it as close as possible, so that you can liken your spine with its trunk.

Let any excessive energy, such as anger or frustration go down into the ground as if it was a lightening rod.

Take a couple of deep breaths with closed eyes and let yourself feel smaller than the tree. Imagine that the tree is older, wiser and both more stable and flexible than you are. Gently let this feeling fill you. And say thank you to the tree.

Your root-chakra grounding you with the roots, and your crown-chakra with the tree’s crown.

Open your eyes, stretch, and hopefully you will now feel refreshed!

Bathroom favorites

I started using body and haircare products, only made of biological ingredients in 2005, after becoming more concerned about both my own wellness and living more organic, after having to deal with blemishes and allergies for many years, and living in the special nature of Hawaii.

I have since tried several brands that are biologically produced, such as without parabens and other chemicals, whether cheaper and more available, like Urtekram, Lavera and Santé, but these however, remain my favorites! (For make-up, I prefer to use Jane Iredale):

It’s said that what ever we put on our skin or in our hair, should be what we also could eat.

Which are your favorites?

Get going with coaching!

To develop a more defined professional aptitude, ie get a good job that you like doing and/or will lead you to a better job, here are my assessment questions and examples, that I use in my career coaching to help you make an inventory of your credentials:

1. Find the common theme of your resume, or interests and major.

2. List your skills, traits and virtues according to:

* What do you know?

(Areas of expertise)?

* What are you good at doing and prefer?

(Oral or written presentations, take notes, keep things organized, make phone calls, answer calls, sell, sort, count, use your hands, follow up, plan, summarize, do research, write, programs, translate, clean, care for, listen to others, ask questions, look up things, analyze, create ideas, take initiative etc)

* How do you like to work? (Inside, outside, in your own office with closed door, in the same room together with others, regular day shifts or irregular, with travel, domestic and local, international or global, products or services, making, repairing or keeping, small groups or large, in person or online, leading or following)

* What is your personality like? (MBTI, intro/extroverted, style, dress code)

* What are your values and what do you advocate or would like to take a stand for?

* What do you want to, or need to, avoid due to your health or otherwise have a concern with?

* Do you have any special needs or requests for accommodation due to disability?

3. What would you like to learn and develop?

Contact me for a coaching session to get going!

Choosing perspective

Just like authors can tell a story from different characters’ point of view, we too can choose perspective when we engage in discussions about a certain topic.

Often a certain opinion becomes lifted as the “right” one because of the many likes it gets, or because the one saying it is famous, ie has many followers. Do you dare go against it? What do you really think?

To make it even more creative, you can choose the perspective, the approach, to a discussion on purpose. This opens up for less prejudice and less bullying, and at best can open up for more solutions. It’s also how we can encourage reconciliation and peace in agreement.

Next time you read an article about a hot topic, try seeing both sides.

If you see that someone could be threatened, you can choose to take the lead on that lurking threat by taking over their opinion to a certain degree, and thereby own the threat that therefore won’t be carried out. Taking the lead including with someone else’s criticism, enables us to take power over it.

Now, add your own real opinion!

Defining the new normal

Across the social media sea, talking about the current changes we are going through collectively due to the spreading of the Covid-19 virus, as becoming “the new normal” seems to be spreading as much. Is that how we want it?

When we are forced to cope with unforeseen stress during a longer period of time, we still have to remember that it’s temporary coping, or we will all fall prey to victimhood. The right way to think about it, is rather “right now”. Right now we have to wear masks and keep a distance. If these are scary times for you, please remember what you don’t need to change too.

And of course, this can also be an opportune time to do a change that you have procrastinated about doing. It’s all about what we are letting become a habit and how we approach what we are doing.

What is the emotion you are feeling when you are doing dishes? Happiness? Anger? Doing something mundane also provides you with a choice to practice mindful presence, ie become aware of what you are doing and either try to remain neutral with an absolute focus on the doing, or change your emotion with thoughts and perhaps music. How does loving doing dishes feel?

When it comes to creating new habits and routines, remember that it’s said to allow for at least 21 days of practice before it can become a habit.

I live my life both with coping with other things, besides Covid-19 restrictions, and there in between trying to improve my habits, but I think 28 days is more reasonable to have as a measure, at least for us women with our cycles.

So, what is your preferred normal? That is the real question you need to ask yourself and discuss! How can you start creating that instead?

If you’d like to bounce your thoughts off me as your sparring partner, I’d be happy to coach you!

The development of dancing

I’ve been thinking of Luigi recently. Why is that? He developed a technique for jazzdancers that I practiced in my 20’s, in Lund, Sweden.Today, when I practiced Isadora Duncan dance technique, it struck me, it must be where Luigi got it. How we do leg-swings, smearing the floor for foreover recovers, and more. Maybe it’s even her spirit that lived on with him after his traffic accident, the same way she died? Is it how we continue a message after our death?

The way I have to use my upper body with Isadora Duncan dance technique not only supports a better posture, but enables me to feel the difference in how I can express myself gentler, softer, lighter and with more femininity. Expanding and expressing, rather than shrinking and suppressing, dancing enables the becoming of me. Moving with earth.

We maintain what we learn by keeping it the same, upholding a standard. It’s an exhilirating experience, based on a connection through generations, just like Hawaiian Hula and West African dance also is taught.

Moving along.

Perfecting the pose

While yoga is an older practice than dance, yoga practitioners can still learn from dancers, just like we make good use of yoga, for example how to perfect a pose. Here are some pointers:

Where do you have the weight? On one side more on the other? On the front of you foot or on your heal?

Where are you looking?

How are your feet aligned?

Are the palms of your hands facing up or down, or in a mudra?

The more flexible we become, the more conscious effort we must make to engage our muscles. Even if we can rest comfortably in the “Swan”, we can also push and pull ourselves into more strength.

This awareness then becomes both a practice of mindful presence, and creating more centeredness together with right breath.

Every dance and yoga practice holds the opportunity to improve. It’s how we grow!

The bad potato

We can’t always tell by the skin of the potato if it’s going to be good or bad to eat. Even if it’s firm and look like the others when we buy it, it can still be bad in part on the inside. We just have to boil it and see.

It was also a case of a bad potato when I was about 14 years old, that became the lesson to what to be allowed to say no to, regardless of who gave it.

I used to have problem eating and my parents would stress and scream at me to finish the plate, even if I felt ill. They thought I might be anorectic but I never once wanted to be so skinny, rather the opposite since I have a small chest, that I felt (and heard) were too small. When I look at old photos, I can see how happy and healthy, and even a little chubby, I looked until I turned six years old.

What happened?

The stress by our dinner table (and the school cafeteria) became unbearable, but I survived on chocolate and cookies inbetween.

During spring in 8th grade, I lived on my school counselor’s big dairy farm for a couple of months instead, while my parents were getting a divorce. It was always peaceful and nice to eat with her family, even with simpler dishes, and she taught me how to say a children’s evening prayer and to drink hot water with much sugar in, that she called “Silvertea” when I was feeling ill.

One day when I was sitting at the table trying to eat all, Gunnel looked at my food and noticed how one of the potatoes were bad and told me to not eat that, and that I can always say no to that.

Years later, it struck me that I wanted to say no to many things at home, but never felt safe to.

Anyhow, not having money makes it equally bad and hard to say no, because then what if I won’t have anything to eat? Or someone tries to stop me again from, whether by screaming at me or shortages caused by delays? We still have to be allowed to say no, and respected when we do. And choose what to buy.

It took a couple of bad potatoes during spring here in Portugal, to be reminded of that.

Less labeling, more friendships – How to create more equality:

First of all, not everybody wants an equal society out of fear of loosing their own status, money, job and/or power. And within this lies the greatest challenge which is daring to believe in the access to a good life for everybody. If this is possible in a hierarchical eco-system that we humans also are part of? But please, let’s assume we have enough for everybody’s basic needs and only have to fight for a better life.

There are two ways of creating more equality. One is to integrate and blend more, focusing on what unites us as humans and our inherent equal worthiness. The other way, is to differentiate and separate more, by deliberately grouping people based on the culture of a specific group they feel at home with. Not because we tend to flock out of fear, but as an actual choice that is supported by the ruling government officials.

But either way, becomes a matter of comparisons. What have we learned about that? And what about our needs? We all have them, they are essential for all humans, but not to the same extent, at the same time, or how. They must always be individually assessed and are always depending on the environment we live in (besides what we would like).

So, back to the flock.

The only way to create positive change in society ground up, is through individual choices and personal relationships. The slogan for living more sustainable is applicable also when we refer to races, gender and sexual orientation: Think global, act local! You can’t have a personal relationship with everybody everywhere or relate to, but you can with someone where you already live. How you treat someone might spread, but it’s not about how you have to treat everybody in the whole world, because it’s always a matter of how you are treated yourself too. It’s always right with compassion and respect.

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Strike up a conversation with someone new that looks different than you. Get to know him or her on a personal level, whether as a friend, co-worker, teacher or student. And whether for work or school, sports or going shopping:

Unless we are going on a date, I don’t need to know who you have sex with. But you can share who you love…

Unless we are going to church together, I don’t need to know if you rather prefer a mosque. But you can share if you like to worship…

Unless your history is stopping you from moving forward with your life, I don’t need to know what you’ve been through. But you can share how you feel…

What you believe in, what you like and don’t like, and how, is where we meet, especially if we both have the same problem that needs to be solved, focusing on how to.

Refer to the new acquaintance on a first name basis. This way each person becomes the name, rather than the label.

And, focus on the common interest.

(For example: I’m currently staying in a hostel apartment with an older white man from Germany and a younger black guy from Portugal. They argued with each other so much the caretaker had to come, but they stopped when I reminded them that we should use first names when referring to one another and focus on logistics. Photo is from a couple of years ago from a dance workshop in Hawaiian Hula that I held in Stockholm.)

The time of my life

One of the areas, a professional lifecoach works with, is helping the client to improve their time management. It wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t work on my own first. We can handle it in two ways:

1. Focus on the order to do things.

2. Focus on when to do what.

In a normal life, we have collective routines set in place to both enable, and control, that this works with anything from paying our bills on time to when we have lunch.

How can we ensure that this is supporting the kind of life we want, when others stop us by refusing to do their part, even as their duty?

We can only follow the sun and the moon and adjust accordingly to get our needs met. If you ruled out the rules of society and prioritized the natural laws, how would your life change? Most of all, how is what you are doing, either enabling and respecting other people’s needs, or are you hindering them from being on time? What can you shift in your thinking?

For many years as a young adult, I struggled with getting up in the morning. The last decade, however, I realized and decided to instead focus on when I can go to sleep. What do I need to be able to sleep well, and how long? In my case, having eaten well, paid my rent and not being cold, is crucial, and preferably sleeping alone in the room, without anybody going in when I’m not there, which really should be evident. This is called external factors.

Internal factors, are the mental and emotional stress we feel, such as unresolved issues with others that directly impact our ability to live a balanced life, including sleeping enough uninterupted.

Who can you contact today to try to either solve a problem, or stop being one harming another person?

Only the sun rules!

The gift in dancing

The last couple of weeks, I have started practicing Isadora Duncan technique through online classes taught by Emily D’Angelo. And a couple of days ago, while I was dancing polka the Isadora Duncan way, I heard my own little bubbly laughter emerge again from within, not the normal kind of laughter because I’m tired or because of what I or someone else has said or done. But a laughter so precious, I can only recognize it as cooing, that I’ve only heard myself once having last summer here in Portugal in a swimmingpool.

Through skipping in a certain rhythm and finding myself capable to let go into the specific style doing it right (I hope), it enables me to feel joy. What a gift that is! I simply start smiling spontaneously.

Each dance style has provided me with a specific gift, or focus. The reward of each practice is simply how it makes me feel during, and after, a class. This has to do with both the nature of the movements, and the music. And expressing the purpose of the choreography.

African dance liberated my body and is great for a good physical workout with forceful gestures, going all out, with grounding root energy – opening.

Hawaiian Hula made me more in touch with my connection to Mother Earth and caring for myself and others with a greater sense of heart energy – embracing, and smiling for stage, found with love.

Isadora Duncan dance makes me feel in touch with the airy and light side of life, too with its own set of motions, where I get to use my body in new ways – expressing myself and smiling from within.

I can’t see it as anything more than the highest form of healing for me, in direct communion with spirit. A union between music and movement.

Photo of me doing an attitude from last summer, to become improved.

Sacred circles for speaking

There is nothing more important than to hear others and be heard. It is through active listening without prejudice AND active speaking about what is important to us, we not only grow in understanding but also heal and can move forward with our own life.

Therefore, sacred circles for speaking, will be at the heart of Telluselle Living Center, besides barefoot dances, qigong, meditation and organic beauty treatments and healing. The sacred circles will be of various types: Some to support a common experience or need, some to explore personality traits and expression, and some to discuss societal changes.

Together we define our own set of values and try to apply them in our daily lives, whereupon our successes and failures can be shared and discussed.

This type of Lifecoaching will be led by me and others, certified according to ICF’s standards, both for these groups, and for one on one sessions.

Contact me if you want to try!

Shining in the mirror

How do we learn how to shine from within?

Through dancing Isadora Duncan, I have grown a greater awareness of my solar plexus, where the center of my personality is seated. Where joy is near and sincere.

Soul longs for freedom and space. The more I express my personality, the more it becomes safe at home with me. It’s also its need of expansion, that we need to acknowledge.

With a mutually respectful exchange and a sincere wishing well of each other, we can shine together.

To feel connected to our own inner sun, connected to the real sun, creates the foundation for a positive, lifegiving evolution, starting with our health.

Balanced by the sea.

Danced with spirit.

Creativity energy

In 2014, I came up with an idea on how to create an event at the Statue of Liberty in New York City, that I visualised in front of me as a celebration of victory and peace.

It’s designed to present the idea of securing one’s homeland with the different branches, representing the natural elements. Borders for protection but with freedom within, that I think Isadora Duncan also stands for, as well as Hawaiian Hula. What if the generosity and hospitality known of the United States simply is Hawaiian? Can you picture an enermous lei around the Statue of Liberty? Dances and orchestra, speeches and flags… I have my own choreography in mind.

The other day, here in Portugal where I currently am, where I also was in 2015 for a vacation and healing, I stumbled upon these monuments reflecting part of my idea, on my way to go grocery shopping for glutenfree products. This one made me wonder: Who does the Eagle belong to? 

These discoveries on my walk, to me is the result of the creative intention energy that wants to manifest. What if you could support me to go to the United States? Instead so far, one of the Swedish embassy workers in Lisbon, Cristina Xavier, insinuates that I am living here as a resident, that I had debts in July (when I had my own money through a nobility grant) on my vacation and that it’s my fault that others don’t pay for what have used by me, while I’m still stalked and sabotaged with intrusions and thefts, thus not helping me neither with money directly or helping me get some from another source. Again, I’m forced to beg on the street instead of working, whether back in advertising as a professional copywriter or as a career coach, or with organizational change consulting, or even simply standing in a store, for more than the last three years (plus five years in Sweden). Besides letting me being featured in the regular media, like I used to since growing up, both in Sweden and the United States, and sell my books with adjoining speeches, discussions and projects!

 

Transforming our thoughts and emotions

A big part of Professional Lifecoaching is to enable different perspectives and growth opportunities for our clients to develop a plan to reach goals with, whether to improve a relationship, get a new job or take up an old hobby with better time-management. To find a new perpective requires the ability to dare to think creatively, and one of the cornerstones of increasing creativity is to dare to try to do the opposite. That is thus my foundation of what I would like to present.

How do we then transform a belief about someone or something? I believe that saying affirmations and wearing pretty quotes on the wall isn’t enough at all to create change. In fact, it might even create more emotional resistance, since what we are “supposed to feel” is often not at all what we really do feel. So, instead of merely focusing on changing our thoughts, I have come up with a series of examples a year ago on how to transform “bad” or “negative” emotions to something more positive, uplifting and caring, based on my own frustrating experiences where others have stalled solutions that I focus on. Something that also feels empowering to do – it’s the secret in itself – to act towards a solution and a change.

My hope is to help my readers and clients find their own examples to try and apply in their own life, whether by inspiration only, or through coaching sessions with me of course! I call this transformative coaching.

The emotions I aim to share how to transform, are:

Grief into Joy

Hate into Love

Self-doubt into Confidence

Guilt into Responsibility

Slander into Praise

Disbelief into Faith

Sadness into Gladness

Greed into Generosity

Despair into Hope

Fear into Trust

War into Peace

These are my pearls of wisdom to create more harmony in life.

Welcome!

Any change is an opportunity to improve. What if we now get a chance to create a more healthy and sustainable society together? What would such a society look like?

My ambition is to start a worldwide franchise called Telluselle Living Center where people can come together and discuss, try, and evaluate improvements of their lives and the life of their community, with focus on green health.

What does a good job look like and what is most needed in society? How can we ensure a fair and just agriculture with only necessary trade to lessen transports? How much electricity, gas and water do we need? Where and how do people want to live and why? Which specific skills can you use to serve the world with? The key to all this is to be centered around fulfilling your own needs and contribute to the fulfillment of others’ needs with a sincere belief in everybody’s right to be happy, healthy, whole and prosper. 

Through coaching, creativity workshops, qigong and dancing barefoot to increase flow and happiness, and the use of biological products in a supportive environment that encourages education and personal growth, we can solve these issues and create a model house, where we also find the space to develop a more consistant relationship with earth. In harmony with each other and earth.

And as shared in English on my webpages since 2009.

Getting to know your inner child

Your inner child is represented by the pure joy and wonder with which we are born into this world, whole and complete according to the beliefs of holistic healing.

To get to know your inner child thus, require a deep contact with your soul, your original self. To dare express that which lies dormant and true, aligned with the spirit that connects us with the whole, with God, soul with Mother Earth. A truth about who we are coming from insights, helped by our studies perhaps, but nonetheless emerging through our understanding of our own experiences. A feeling, deeper seated than the emotions our ego display to protect our self, or show off, leads the way.

We can loose a part of our soul, our inner child, through a trauma, ie an event that has been directly perceived as life-threatening. It’s a survival mechanism, to let that piece leave and not have to face the cruelty of man. And to be returned only with acceptance and care in a safe environment that we ourselves decide.

Finding this connection with our inner child can be done through various means like creative play, through art, sensual touch and flirting, sleep (met physical needs) and sunshine; an allowing of self to shine. Do you let others shine?

The path to joy

We are walking on a life path, it is said. Some of us walk on similar paths and this is what often creates conformity. When something happens that disrupts your walk, is when you have a chance to choose a new path or go back on the same. It should always be your own choice and this is why Professional Lifecoaching is such an important profession to enable empowerment and enmancipation. It is through falling prey, we get the opportunity to rise and break through the comfortzones of conformity. Leaving an abusive relationship in the 90’s became the beginning of my conscious ambition to heal. And going through the passing of my mother, became one of my open doors.

Experiencing joy in life is to me the ultimate healing and self-realisation. My path to joy, and how you can find your own, is what I’d like my third book to be about.

Going alone or with someone?

Ever since my first trip to Hawaii in September 2004 (or maybe even before that), I have been asked how I can go anywhere alone. Why not? The other day, when I was chatting with Tom Cruise (!), who is in Turkey at the moment, I was asked the same question about being in Portugal alone. Then when I answered him, the essence of it became so easy to say, that I’d like to share.

I am not free to be how I really am with my preferences and priorities, when I am together with the majority of my so called former friends. It has always been me that had to succumb to what others want to, and most times, yet by my initiative to meet. But why hold on to someone who never calls, unless I call first? Or don’t want to answer?

I recalled my first trip without my parents with friends in Europe. It was fun, but it felt like it was the same as home, just in another setting, without us really getting to know neither the place nor the people.

And how I felt later in the early 00’s, for example visiting San Francisco, Miami and New York City on my own, became the path towards an exhilirating freedom. When I was in California in the mid 90’s, on a job with a Swedish photographer’s assistant, it was pretty good, since I got to lead our work, similar to how I have led a group of about 40 young Nordic exchange-students across the Atlantic when I escorted them to, and through, their transfer in Chicago to their High School year abroad.

When it comes to studying abroad, should I have my Swedish girlfriends waiting for me outside the university? Or “approve” my dates first?

It’s about meeting me halfway and for me not to always have to sink down to match another person’s level, especially spiritually and creatively, or simply by interest. Would you have fun if you felt forced to go to clubs where you don’t like the music? Who could you meet instead if you go where you want? I did!

Many times, I believe, we get stuck in a pattern of holding power structures and unspoken hierachical levels also with our friends, that we either not mean any harm with or don’t see, or do know of. These have to be changed with mutual effort like within all relationships. Or we have to find new.

Meanwhile we can just live in peace alone.

Making it safe to change

How come we don’t always do what is best for us? In terms of improving our daily habits, it seems quite contradictory to do the opposite instead of following through. Yet perhaps the initiative is imposed on us by others or we have to remain doing something in order to cope. There are two things getting in the way for change:

1. Our own instant gratification over long term satisfaction: The reward of doing a change must become greater than not to. It must simply feel better.

2. Others’ behavior towards, or affecting you, whether predictably or not.

It is in the dynamics of the individual, organization (group) and society, changes take place. Some rushed through emerging trends, whether fear-based or fashionable, and some as reoccurring patterns that are cyclic and common for both individuals and organizations (groups). It was this that I studied at Malmö University and Hawaii Pacific University, so that I can both lead and coach others through change, preferably by your own initiatives that makes it more positive to experience.

How do we then create change? I have found that the energy that is needed is developed through friction evolving through a conflict, creating a need to move. A need to create something new. This why, in turn becomes the motivation to change.

To make change a positive process, it must yet feel safe to, such as with support and resources, starting with getting feedback on your performance. It’s what coaches can do best. What do you want to learn and change?