Tag: forgiveness

Forgiveness through generations

Hannah TelluselleLeave a comment

When we take responsibility for our actions and communication, we feel empowered and can either solidify our stance, or change easier. This is especially important when it comes to conflict resolution. Through the Hawaiian Ho’oponopono prayer, we can use it either together with the person we’re in conflict with, or by ourselves, as well as including previous generations and wishes for the future generations, to be healed and find peace. Imagine what this world could look like, if we all practiced this!

We start by communicating what the harm is, that we feel we’ve been subjected to and why. Then we listen to the other, who may even have misunderstood us, or feel hurt him/herself. When both sides have shared their points of view, both can agree to ask one another for true forgiveness and move on. This was especially important in old Hawai’i, where everyone is dependent on everyone since they live on islands far away from any mainland. Ho’oponopono means making things right again; to return to integrity and love.

If it’s not possible to communicate and solve the matter directly with the other person, we can work on ourselves by recognizing any other situation, relationship, or event, where we’ve been the one causing similar harm to what we now experience. Then, we can ask for forgiveness for that time through prayer, and understand the current situation better. We can also ask for forgiveness in prayer regardless, not knowing exactly what the harm was another refers to, or experience, but with sincere intention. The prayer goes like this:

Divine Creator, Father, Mother, Child as One, if I, – insert your name -, or any of my ancestors, relatives or family members, have ever caused or inflicted any harm upon – insert the other’s name -, or any of your ancestors, relatives or family members, I’m deeply sorry. Please forgive me. Please transmute this situation into light. Thank you. I love you. Amen.

Then visualize sea green light wash through you, to clear this event in the past, in the present, and in the future.

One of the known Hawaiian practitioners to use this prayer, was Morrnah Nalamaku Simeona.

Finding forgiveness

Hannah TelluselleLeave a comment

Forgiveness works in three ways and all three must be considered, to complete the circle and be able to truly let go and move on. Here are the three ways:

Self-forgiveness: Forgiving yourself, can sometimes be harder than another person. It’s also more necessary, since you still have to live with yourself and be able to continue forward. So, try to locate within, where your offense is stemming from and why. Then, practice self-compassion. If you did your best, you can’t expect yourself to do more, until you learn more, and have the space to change.

Forgiving others: We all need to receive an apology from time to time, and it might be the hardest thing to ask for one. However, holding a grudge will certainly affect your relationship regardless of its nature, wherefore this is necessary. Simply, share how you feel. A good way to find forgiveness in terms of what others have done to you, is by putting yourself in their shoes for a minute. What have they, or are they, going through? What are their needs? What did you do to provoke the situation yourself? Also here, practice compassion.

Offering an apology yourself: Owning your own behaviour and communication, feels much more empowering than not. Try it! Look into what your motive and shape of the day was. Have you not slept enough or eaten, when you had an argument? Did you believe something negative and expecting that, or assuming something unfounded? Find compassion for both yourself and the other.

The way to forgive, can be done by relating one’s own behaviour with another’s. Let’s say that someone shows envy of you and you feel offended, since you worked really hard to get what you wanted. Instead of merely defending yourself, you can try another approach. Can you find another time, with the same person, or someone else completely, where you, yourself, have felt envious? Then, you can relate to that feeling. To heal this, offer an apology to that person, whether literally or through a prayer. This way, you can heal both backwards and forwards, including within your lineage as you set out to also include your ancestors and children and offer forgiveness also on behalf of them. This is the way of Ho’oponopono – the Hawaiian forgiveness process and prayer. When you take responsibility for your own behaviour, that you have showed in the past, you heal the future.