A good way to enable boundary setting, is by looking at, and deciding, our own standards. A standard is a value that we live by, a level of what we think is good enough to let into our lives. This can be set in terms of what we acquire, the things we buy or eat, such as choosing organic when possible. And they can also be set in terms of what we allow ourselves and others to do or not to us or with us. These standards and their adjoining boundaries, then becomes our way to uphold integrity. They also say something about our taste and style; what we prefer and who we are.

Generally speaking in society, good standards can be to have access to fresh water, and to be able to heat up our apartments during winter. It can also be that most people have their own jobs and can afford their own living.

What setting standards boils down to, is what we find good or bad. It can be what we think of certain brands, or for example certain type of TV-shows or books. This is usually defined as culture vs pop-culture. When I grew up, it was important in our family to only consume good literature and what is deemed of high cultural value, such as real art. Of course though, this meant for me to excitingly explore some of the more commercialised sides and therethrough develop my own standards, and also to learn the difference between art and entertainment. This in turn becomes a standard for creativity. What is truly our own and authentically unique, is usually very artistic, whereas the more common, general, and mainstream, something is, the less creative it’s usually considered. A standard thus, is a matter of the quality that we strive for.

Which are your standards? Where do you draw the line for what you want to let into your life? And for what you let out? While this can be seen as setting high expectations, it can also omit what’s not good for us, and more distinctly help us to find our real tribe.