Celebrating sisterhood

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Happy International Women’s Day! Women have been treated lesser than men for centuries, even though we’re the gender capable of carrying a life in our wombs and giving birth. And even though, all men have needed their mother to love them. While I don’t mind that men take the fight for security instead of me, that we should be treated as equally worthy, shouldn’t even have to be an issue nowadays! But, instead of going on and on about how awful it has been and how much women have had to sacrifice in their pursuit of a career, in addition to keeping up their womanhood and beauty, I’m going to focus on the importance of sisterhood. After all, if we can’t show one another support and compassion, how could we ever teach men to?

Sisterhood to me, is to have in mind that the women around us, especially those we might be in a conflict with or don’t know so well, have too been discriminated against and treated poorly just like ourselves, or even worse. There is something sacred about recognizing our inherent worth as women together, without the competition, envy and gossip. It can feel so much more offensive, when a woman goes against another woman. A man might not know better or understand better or simply even be a lost cause (although I don’t really want to believe that), or just insecure about how to deal with his and our sexual desire. But that a fellow woman can’t respect another’s right to get her needs met, and be treated with dignity and respect, can only be because of two reasons. Either, she is more oppressed than you are, more institutionalized in the manner of taking on men’s bad ways of treating women and internalizing these ways into her own, becoming taught to, without awareness and discernment. Or, she is being evil. 

It’s so sad and annoying when women keep comparing themselves to others’ looks. I used to be a very skinny woman. My entire life, I’ve had to struggle to gain weight and could eat whatever I wanted and when, without ever, any of it showing. Meanwhile, many of my friends, and a fellow dancer in my early 20’s especially, would go through my cupboard and fridge in the kitchen to check what I was eating, while she struggled with bulimia thinking she could gain fellowship in gulping down package after package of ice-cream before forcing it up again. I would never. Outwardly, she was beautiful as a doll, with curly long hair and the perfect shape of her breasts and waist. She danced with both a charisma and a groove of her own added to the choreographies that she learned in a heartbeat. She always smiled and was friendly. Yet, she told me how much she hated herself and wanted to learn my secret… We watched the movie Thelma and Louise together, smiling towards one another when she drove me home afterwards. While I wish nothing but the best for her, our friendship ended, because in a way I was also envious of her, even though I knew it was partly a fake persona. I too wanted to be able to dance as well as she did, and not to mention to look like her. But was it then friendship, if we both were just envious of each other?

Fast forward some years, and I found myself in a much better position with girlfriends from various circles, rather than just hanging in one. This way, I had some from my teenage years, some friends from my time in advertising, and some from my university education later on. While there were certainly an element of competition among us sometimes, both in regard to men and to jobs, at least we were more colleagues than foes. I began to enjoy spending time more with those complimenting me with their knowledge and personalities, rather than just being with women who are more like me. I think we need both.

But, it wasn’t until I was living in Hawai’i, I really experienced sisterhood. Being detained for almost a year in a federal detention center among mostly regular Americans, that is, regular Hawaiians, in Honolulu, gave me respite and the position to both be helped and help others on their healing and personal growth journeys. By sharing our vulnerabilities in how we got to this place and why, we could develop a sincere compassion and respect. That doesn’t mean that we always agreed, or that there weren’t conflicts and fights, but no wonder in such closed quarters. We all were able to ask one another for forgiveness and to move on, as our masks peeled away. There is nothing stronger than when a woman stands up for another woman, against men. Here through, our bonds can solidify.

Perhaps, this is why I can’t stand the superficialities of Sweden any longer, where popularity and fame seem to drive everyone to be fearful of the ones who have more, rather than developing their own confidence and heart. Nobody daring to get to know someone for real. Then they miss out on the very core of the matter: The deeper the secrets we share, the deeper we can love. So, share!

Luckily, these dramas were also something Isadora Duncan understood and lived through, so now I can instead dance them. And we can of course look to find a woman that can be a good role model instead. When I grew up, I found that my step grandmother Hanna, was how I’d like to be. That is why I named myself Hannah, after her, who couldn’t conceive. My grandmother, who was my grandfather’s second wife, could turn any dish into a gourmet meal, saw and knit clothes that lasted for generations and made the best of raspberry jam! She also really cared for my grandfather, cared about me, and cared to look her best for us. What are some women qualities that you’d like to develop or already feel that you have and can be proud of? Who has been a female role model for you? Who is a woman you can honor?

What is endangered in your life?

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Happy World Wildlife Day!  We’ve just entered March and that means we’re slowly putting winter behind us, get more daylight in the northern hemisphere and entered the season of spring, and the natural element of wood, according to Chinese Medicine. Hopefully, this means that we’ll be able to see new sprouts, fresh vegetation and little flowers, bestowing us with their beauty. The birds will be singing a little louder and more, and we might get another storm, with lots of wind, necessary to blow away the winter. Luckily, I live across the street from a protected area of forest in Stockholm, Sweden, where I get to experience this firsthand, as well as encounter wild animals on a regular basis. I’ve seen beautiful butterflies swirling during summer, heard the woodpecker peck on trees, seen wild bunnies eat grass, squirrels collecting seeds, and on occasion even met various deer. Which are the animals, trees and flowers you see, where you live, throughout the year?

I’ve always been inclined to feel fascinated by wildlife. In fact, my very first word that I uttered was tiger in Swedish, – tiger – when I was a little girl travelling with my parents to India and Bangladesh. It was also there I pulled something that I thought was exciting sitting in a backpack of my dad… which turned out to be a giant Anaconda! Not surprisingly, my mother screamed and they quickly hurried away from the tree, where it had laid itself to rest on a branch. A snake that big, can pull up a toddler and squeeze it to death! Nonetheless, I still enjoy meeting animals in the wild.

When I lived in Hawaii for a couple of years, studying Organizational Change and learning to dance Hula, I became more aware of both endangered and endemic species and the importance of ocean health. I got to see the awake volcano on Big Island. Walking on lava is a sight I’ll never forget! Endemic, means that a species only can be found in that particular place. And endangered, means that it’s close to extinction, whether by natural causes, by changes in the environment or due to too much hunting by humans. 

Being aware of, and in tune with, wildlife, brings a better understanding of our own place in the eco-system. When we realize how we too are part of nature, wherever we live, it becomes easier to feel a sense of belonging and a sense of oneness with nature. I think, if by simply acknowledging how alive everything is in nature, it invigorates me and reminds me of my place in the eco-system and how much predator I want to be, as well as always being aware of that there are predators of much greater threat than I am. To know this within, is to recognize a power greater than us, which gives us a more humble perspective on life.

If we want to look at this as a life coaching theme, you can ask: What is endangered in your life? What is rare that you might have stopped doing without even noticing, because of time constraints or becoming too occupied with other things? Is that something you can take up and do again? Believe it or not, but dancing, almost became endangered in my life when I focused on making a career in copywriting in advertising in my late twenties and already had to accept that my knee injury both physically and emotionally impaired me from seeking a dance career. So, I stopped altogether for several years, except for occasional clubbing, which in turn brought me to long for more beats, which became drumbeats and taking up West African dance. Which I’m so glad I did, because dancing really brings me joy. It’s way too easy to become complacent and settle for mundane routines so much that we forget what really makes us feel happy and joyful! What is that for you?

Another question is: What would make you feel wilder? One of the founding mothers of Modern dance – Isadora Duncan – once has famously said: “You were once wild, don’t let them tame you.” By this, we can understand that there is a freedom in nature, especially when it’s undisturbed by humans, that we too belong to, and can feel and experience. We can look at the butterflies for example and let them inspire our dancing. We can bring with us our own memories of nature as inner images to soothe our souls and use in her choreographies. It probably is why Isadora preferred to be naked underneath her silk tunic and why she so eloquently understood and taught motions with a soft flow and light jumps, bringing joy. The same is true for Hawaiian Hula dance, where each hand motion corresponds to a description in the song’s lyrics often talking about a specific place or used as a metaphor for a relationship with their flower garlands. In yoga, some of the asanas are inspired by animals. And in qigong, many of the motions are meant to balance ourselves through our connection with the natural flow of energy, including that in nature. While it might be too cold to practice outside in March, you can still go outside and have a look with more presence and awareness next time you go for a walk. Are there any buds on the trees? When does the grass grow again? How is the season where you live? Realizing my identity as a being of nature and caring about it, is what brought me to change my name to Telluselle and to make it into a brand. If you want to support nature financially, I recommend checking out World Wildlife Fund, the WWF, which does a great job on a global scale. 

Get into the wild!

To listen to this blogpost as a podcast, find The Source Podcast on Apple, Spotify and YouTube.

What would you do if this was your last day?

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Happy Last day of February! Today, I’m going to offer you a theme of respecting time. And life! Here are two questions to work with for your personal growth and seeking of purpose.

We all know that February is the shortest month of the year with its only 28 days according to the Gregorian calendar. This was created in order to ensure an even count of sunlight days and moon risings, that aren’t exactly 24 hours every day, which therefor becomes a 29th day every four years. The next time we have such a day extra, will be in 2028, but I thought we could use this as a life coaching theme anyway today too. So, the first question is: What would you do if you had a day extra? A day extra, where you don’t have anything planned that you must tend to. Most of us, either must follow our schedules of work or school, or simply go about our days pretty much the same way anyway. In one way, this is good, because at the end of the day, the calendar is something man-made, that we need to function together in society and to sync ourselves with each other, to manage our trade and living. On the other hand, if we must live according to this calendar in the Western world, we might as well take advantage of it! So, what do you long for to do? Start by dreaming without limits. If you had all the resources available to you, what would you like to do? What is the feeling in this that you’re seeking to experience? What other things can bring about this feeling? What can you do with lesser resources? Dreaming like this, can help us expand our minds and open us up for receiving more or at least feel more inspired. Is there something you haven’t done for a long time, such as visited a museum in your own town, or snuck into a movie theatre in the middle of the afternoon? When can you do it?

The other way of looking at a short month like February, is to remember the fragility of life. We don’t know how many days we have left to live. Or how many days our loved ones have. On occasion, especially when I feel stuck, I like asking myself the question: What would I do if I only had three months left to live? What would you do if you only had three months left to live? This of course, is not exactly reasonable if you’re severely ill and can’t do much but rest, hope and pray. But the point isn’t to stress people dealing with life-threatening illnesses, but for us who don’t struggle with it at the moment, to always remember to respect and cherish both our own time on earth, and others’. 

So, after you’ve spent some time asking yourself what you would do if you only had three months left to live and therethrough realizing what is most important to you or what you really long for, that you should try doing as soon as possible, you can also think of how you relate to others. Are you respectful of other’s time on earth? Are you delaying, stalling, obstructing, hindering or even refusing closure with someone who needs it? And therethrough stopping that person from living a fulfilling life his or her last days? Who are you to do that? 

Here of course, it’s important to practice forgiveness, to see where you hold any grudges that you don’t want to carry anymore. To let go of them, forgive yourself and others, and ask to be forgiven as well.

It was when I asked myself the question what I would do if I only had three months left to live in 2008, that I felt my heart clearly say to go back to Hawai’i and see the people there again that I had gotten to know in 2004 and 2005. And what do you know, life offered me an unexpected opportunity to return a year later, which I did! Often, we’re walking on a path governed by “best practices” of the intellectual and logical kind, to be obeying citizens or obeying children still to our parents even if we have grown up and they might not have had our interests prioritized anyway. When the path where magic happens, is the path of the heart! Dare to tune into yours. Write it down in a journal or say a prayer to God or Universe. Then see what happens! You might get suddenly inspired to do something that will lead you toward your heart’s deepest longing. Have you tried?

What does a horse represent to you?

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Happy Chinese New Year!  But why do I celebrate this, you might wonder?

I was first introduced to Chinese Medicine by a co-worker, when I received acupuncture to reduce stress and stomach issues in late 1994. In 1995, I began to practice Qigong and meditation, and talked regulary with a well-known master about life, love and spirituality. He shared the Chinese Zodiac with me, where I learned that I was born in the year of the Metal Dog and what this signifies.

Just like with Western Astrology, I emphasize looking at the various signs as various personality types, where some go better together than others and where all have various traits that we can learn about to help get to know someone better, rather than seeing it as superstitious predictions. Not surprisingly, I’m hence both loyal like a dog and persistent like sharp metal, which I think fits well with who I am.

My dad’s late wife actually studied Chinese and they made a longer trip there, so since then, the Chinese culture has somewhat evoked my curiosity. It was also the Tao the Ching and the teachings of Confucius that was part of my early spiritual seeking.

Last year, was the year of the Snake, which naturally meant to shed old layers of our lives, beliefs, habits, things and structures, as well as relationships.

In my own life, this for example, has meant to ensure that I haven’t acquired something that I don’t want to keep or bring with me. I usually give away, sell or discard, any items in my wardrobe that no longer fits me, are broken or worn out, or that I no longer like, regularly, which also makes room for new. This is also something I can apply to the rest of my home. And this is one of the principles of Feng Shui – another aspect of Chinese Medicine – a teaching about how one can organize one’s life, home and office to make the energy flow better, to feel better and to attract more positive things that one desires. This flow-chart represents the balance between wind and water and can be placed like a map on a room, apartment or house, where each direction represents an area in our life, as well as a natural element and color, as well as consider the actual location of where one lives. It’s this flow-chart or map, that is called a BaGua and is shaped like an octagon, that is the inspiration for the logo I’ve made for Telluselle Living Center. Practicing Qigong is built on the same principles but with our own bodies, meridians and energy field, to ensure longevity and good health. You can also apply this on the times of day and night for when certain of our organs work the best, and when to preferably eat and drink what and how, to feel better. For me, that means to avoid too cold drinks and fried food, and instead choose boiled and less spicy dishes.

And now it’s time for a new year! Our Western New Year on January 1st is typically a day when I set intentions and make goals after summarizing how my last year has been, but at the same time does happen in total winter darkness and often feels accompanied by our society’s stress, wherefor I like to see the Chinese New Year, that also is referred to as the Spring Festival, as a more relaxed opportunity to celebrate and cement my wishes and goals, hopefully in alignment with what it’s said it will bring. The key to remember, is that when many people believe in the same thing, or in the same power, it often becomes easier manifest, so why not take advantage of it as inspiration and good tidings to use for creating things that can benefit both myself and others?!

This year is the year of the Fire Horse – and auspicious for people like me who are born in the year of the Dog. It’s said that it will bring fast and swift changes, more momentum and more power and passion. You can use it as inspiration by thinking about what a horse represents to you. I used to horseback ride a lot growing up. For some 8 years I practically lived in the stables, riding, competing, cleaning and grooming horses, while both learning and teaching theory. I even began studying horse psychology on my own and practiced whispering to my favorite pony, which for example enabled me to not become bucked off for my first two years, and another time with his half-brother, I asked him to not run too fast over the obstacle course or I wouldn’t be allowed to ride him anymore. The next time, he was like a completely different horse, and I’ve never ridden better and got a ribbon.

To me, a horse is a steadfast companion but with a free will, symbolizing both freedom and personality. With that, I can focus on bringing forth more of mine, this new year! To perhaps claim more of my righteous space and time in the spotlight and to be more action-oriented in my approach and take practical steps to build my dream life. This is of course always depending on what others may or may not do as well, like decisions by lawmakers and authorities, but while having this in mind and be prepared, we can’t let governments rule our lives, they are supposed to serve us!

A horse is also very steady on the hoof through unchartered territories or wilderness, so making sure I know where I put down my feet, will probably become more important to consider with care, as I interpret it.

Which animal of the Chinese Zodiac were you born in? What does a horse represent to you and how can you incorporate more of that into your life?

The Chinese letters means Fu, as in wishing blessings for a prosperous year. If you’d like to try doing this lettering too, click here to see how.

Which level of attraction is more important to you?

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Happy Valentine’s Day! Whether you’re in a long relationship, a new one, or single, today’s is a good reminder to focus on love and what it stands for, for you. You can do this by inquiring yourself about what worked and what didn’t work in your previous relationships. Do you see a pattern? Is there something in your own approach or being that you can change to not attract the same if it’s nothing you want? It’s very common to settle for less and just be with someone out of our wish to belong and be accepted in societal norms, but this can be our egos talking more than actual love. More specifically, what is it that you think is important for a good relationship to be loving and satisfying?

I have during my own life concluded that we can attract people on various levels, that actually matches our different chakras. It’s through these energy centers we blend, attract or repel each other. Then, it’s up to us which levels we want or prefer and prioritize to build with and commit to, if we aren’t matching on all of them. We rarely are. Or we are at first and then grow apart perhaps. Add to this the subtle, or not so subtle, differences between cultures and countries, languages and generations – no wonder love can be so complicated! 

How we become attracted and match another, depend on our situation and where and how we meet. But generally speaking, I’ve found that it’s on our four levels of physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual, that we either connect and develop our relationship, or have different types of relationships for the various levels, depending on what we’re seeking and what we’re focusing on. 

The physical level – is all about chemistry, that pull, that takes you almost through a screen or photo, or better yet, an exciting energy that flows between us when we meet. A yearning to touch and be touched. A level where our looks and charisma matter the most, and where our main goal is to have good sex. 

The intellectual level – is all about two minds connecting and sharing ideas and ideals, such as when we meet someone we study or work with. It can be a creative partnership, a mutually complimentary relationship where both bring their own specialties into the mix to make something better. Here the main goal is to understand each other and to be understood.

The emotional level – is all about growing our hearts towards one another and be allowed and encouraged to express how we feel and why. To learn how we become affected by what the other says and does, and vice versa. And to become aware of what triggers us and what is anchored in a past experience that might filter and alter our perception and reaction, in need to be dealt with and healed. To make this relationship work, we must feel that we share an equal openness and vulnerability to not become fastened in positions of dominance and powerlessness. At the emotional level, our goal is to feel connected.

The spiritual level – is grounded in sharing our beliefs and faith. This doesn’t mean that we must belong to the same church or even religion, but if we are to morph into a healthy relationship on this level, we must at least share morals and values. That can be where we stand politically on various topics, as well as how we look at the world and other people. This is the level, where most dealbreakers are. It’s hard to grow together and work towards creating a mutually satisfying life, if we’re not agreeing about the fundamentals of how a good society should look like. The goal on this level, is to become joined under a higher power.

The most gratifying relationships are the ones where there’s a constant dynamic and flow, where each level corresponds and intertwines with the other person’s. However, we have many types of relationships and sometimes there is a relief in it only being an intellectual kind or perhaps a kind based in church and nothing else. The most important thing is to make it mutually matching so that neither person feels that he or she has to give in or suppress any of the four levels. Can you think of people in your life that you have right now, or have had, that fits on the physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual levels? Is there someone fitting on more than one?

If you’d like to learn more about my own personal examples from both Sweden and Hawaii, you can find several in my first book. The first book is called “The Call for Divine Mothering – applying the keys to paradise” and is about my grieving journey after my mother had passed away and I decided to examine and explore love, which became both deeper and broader than I expected. In my third book “The Call for Divine Harmony – finding pearls of wisdom”, my journey took me to Germany and Portugal, where I reconnected with my inner child and found joy again. I also defined more examples of aspects and virtues that I think are important. Both books can be found on Amazon and Kindle. And if you’d like to listen to this blogpost as a podcast, you can do so on both Spotify and Apple.

Take charge of the change!

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Happy Global Change Management Day! It’s said that the only constant is change. And the sooner we learn to roll with it, the sooner we can learn to accept and embrace our own evolution through the changes we are undergoing. It might not always be so easy, but if we start by acknowledging that change always happen, just like the seasons always change, we can be more prepared and welcoming. This is the key to letting go of some of the resistance and make the change go smoother.

We can divide changes into either changing something we do into something else, or changing how we do things. We can also divide changes into those imposed by others and those we take initiative to do ourselves. When others, whether our bosses at work, our teachers or parents or any other authority figure, demand us to change, the most natural and common way to react is by resistance. The way to deal with both your own resistance and others’, is to understand why the change is needed and what you can get from it. If you’d like to be more in control, see the change initiative as something necessary and turn it into your own project by offering ideas on how you can do it.

A simple example is this: You want your child to keep his or her room cleaner and tidier, at least once a week. Instead of refusing and getting upset at being told to, offer him or her the reins and ask what they can do differently that can help themselves. Can you offer more places for storage? Can you allow them to re-arrange their furniture? Can they make it a habit to hang in their clothes every evening and only take out those they’re going to wear the next day and get to decide that themselves? How will this make them feel? If you know that you’re going to nag on your child every Saturday, encourage him or her to take control and do it on Friday afternoon instead, perhaps with a little reward after. When we take control of a change, we feel more powerful and confident, and lessen resistance. Enable others to feel more empowered thus, help us get the change underway too.

Now, take this example into the workplace. Let’s say that your boss wants you to implement a new IT-system where your documents and cases will be filed every Tuesday after a mandatory meeting on Monday morning. Instead of procrastinating and becoming stressed out at the end of your workday Monday, take a pro-active approach by asking what the benefits are for the company with this new system. How is it better for the environment? Then it will be easier for you to understand your own part in it and how you can contribute to more efficiency, something that will make you into a more valuable asset, if you too become more efficient. If this for example enables you to handle more clients or gain better oversight over them you already have, you can enable the company to increase their quality and make more money. By keeping track of this on your own, you will have a good case for negotiating your salary 6 months or a year from now. And the thing you can do to alleviate your own stress, is to file those documents already Friday afternoon instead. That will free up your time and even allow you to help others too.

Regardless of the kind of change that is needed, understanding why it’s called for, what its purpose is, and what the desired result will be, enable you to better follow along, as well as to see how you can come up with ideas yourself for improvement. Perhaps you see a solution not tried yet, that you can propose for the management? Can you try it out with a co-worker first and then get your whole department on board? When we see change as something that will have a positive outcome, whether that is to learn a new set of skills and perform better, or even to see why you might need to change your job instead or even your profession entirely, becoming a change leader, is the sure way of working with your own best interest at heart first and foremost, and then others second. And the better you feel, the better you will be at relating, working and performing. Take charge of the change!

If the change requires you to change your way, your approach and even your mindset so that you grow in your identity, it’s called a transformation. If the change is about doing what you already are doing but better and faster, it’s called an improvement. When you make an actual exchange, it’s called a change.

To get yourself into balance and to support your journey towards your goals, that always includes making changes, whether your habits, where you live or who you work with, consider working with a professional coach. He or she can help you clarify the steps you need to take and hold you accountable for taking them, with support.

If you’d like to make some changes in your business, don’t hesitate to contact a Change Management consultant or a Business coach to see how they can help you. 

To listen at this post as a podcast, click here.

Move your body to the 5 Rhythms

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Happy 5 Rhythms Day! This blogpost is dedicated to Gabrielle Roth who founded the dance style and movement practice, called 5 rhythms.

Gabrielle was born on February the 4th 1941 in San Francisco. After growing up with anorexia and depression, she took to dancing to trance music and lived in Europe, where she also practiced yoga. After she had hurt her knee both skiing in Germany and in an African dance class, she realized contrary to her doctor’s predictions that her knee healed through dancing. Through experimental theatre in New York City and through developing her own understanding of her healing process within Gestalt therapy and various philosophies, she came up with the five rhythms: Flowing, Staccato, Chaos, Lyrical and Stillness that she started teaching. With her own band called “The Mirrors” she made her own music to dance to, while guiding the dancers through these five rhythms. Each rhythm corresponds to a way of relating to the world, a season of our life, and a natural element, like Chinese Medicine, but not exactly the same. Together they become a soul journey into understanding and aligning our innate powers.

The rhythm Flowing is the beginning of our life cycle and considered Birth, Being and focused on our Body. It deals with the feeling of fear and the natural element of Earth.

The rhythm Staccato is our Childhood, dealing with Anger but becoming Loving as a way to perceive ourselves in the world, with a focus on our Heart and the element of Fire.

The rhythm Chaos corresponds to our life season of Puberty where we deal with Sadness and become Knowing. Chaos is connected to our Mind and the element of Water, according to Gabrielle Roth.

The rhythm Lyrical is our Maturity, where we are in a state of Seeing and feeling Joy with our Soul, in the element of Air.

And the rhythm Stillness is the Death where we have found Compassion and Healing, realizing our Spirit in the Ether.

When it comes to aligning the natural elements with our seasons of life, it’s all a matter of perception and understanding. In Chinese Medicine, the elements don’t contain Ether or Air but Metal and Wood instead. One can argue that it’s a matter of process and alchemy, besides definitions of what can be perceived but not seen. To me, the element of Air would correspond to our Spirit, as in becoming inspired, while Chinese Medicine thinks it is present in every natural element and Gabrielle Roth thinks it’s in the Ether. Regardless, it’s a call to remember how we too are part of nature on various levels.

By dancing to the 5 rhythms, we become more conscious of our body’s cues and how we feel by exploring how we can move it differently together with the music and through this experience different sensations. We do this by exploring small and big motions, upward reaching or down on the floor, by focusing on various parts of our bodies and letting it speak through these motions. All makes us more grounded individuals, more whole, and with a unity of body and spirit. We’re putting our body in motion in order to still our mind. To Gabrielle Roth, dancing was always joined with an awareness of our spirit, inspired by Shamanism and a way to find ecstasy or a meditative state resembling trance. A way to sweat our prayers.

To dance through the five rhythms Flowing, Staccato, Chaos, Lyrical and Stillness is referred to as a wave and takes about an hour in a practice. She called dancing these rhythms a wave to recognize that everything in nature can be perceived in patterns, waves and rhythms, that she translated into movement. The music enables us to let it move our bodies, to let ourselves be moved. Relaxing, letting go, and finding ourselves again.

I personally, have found a sense of liberation like what Gabrielle has described, through clubbing a lot when I was younger to house and trance music, besides practicing West African dance and Ecstatic dance. These dance styles enable us to break through the more rigid practices of traditional choreography and let us explore ways of improvising that can become different, different days, taking our emotions into our body and releasing them and any tensions, or simply letting our mood for the day inspire our movement and then transforming it back into bliss. I have too, hurt my knee in my early 20’s and have too, been told back then that I would never be able to dance professionally again. Now I’m 55, and I’m still practicing various dance styles!

If you’d like to experience dancing the 5 rhythms and learn more, they are practiced worldwide and can be found through their website 5rhythms.com.

To listen to this blogpost as a podcast, click here.

Making choices from within

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There is a sense of freedom in choosing. When we make a deliberate choice from within about something, we strengthen our own willpower and let ourselves be led by our own desires, dreams and needs, rather than succumbing to neither others’ imposed preferences, or any trends that we feel obligated to follow out of fear of missing out.

The first time I encountered this dilemma and helped someone to see where her decision came from, was when I was interviewing a group of applying Swedish High School students who wanted to become the next generation of exchange students with the organization ASSE in the early 1990’s. We who conducted these interviews had already been abroad for a year and belonged to a fraternity organization called IKU (International Culture Exchange in Swedish). It was our job to see if the people we interviewed would become a good fit for a year as an exchange student in the United States, based on our own experience, knowing what it required from us in terms of courage, willingness to learn, independence, curiosity, and a genuine interest in getting to know life abroad and live in an American host-family, while being student ambassadors of the Swedish culture.

One of the girls that I interviewed, was clearly insecure and vague when she answered my questions. Finally, she said that it was her parents’ idea to go, because they thought it would make her become more extroverted and mature, besides that it was seen as a popular thing to do to get ahead by improving our English. What she really wanted to do, was to apply to an Art School and pursue her music, which her parents didn’t think much of. So, I told them to be onboard with her, rather than the other way around. It’s too tough to be alone in a foreign country at the age of 17, to not really want to be. It wasn’t her own choice to apply. Hopefully my no, empowered her to stand with her own no. When are our decisions truly our own?

That’s when I understood that I could help coach others to make good decisions for themselves. It also brought to my awareness, how much influenced we are by our parents and peers, and later also co-workers and partners. After all, my mother had too been an exchange student and wanted me to follow suit. What made me do so, however,, wasn’t out of obedience to her, but my own desire to become more confident and become better at speaking English and thus more popular in my town – which I also became when I came back home. But it was a tough year, where I changed host-family and had to struggle to get into the language enough to speak it fluently. In my AP English class, I went from a grade C on some papers to a B+ during the course of the year and thanks to my teacher’s passion to help me (hence my dedication to her in my second book).

It’s harder to make choices, when we feel pressure from a government agency or other authority figure. It becomes a way of discipline and force, whether openly or covert, that robs us of both confidence, joy and will to succeed. Their imposed decisions seem made to exercise power rather than joint decision making with consideration of our needs and competence, it should be a way of the past. They if any, should learn how to become coaches.

A good question to ask yourself is this: If nobody would belittle you, impose guilt or try to coerce into doing something, what would you then choose?

What can you build more sustainably?

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Happy International LEGO Day!

Do you remember playing with LEGO when you were a little girl or boy? What did you like building? The plastic building bricks in different colors and sizes, that constitute LEGO, hold an infinite possibility. You can build something high rising or something big horizontally. And just like with life, sometimes we can build something already designed with an instruction how to make it. Or we can choose to make up what we like to build either beforehand, or as we go, making it our own design. You can use the same color or a mix of different; you can begin doing one side in one color and then another side in another or change as you go. And if you’re not satisfied, you can just take them apart and try again in a different way.

Now, take your inner child by the hand and apply building with LEGO to your own life. What are you building? How are you building your home, your career, your relationships and your personal life? How would you like it to look? Can you start in one area first? 

And what is it that you’re building your life with? Which are your resources or building bricks? What do you need more of? Money? Time? Education or special skills? Please note, that often we need lots of pieces to build something. These pieces can either be something we collect ourselves, or pieces coming from many people. What if you look at your followers on social media like pieces of LEGO? What are they all helping you to build? 

Another way of looking at our lives as something we build, is by applying the Hierarchy of Needs as defined by Abraham Maslow. This American psychologist did his research in the 1950’s and came with the conclusion that our needs must be satisfied in a certain order, for us to be able to climb upwards towards self-actualization. In other words, our basic needs constitute the foundation of ourselves, followed by belonging to a group and meeting career goals taking us up another level. If you don’t have the foundation properly set, the rest of your building risk collapsing, just like with your health and bricks of LEGO. If you don’t sleep and eat properly in a safe home, you won’t be able to perform as well on the job, be a good friend and partner and not be as creative and expressive. 

Likewise, our building bricks can be used to improve something. Most regular LEGO-builders, put in time and effort to make replicas of things, tending to each small detail with utmost precision. Which are the details in your life design you need to tend to? 

Start by using Maslow’s hierarchy of needs to build your foundation: 

What are you eating and how is it prepared? When are you eating? How much water do you drink daily?

Where are you sleeping and for how long? 

How are you living? Do you feel safe here?

Who do you spend most of your time with? Are these the people you prefer to have around you? Could these relationships become improved? What is missing and what can to be rebuilt?

What do you do for a living? Are there any new skills you’d like to learn? Is your job satisfying? Which traits are your career built on?

When do you make time for art, whether consuming or expressing yourself with? How can you build a sustainable art practice? 

And who are you in all this? Are you a builder, a planner, a designer, a repair man or someone who keeps things organized and stored for others to use? Which pieces need to be kept, and which can be let go of?

Then it’s time to look at the environmental aspect. Are you building your life in a sustainable way? Sustainability is to make sure that we don’t waste, and that our endeavors last over time for the next generations. For a sustainable life design, you might want to ensure that you don’t burn out and that your foundation is strong to not tip over. What does this entail for you specifically? Is there something in your schedule that could become improved and changed into becoming more long lasting and sustainable?

As a bonus, what if the actual LEGO bricks were made of for example wood instead? Wouldn’t that be more sustainable than plastic? Or do you know of any other material that can be used instead, such as seaweed or even orange peels? Nonetheless, there is both ingenuity, concentration and fine motor skills to be practiced if you decide to play with LEGO for real again. Do you have any laying in your basement, or could you do something together with your own children today?

If you’d like to explore what to build in your life and how, together with others, you can do so in a sacred circle or coaching group, or directly one-on-one with a life coach. Find one in your area or book a meeting on Zoom. To book a life coaching session with me, send an email to hannah@telluselleliving.com

To listen to this blogpost as a podcast, you can click here.

Under the powers of nature

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Here in Stockholm, Sweden, where I currently live, most days of January have been gloomy and cloudy, with little to no sun in sight. Add to that, lots of snowing and sometimes blizzards. And while the great storm approaching on the horizon for the United States isn’t heading this way, at least yet, it becomes a good reminder of the powers inherent in nature. It’s easy to feel distraught when others are abusing their power. Then remembering that they too are under the powers of nature, brings a little comfort.

The same goes for ourselves too. To keep ourselves in check and not become neither too boastful, nor too demanding, keeping nature’s power in mind, enable us to be more humble.

It’s these powers that can be perceived so clearly in Hawai’i through the volcanic eruptions, tsunamis and earthquakes, that became the foundation for believing in gods and goddesses, named after the same. They made them into figures, seen upon with both awe and fear, to celebrate and to coerce with offerings of gifts, chants and dances, to create a dialogue with the natural elements themselves. And with God as the ultimate higher power.

Just imagine, the immense force behind every transformation that nature undergoes between seasons, storms and various cycles. And the entire evolution. That certainly is a power to be reckoned with!

To live in balance with nature requires us to always be aware of and flexible to adjust our lives accordingly. It’s the one thing that everybody on the planet needs to. Therefore, it should be much easier to unite all as one, if the authorities kept this in mind. If we all keep this in mind.

Under the powers of nature, we’re all equals.

What is your dream for society?

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In the wake of escalating violence by ICE in the United States and the upcoming commemoration of Martin Luther King Jr’s birthday, what better opportunity than to take a moment and ponder about how you wish society would look like! To visualise how we want our life to be, is to make a vision.

Start by picturing the world, the city you live in or simply your life with an overview. Then describe it in words by writing it down, make a vision board or collage, or even a drawing. We’re used to thinking of how we wish our lives would look like, but not many of us regularly think of in detail how we wish the world would look like. Why don’t you?

Imagine how you would live together with others. Imagine how society would function and how we would relate and interact. Imagine the houses we live in. Imagine how things are handled, how we buy or sell – can we for example go back to trading goods and services locally instead? What do you prefer? What is your contribution if you could choose freely? And how do we create a more sustainable society – for the environment, for our own health and for future generations to come?

Could we come together in groups and let the groups create such a vision? What do we dream of collectively? What does that require from us to make it come true?

Creating a vision is what drives successful leaders towards fulfilling it through their inventions. You can start by making one for your own life.

To get more inspired, have a listen to this week’s podcast, also available on Spotify and Apple:

What can this lead to?

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Whether you’re someone who is driven by excitement and curiosity, and like delving into the unknown, or someone who is more comfortable with playing it safe and seeing a predictable outcome, contemplating what your decision can lead to, is an important aspect to consider. This is especially important to remember when you’re approached with a suggestion from someone else, whether for socialising or for a job-offer. It might not be what you were looking for, but what if this could lead you to something better, eventually?

This is often the case with work. On each job, there are skills to be learned and practiced. Skills that aren’t necessarily tied to a certain occupation or position, but rather something you can use in other situations or places too. Things like holding a presentation, the way we do in class for a group project while we’re studying, can for example be used when we’re asked to give a presentation on the job for a client, or even when giving a professional talk. Having performed plays, singing and dancing on stage, is another example where those skills come in handy too. Take a moment to acknowledge which these skills are and what you need to learn more of, with your own examples from your resumé and life. What led you forward and what became the consequences?

Similarly, this can also be applied to getting to know new people. You never know if someone will develop into becoming a really good friend or partner, or if that person might become an important contact for job seeking or for other valuable references. The same is true for you, maybe you are important to meet for someone else! Maybe you can share a piece of knowledge that is really valuable and needed. We all need each other to solve our problems.

In either case, approaching your choices and decisions with a positive attitude of discovery, will make it more fun to accept and try.

Facing your fears

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Now in the deep seat of winter, our kidneys are the most sensitive of our organs, alongside feeling fearful, according to Chinese Medicine. This is why it’s important to keep your lower back warm, and drink warm drinks. It’s also here our essence of energy is located.

One of my biggest fears most of my life, have been to put my head under water, due to an almost drowning accident when I was five years old, and due to being brought up in a family where nobody liked to, or even could swim. I went to swim school growing up of course, but it was either too cold or too stressed to try to learn something that just produced a deep fear and panic.

But, after receiving a lomilomi massage and a week’s vacation in sunny Portugal in 2015, I just decided to take the plunge, literally speaking. After that, I nowadays can put my head under water with ease! However, I’m still not comfortable in deep waters and can still panic. So last winter, I went to adult swimming classes to see if I could learn now instead. I attended them all and tried my best. While I made some progress, I still need to hold onto something or I panic to get up. We even tried wearing lifejackets one time, and that even freaked me out more, interestingly.

There was a blessing in disguise in all this though. I came closer to myself and my original feeling of fear of water than I have been for several decades. I’m sure that with great fears like these, they can spill over into other areas of our lives, or brew underneath the surface making us live with a heightened stress level all the time. Practicing in a swimming pool, allowed me to meet my fear head-on (pun intended). And this got me thinking, it’s all a matter of trust, including in myself, to just float. So that is what I need to practice, not only how to kick my legs. And therefore, I’ve signed up to get some CBT sessions, that I hopefully will receive during spring. Actually feeling the feeling of fear at its source of origin, made me more present with it and more understanding and self-compassionate. And that in turn, helps me overcome some of it.

Which are your deepest fears and how are you working on overcoming them?

The gift in grieving

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When I first received acupuncture and learned Qigong in 1995, I was introduced to Chinese Medicine and the school behind connecting our organs and emotions, to the seasons and natural elements. This has helped me find a holistic approach to healing, which I’ve used throughout my life, especially after my mother passed away. Here is an old photo of me and her from 23 years ago:

It’s said that our breathing can be constructed due to a build up of unresolved grief and stress, which even can affect our stomach, if the lungs can’t hold more. And if you think about it, we wouldn’t feel in a need of a good cry, if it wasn’t called for, so we can release and rejuvenate our breath. In fact, I used to have asthma for a couple of years, but have been able to heal from that completely.

Do you have any unresolved grief that you need to tend to? Grief isn’t only an emotion that comes with deaths of loved ones but can also be a natural response to loss of any kind, whether relationships, work or even things. A way to tune into grief, to see if you are holding any, is by thinking of what you might be missing. Do you miss a certain person, place, or time in your life? What makes you feel connected to that? Any particular song, movie, event, or do you have some photos to look at? Doing so, isn’t only to sit and cry, but to realize how much love you have, or had, for what you now are missing. You see, without feeling love, we wouldn’t grieve.

If you instead, or too, feel anger rise within, when you think about a loss, investigate this emotion to see what lies behind it. Is there something you need to forgive someone for? Is there something you need to forgive yourself for? Are you not feeling safe to express your grief?

Then it’s time to tune into self-compassion. Losing someone or something valuable, has been hard and it’s ok to grieve that for a while. It’s ok to not be cheerful all the time, and it’s ok to not just put it past you. Hold your own heart in this knowing. Hold your own inner child in this knowing. 

When I lost my mother more than 20 years ago, I learned first-hand what grief can be. I soon realized that mine came in waves, with only a couple of days apart. Eventually, it became more days apart from crying and reminiscing, and finally weeks, months, and even up to a year without even thinking about her. Life does move on. But to be able to move on, we must first go through the various stages of grief: the shock, the disbelief, the process, and the finding of new ways to live without him, her, or it.  Sometimes, I found that the best I could do for myself, was to just sit still. Sometimes, I danced. First West-African, grounding me with the beats of the drum in new rhythms forcing me to let go of my intellectual mind, and get back deep into my own body, flowing with the music. Then, I turned to Hawaiian Hula after feeling a pull to go there to heal. Dancing Hawaiian Hula enabled me to use soft motions to express myself, with the addition of soft swaying my hips. Hips, that directly is connected to giving birth and motherhood. I’m pretty sure, my mother carried me on her hips sometimes when I was a young girl. Dancing, let me become more present with my own body and all the emotions I had stored. Then to process it all, I went for many walks outdoors to let go and to breathe in new fresh air and energy. Something I still do.

Fast forward ten years, in 2014, I found Isadora Duncan Dance and through this practice, I found joy again.

Our lungs are connected to the Metal element and Autumn according to Chinese Medicine. To learn more about which one is connected to Winter, tune in to the next episode of The Source Podcast on Spotify or Apple, January 10th.

Which will be your goals for 2026?

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There is something refreshing about opening a new planner and see all the room available for new opportunities. While most of us simply continue what we’ve already started, it can also be a good time to start something new, or to change something, due to this psychological feeling of entering a new year. Either way, writing down your goals makes it easier to define which steps you need to take to reach them. An even more important thing to consider, is what you need in order to reach them. Often, we tend to write down lofty dreams or some might believe they should just become “manifested” and appear on their own. So, is usually not the case. To begin writing down your goals, you can start by visualising what it is you dream about. Then see what it is inside this dream that you actually can achieve, when, where, how and with whom. If your goal requires someone else to become fulfilled, you have to make the goal together with them, or it probably won’t. An easier way to understand this, is that you might dream about winning a million dollars in a lottery. That is nothing you can be sure to achieve. However, you can think of ways to make a million dollars, where buying a lottery ticket can be one of many action steps you take. Other steps would be to take a loan, to invest, to sell something, to work and save, and/or to inherit. Then the goal of making a million dollars becomes achievable.

Your goals can be set in various life areas such as:

Physically – how you treat your body

Intellectually – how you enrich your mind

Emotionally – how you handle your experiences

Spiritually – how you practice and pray

Environmentally – how you live and where

Financially – how you handle money and work

Socially – how you relate to others

Soulfully – how you express yourself with art

Now, go through which resources you need to have in order to reach these goals. See alternative routes, such as borrowing books at the library, or buy e-books, if your goal is to learn a new subject. You can arrange gatherings and potlucks at your place rather than go out at fancy restaurants to socialise cheaper, plan and prepare meals in advance to ensure a healthy diet, buy a membership card at the gym, buy new sneakers, look up more information, or the like. If you don’t have the resources, then getting resources will be your goal and your goal will become your reward!

Then of course, you can add a layer of sustainability and your connection to nature in all these, if you so like. To have nature in mind when you make decisions and strive towards your goals, whether that is to buy environmentally friendly products, learning more and study nature, practice outdoors or practices grounded in nature, such as qigong, Hawaiian Hula, 5 rhythms or Isadora Duncan dance. I used to meet with a friend once a week to go for a walk in nature together, which then enabled me to both socialise and catch up with her, as well as enjoying being in nature.

If you’d like a sounding board to create your goals and action-steps with, you can do so with a life coach like me. Simply email me at hannah@telluselleliving.com to book your first complimentary session to try!

And… here is my first podcast episode talking about this content!

Welcome 2026!

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For next year, I’ve outlined a plan for my social media for Telluselle Living, like most marketers do. I’ve chosen fun days we celebrate as a theme, that together with the season’s element according to Chinese Medicine, will be the topic for my life coaching blog here, with one or a couple central questions. Like before, I aim to post something at least once a week, with some extras.

Making a plan for the whole year, provides stability and a sure way to be creating, rather than only reacting to world and life events, or on occasional inspiration. Next year, will show more of what Telluselle Living is, as a concept. And I hope to be able to make a podcast too!

Accomplishments 2025

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If you’re going to take some time off during the holidays and need an excuse to have some alone time – making a review of this past year can be it. When we go through what has transpired during the year, it both makes us feel more accomplished and helps us see whether or not we’ve reached our goals and in which areas of our life we’d like to improve and set new ones. Overall, are you content about how your 2025 has been? What would make you feel more content?

To make a review of this year, you can do it in two ways. Either you go through month by month and make a timeline with your achievements for each. Or you can make two lists with Measurable (such as how many hours) and Immeasurable (such as what you’ve learned) things you’ve accomplished. And you can of course do both!

Here are mine:

I started 2025 in January by getting cataract surgery on both my eyes. It for sure became both a literal and symbolic eye-opener! My physician couldn’t understand how I’ve been able to cope for several years at all, how bad they were. And now, I don’t even need to wear glasses! I also got a nice set of professional photos taken both wearing a suit and wearing a dance tunic. Stopped working online for Scale AI since they hassled with payment and most of all didn’t follow their own directives.

In February, I won in court against the Swedish welfare office and got to keep my old business name Balansfokus without their interference and got the denial of welfare for two months reversed. I also received damages in another case, where I had filed a complaint against a psychiatrist delaying a diagnosis and surgery of Malignt Melanoma in 2022. I went to see a new physician and got a new certificate of my health that I submitted to the asking authority, who approved in September.

In March, I therefore set out to renew my wardrobe, which I did. I focused on taking care of myself by getting a much needed lomilomi massage and of course continued with my job applications and took part of Storytelling in a local Meetup group.

In April, I began participating in a coaching program for unemployed with Manpower here in Stockholm, Sweden, much to see how they are conducting it, since I want to preferably run my own coaching practice, where in Sweden the job agency finances this for unemployed for a period of six months.

In May, I focused on job searching, attending webinars and did a phone interview for a remote position as a project manager for a new launch of a reading app in Europe, but was relieved to not get it. I don’t want to work solemnly remotely.

In June, I thankfully received another grant from the Swedish House of Nobility, because of the many denials of social security, so I could both pay due rents and buy myself a much needed new cellphone and computer, and pay my website host. I also sent out several pressreleases about my new book about creativity.

In July, I loved going down to the little lake where I live, to get tanned and take a dip. I also decided to postpone my planned travel to San Francisco due to the increased ICE-raids and not having enough funds. I finalised my books with some updates, as well as my personal website. I had a meeting on Zoom to collaborate with the Joy+ app, but had to wait due to lack of funds. I attended a Master class series in how to make a TED Talk and outlined my proposals and sent in applications.

In August, I continued making more content and went down south of Sweden to visit my dad and my younger brother also came with his two sons, whom I’ve never met and not met neither my brother or my dad for more than 10 years! I wrote an article about creativity to a magazine and sent in, and attended a full day workshop with a British author event. I tried working with AI-editing Swedish translations through One Forma, but only to once again discover bad practices.

In September, I registered at a Swedish university to redo my Master’s degree exam paper and finally after 20 years of waiting (!) received proper feedback to know what needs to be reworked and edited. I finished the Swedish job coaching program at Manpower, edited my resumé and increased my number of sent in job applications. I also attended a 5 day coaching program online with a British gal. I’ve began posting on Substack in an effort to try to get paid subscribers to the content of my books, as an alternative to buying them.

In October, I wrote a short story and submitted to an Australian competition. I focused on job searching including contacting my own preferred companies to work with. I also attended some ACMP Changemaker webinars and tried to rest a lot, given I hurt my ribs at a fall in a staircase.

In November, I got my final (hopefully!) exam by my skin doctor without any new signs of neither melanoma birthmarks of more swollen lymph-nodes after three years of continuous check-ups. I attended a lawsuit that I initiated, as well as appealed another against the yoga studio YogaMana, whom I believe took the word mana out of its Hawaiian context from my blog many years ago, besides being denied social security again and having to appeal those decisions too. I made several power point decks for my outlined talks and posted on YouTube as a practice and appetizer. And I sent in information about my passed-on grandmother to the Polish Institute of Remembrance for Holocaust survivors, as well as asked for any information they might have on her.

In December, I’ve concluded my year and finished more recordings of powerpoint decks and have had to continue to fight for my survival financially, after beginning to work with collecting photos for an AI consultant in India, who then reduced his payment to $1 and I reported to Upwork.

Measurably, altogether in 2025, I’ve applied for 240 jobs, I’ve recorded 59 coaching tip videos and posted on my social media, and then a couple of other reels and dance videos, besides regular blog posts and updates. On this page, I’ve had readers from about 10 countries. I’ve practiced 28 hours of yoga, 31 hours of Isadora Duncan dance, 17 hours of Qigong and 12 hours of Hawaiian Hula, at home. And I’ve went for 72 walks in the forest.

Immeasurably, I’ve learned to make little reels and overcome some of my self-consciousness about speaking in front of a camera, as well as taken note of ways to conduct webinars and to be less emotionally upset about the stalking, while still reporting all to the police.

When we’ve tried our best, we’ve done what we could. Now, how has your year been?

Making a New Year’s resolution that works

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Are you tired of trying to make promises and New Year’s resolutions that you can’t keep or not follow through on? Whether this is due to your own busyness, laziness or even forgetfulness, or due to others’ imposed conditions that you can’t do much about, I have a solution that you can hold onto. 

For several decades, I’ve instead of making a promise or a New Year’s resolution, opted for a specific word, theme or topic that represents a trait or something I’d like to improve or develop within myself. This thing is something I can work on regardless of any circumstances beyond my control or when changes forces me to alter my course. Some years, I’ve chosen traits like “integrity” or “softness”. This past year, I’ve focused on “articulating better” and “being more gentle”. This came about as a result after having had multiple teeth surgeries done for altogether three years and getting dental implants, prompting me to hide my mouth and hide my smile for just as long, until this year. And since I’ve often been told that I have a tendency to speak too fast, especially in my native tongue Swedish, getting dental implants provided me with an opportunity to try to improve this too. Being gentle, is part of my strive to embody more femininity in a cold and harsh world, such as when I brush my hair and the way I open and close doors, grab things etc.

Next year, I aim to set lower expectations and therethrough create less resistance with others, and instead focus on “hope”. Hope is a timeless asset and always needed, as well as referred to as the anchor for our soul in the Bible (Heb 6:18-20). Alas, something we always can hold onto.

Which theme or word will you focus on 2026?

Setting boundaries for you

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Often, setting boundaries can be a bit daunting. We might feel a bit awkward about saying no to someone or something. And quite frankly, sometimes we don’t even have a real excuse, but just not feeling up to it. Then it becomes good to remind ourselves that setting boundaries isn’t just about whether we should say yes or no to going somewhere, but a matter of taking good care of ourselves and getting our needs met. Energy is our body’s currency. By setting boundaries we can economise our spending.

How do you know if you need to set one? It’s like many other things often just a feeling in your body. You might feel irritated or tired when you think about going. You might not feel like you can afford it monetarily or time wise. Then it’s usually an indicator of your need to set a boundary.

On the other side, is getting out of your comfort zone. Sometimes, we get our needs met better by leaving our self-imposed boundaries, when they have become excuses not founded in actual needs of retreating.

To find a proper middle ground, you can decide to rather set limits than boundaries, such as if you have a tendency to binge watch a TV-series, decide to just watch one episode per day instead. How does that make you feel? More in control, trusting in yourself better, and as a better caretaker of your resources? Then watching two, can instead become a treat.

So, as we’ve entered the season of indulgence, where do you need to set a boundary to ensure your own well-being?

Following indigenous wisdom

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Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always been drawn to learn more about indigenous people’s way of living, whether to learn more about sacred spiritual practices and shamanism, or to live in harmony with nature and to ride well bareback, like Native American Indians. I used to horseback ride for about 8 years during my school years in Sweden and even worked weekends at the local riding club to earn some extra cash and to get some free extra riding classes. We also often rode through the woods or cantered over open fields. The connection I was able to create with my favourite horse(s), was my starting point to connect with nature and to enter the spiritual realm.

No wonder then, decades after, living in Hawaii on several occasions and getting to know some bits and pieces of their indigenous wisdom has enabled me to gain a more solid foundation and perspective on life, building on my interest since childhood, and knowing how my grandfather also had taken an interest in the Swedish indigenous people up north; the Sapmi, where he first lived and when my dad was born.

I believe that we can translate indigenous wisdom, not only literally, but to apply in our modern western world to create more peace and harmony. This is part of my aim for building Telluselle Living Center. Here, is a short version of my presentation and slideshow of the Hawaiian values and how these are carried out in everyday life and culture, what they encompass and what we can do too.

Aloha!