bwWhen does a species become invasive and when should a race be kept uninfiltrated? Or is it the other way around, that our species become stronger and more tolerant when we mix things up to create a more colorful result?

I talked to a couple of horses today to hear their opinion. They have certain things in common. They are all coming from Europe and sturdy in their shape with a calm and stable temper, suitable for this environment up north. But they do belong to different races. They share power but have a tiff now and then. Most of all though, they eat the same food.


My favorite horse growing up was a mix breed between Welsh pony and Gotland Russ, which became a good combination of qualities, especially for children. Arabic horses may be very beautiful to look at, but everybody knows that they aren’t very cuddly and very nervous, whereas a Shetland pony can pull a cart through the darkest of caves loaded with coal, an Icelandic horse has its own trot and a Thoroughbred will without a doubt run faster than most other kinds of horses. Which purpose do we value most and for whom? Does it matter where we live? Or should we see these different competencies just as valuable for all of us?

labanLike with our food, what is chemically manipulated and forced together seldom becomes nothing but a stressed result lowering our immune system, while allowing natural migration according to curiosity and wellness, fulfilling our needs and ensuring a natural selection taking place will produce combinations that make us grow more resilient into a positive evolution, just like how the wind can carry a seed and decide where it should grow roots.

Mother Nature doesn’t move, but we can.

Photo shows a Norwegian Fjord and an Irish Gypsy at Aspuddsparken.


hulawahineTonight I performed with the chant E Laka E and danced Hula to Aloha No O Waitapu at a local “open stage” event at the Stockholm Ballet Academy. Just like with practicing, we also need to practice the art of performing which has to do with nerves, presence, lighting, choice of music, preparation and wearing appropriate attire (according to Hawaiian protocol when it comes to Hula).

The mandatory butterflies in my stomach were there but not more than I could handle, so that was an improvement.

When it comes to how the light should be set on stage, this is something I have to become more aware of. The actual performance went fairly well (first time I chanted on stage and solo too!) with no mishaps but for the need to adjust an arm-motion in the moment, but that is also how we become professional, according to my opinion.

It reminds me of how incredibly much space there is in a song; where you in the midst of it all still become present enough to steer your thoughts, hold the right count, remember the choreography, smile at the audience, listen to the music, be 100% aware of all your motions and still get back on track if you do miss a detail, like bending your knees more, or perfecting an angle.Then it is also of course a matter of presenting a specific emotion or expression of Aloha, alongside with the dance, based on finding and being in the right energy.


In Hula one should wear certain type of dresses (specific patterns, fabrics, cuts etc matter), tops, skirts, hair-do’s, flower-leis, make-up appropriate with the venue, type of music, chosen song and its content, besides the smile. In Hawaii most Hula-dancers get sponsors to help out with the expenses, which unfortunately isn’t so common in Sweden, where just one Lily for my hair cost 10 USD. Nevertheless, I tried my best with what I have right now and also becoming more inspired to practice more songs and continue to work on my own choreographies as well.

I told one of the other students today of the fact that 25 years ago, I wished to be one who danced professionally at this very same school for a career in Ballet, but even if my life took another path, I am grateful, happy and proud that I dance there now anyhow and can perform professionally.



turnaroundMost of us have to face real resistance at some point in our lives. The most common occurrence is when we attempt to change a behavior, habit or fulfill a goal that demands us to push ourselves through a challenge of some sort. This type of inner resistance is simply a confirmation that we are about to stretch outside of our comfort zone. By welcoming it, we can use the friction as an energy that enable us to practice focus and determination.

Outer resistance may also show up through people who don’t want to see us change; whether by holding us in their relationship patterns, societal norms or power structure. This friction can either inspire us to seek support elsewhere and cut the cords to what holds us back, or be worked through together to cement personal development and growth for both. Here is also where clarifying our values and how we live accordingly become crucial so we can make conscious choices and take a stand for what we believe in.

Then there is of course, the unforeseen outer resistance by an X-factor, which can be changing conditions by authorities, threats from small-minded and stingy people, economic depression or the like. When it is at a community level, we can also find it to be something to change. However, when it is personal, it becomes trickier, such as when the support we are on the receiving end of, become obstructed through the grudge of someone else’s envy or fear, but it forces us to stand up for ourselves even more and for our right to life, liberty and happiness. To me, it also makes me more appreciative of the relationships others try to interfere with.

I look at resistance as a clue that my work (opinion, texts, dances, ideas, relationships, contacts, meetings etc) is really important and worthy or it wouldn’t be worked against. Laying in the front line as a changing agent will eventually also become habitual as we come to recognize the process.

Where do you feel resistance and by whom? What is it that you can improve by it and how can you work through it?


Dance to me is the foundation for my wellness. Wellness is to create the conditions we need to feel well; regardless of whether we have an illness, disability or are upset in any other form.

waterPhysical wellness is to ensure that I receive the fresh and clean nutrition, sleep, rest, oxygen, sunlight, temperature, touch, water and home that I need so that I can dance, and live.

Mental wellness is to use my mind wisely in terms of time management, communicating boundaries, needs and allow for creativity to flow while taking responsibility for retrieving information and founding healthy decisions and actions, appropriate for me.

Emotional wellness is to be able to have my space free of intruders and invite guests in when I choose to. This refers both to my physical space and my heart-space, to be moved by circumstances and be part of life, as well as rejoice in personal memories with gratitude and expressing myself and connecting to others with mutual support.

Spiritual wellness is exercising my faith freely, whether in a church or outside in Mother Nature, to pray without interruption, correction or judgment, wile receiving inspiration.

In other words, what makes us feel free, also ensures a sense of wellness when our needs are met, so that the coping with stress doesn’t spill over but becomes less and personal leadership becomes more. Do you allow others to lead their own lives?


All our conflicts stem from the patterns we have been conditioned to in our childhood, until we become aware of them and learn how to behave differently. Each generation also have its own pattern, based on the collective theme of its time. These conflicts arise from the beginning in each individual family, becomes extended to the rest of the community, city and nation, based on our needs, whether basic needs like food and be loved, or self-realization through our identity and creativity.

When I grew up my parents often argued about money before we had to downscale to a smaller house in another town where my mother had a full time job as a teacher, while my father was freelancing as a journalist, ending in a divorce a couple of years later. In Sweden, a country much founded on the ideal of equal opportunities, this doesn’t always work literally, where for example an independent contractor or someone who has been unemployed or on leave, will loose all benefits, as opposed to having an insurance. So, where do we turn for our provision and safety?

At first we might turn to the police, the way I received help from the HPD and the FBI (previously referred to as Mom and Dad in my blog) five years ago in Honolulu, when I was physically stalked by a guy from Sweden and thereby hindered from finishing my degree, start working and continue normally with new and former relationships. They inspired me to understand their perspective of trying to take on the role as parents for those who need it when our own failed to teach us how to set proper boundaries or when others violate them. Often this type of parenting becomes solemnly governed through a sense of correction, discipline and guidance, forgetting the most important thing which is love – accepting, respecting and loving like a parent should with compassion while allowing honest vulnerability to permeate one’s expression with a sound Ego to define one’s personality.

The authorities, such as government agencies, law enforcement, church congregations and the like, become our stand-in substitute for our parents to enable us guidance to heal and ensure our own self-sufficiency. But very often this too fails, based on a patriarchal model of gender-based oppression and abuse of power. This is why we should, according to my opinion, define and exercise a greater tolerance in terms of always founding our decisions, communication and action with compassion, urging each grown-up individual to take responsibility for his/her own healing and ability to grow self-love that makes the need to harm others lesser, if protected from being taken advantage of.

How is a parent a good parent? How can a grown-up behave like a healthy adult? How does it apply to you and your relationships? If you compare your findings to the rest of the community, workplace or city where you live, what is the same?

Mother Earth and Father Heaven meeting in our Collective Heart.

Photo from December 2010 by Desirée Seitz.


My mother’s ex-husband Christer likes to call books for our “quiet friends”, referring to the way we can get to know a character in a novel or simply open our minds to new adventures that we can live through reading. I am pretty sure I have read at least about 300 books, I think, since I first learned how to read when I was about 4 years old when I was bored and annoyed with my father Carl-Johan, who is an author, who would sit and read the newspaper and I would demand him to teach me, which he did. At the age of 12 I had the unforgettable phone conversation with Astrid Lindgren about “Ronia, the Robber’s daughter” upon my Dad had booked her for a reading. She had a very specific voice that she used for her storytelling also orally which made me feel very special, grateful and included by, given her focus on kids who often felt left out either by their peers or due to their family feuds which I could relate to. As a teenager I used to be allowed to go down into the archives at our local library to explore old books, ranging from Cherry Ames to Swedish sagas. Growing up, I read all Agatha Christie’s books, followed by a decade of immersing myself into New Age literature and books by Carlos Castaneda and Lynn Andrews. So, which ones did I really get inspired by for my own living and writing, even consisting of getting my own green notebook? Here is a list of some of my other favorites:

Harriet – the Spy by Louise Fitzhugh

Anne Frank’s Diary by Anne Frank

Britta and Silver by Lisbeth Panke

Talking with Horses by Henry Blake

Words for sale by Jan Cederquist

The Ninth Insight by James Redfield

You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay

The Unmistakable Touch of Grace by Cheryl Richardson

The Right Questions by Debbie Ford

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

The New Earth by Eckhart Tolle

Shakespeare’s sonnets and his other works

Karin Boye’s poems and “The Waiting Room” by Niklas Törnlund

Slaughter House Five by Kurt Vonnegut

A Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

The Pearl by John Steinbeck

Half a sheet of Foolscap by August Strindberg

To Kill a Child by Stig Dagerman

Crisis and Development by Johan Kullberg

The Dream Society by Rolf Jensen

Co-Active Coaching by Kimsey-House and Sandahl

The Skilled Helper by Gerard Egan

My Father Had a Dream by Barack Obama

The Diffusion of Innovation by Everett Rogers

The Confident Woman by Joyce Meyer

The Thesaurus (with which I used to kill spiders, making the cover nasty, bad decision ;-) )

The Bible

I think we all become affected by what we read, sometimes consciously and sometimes subconsciously, so what do you read?

In loving memory of my two English teachers: Rose-Marie and Deborah, without whom I would never have been able to write this good in English.


That feeling. The feeling of lightness and strengthened integrity that comes from keeping a promise we made to ourself in regards to setting boundaries, meeting a goal, fulfilling a desire and standing up against injustice. It is a matter of deciding when to let go and when to have patience and for what or who, with faith and trust. Like every similar thing, it has to do with our values that we must examine and define in the process of becoming who we are, which in turn becomes the way we relate to others, so that we can choose our partners, colleagues and friends accordingly while perhaps remaining faithfully loyal to our family if they provide us with the loving support we wish for. When we live according to what we hold high, we are loyal to our own heart. But what is it then to be loyal towards another person, organization or a country?

When our personal values become scrutinized and then developed into a collective way of behaving, it shows up as an ideal worth fighting for. But is the ideal something that is good, honor the greater community with dignity, freedom and respect for all or is it a result of group-think based on subconscious fears and anger? I think, loyalty forms from a sense of shared experiences if we look back, and from a similar vision about the future if we look forward. To have these discussions openly is what creates mutual trust based on an increased tolerance and understanding so that we can choose what and who to be loyal to, based on our needs and sense of righteousness together.

And sometimes it is just a matter of the loving energy in personal relationships. That feeling.