Greet someone with Aloha!

Happy Lei Day! Today is May the 1st and the official first day of spring. The theme for this blogpost is Lei Day – the day when the art of making Hawaiian flower garlands, called Lei, is upheld. 

You know the invigorating feeling of scenting a nice flower like the rose? Imagine wearing a garland made of a hundred of them! In Hawaii, it’s tradition to make lei of various flowers, leaves, shells and nuts and give away to someone you love, especially for their birthday, wedding, anniversary or graduation day. Funny enough, here in Sweden where I am from, we hang bouquets of flowers around a graduating student’s neck too, a little of the same. 

When we give someone a lei, we give it with Aloha as a greeting and a wish for someone to have a good day and even life, as a blessing. Aloha is a word that can be translated into an acknowledgement that we all share the same breath, the same air, and therefor are united and interdependent, which should be respected and honored.

The lei in Hawaii, are made by hand through picking and cleansing a basket full of flowers or leaves that are taken apart into pieces. Then you use a long needle and plastic or sturdy thread, and pierce through the flower at the base and tie together. These lei are also used for dancing Hula and part of showing which island one is from or representing. Some flowers are endemic to a specific island, such as the Ohi’a Lehua tree with its bright red flowers, that only grows on Big Island and is the first thing to grow on lava. In Hawaiian mythology, picking these flowers are said to bring rain, which are considered the tears of the lovers ‘Ohi’a and Lehua, that the goddess Pele had transformed in one of her acts of rage and jealousy. The flower symbolic for the island of Oahu is the yellow Hibiscus. And all islands hold the Ti’leaf in high regard, used both for grass-skirts and as adornments along Maile flowers that often are worn open-ended in weddings, speeches and blessings symbolizing respect, friendship and love. To wear a lei open and not tied together is especially important for pregnant women, as it is said to be symbolic of the umbilical cord that is to remain open for the baby in the mother to be’s womb. 

A flower more common, is the Plumeria, that also grows on trees and comes in colorful variations, both in Hawaii, Thailand, Indonesia and India. It’s this flower, that I hope to resemble when I find someone who can help me saw, cut or carve out its shape in bamboo rods, to make a sustainable lei. I came up with this design idea as an alternative to the many fake lei made of plastic that are sold outside of Hawaii. While some can be made of fabric, I think little ones made of bamboo, can be worn both by men and women, are light weight and durable. 

The royal family and nobles sometimes wore leis made of feathers. They are rare and very expensive to make, but nonetheless an important tradition in Hawaii.

In songs, lei and flowers are often used to symbolize someone you love, together with a description of the place he or she is from or where they met. You can even think of each flower as a certain event in your relationship, to make it a lei of memories. Leis are made with love and given and received with love. This welcoming and blessing way is part of living Aloha, where loving-kindness and generosity of heart permeate the culture and the communities. It’s a way to relate to others and be helpful towards one another, remembering that on an island, one must! And, even planet Earth can be seen as one big island, which is part of my inspiration to build Telluselle Living Center and foster a more caring attitude in action elsewhere too. If Hawaii is paradise, why don’t we then aim to recreate it in more places, adapted to the local nature and language?

Something happens when you wear a lei. You feel more beautiful and the energy of the flowers or leaves combines itself with yours for a while. This is behind the making of flower essences and essential oils. 

To store fresh lei for up to a week, sprinkle some water and keep refrigerated in containers.

Then, go out today and smell a flower!

To listen to this blogpost as a podcast, find The Source Podcast on Spotify, Apple or Youtube. To learn more about Aloha, click here.

The right way to help

One of the first things that we become greeted by in the United States, is usually the question: How can I help you? While it mostly is posed to sell someone something, or out of politeness, it still is one of the more important ones to remember to ask, also when someone is asking for help. I’ve had to ask others for help many times, when I’ve been desperately broke, even in several countries, so I know the vulnerability that comes with having to rely on others to survive, and how hard it is to say no to what we don’t want, when we might have nothing. Nonetheless, we must only say yes to what really helps us, and no to what doesn’t, even if the other means well. Unfortunately, sometimes people offer to help because they want to be helpful, rather than actually help, or they have a set of rules or a system in place that doesn’t make room for the flexibility that is called for. An example is when I’ve been out of food. Getting a grocery bag filled with food that I can’t eat (for example gluten and lactose) or simply don’t like, is on one hand something to be grateful for, on the other hand completely devastating those times I’ve been shoved one, without being able to eat any. But when I lived in Honolulu 2010-12, I was told a good tale by Ramsey Taum on a UN Peace day celebration, that I’ve kept in mind and share in my first book The Call for Divine Mothering. It goes like this:

Once upon a time, there was a goldfish swimming in a bowl. He was swimming around and around but didn’t get anywhere. One day, he decided to take the leap and jump out and explore life outside of the bowl. But where he landed, there was no water and he couldn’t get up. He screamed for help several times, but nobody helped him. Finally, a monkey noticed the goldfish lying sprawling on the ground next to his bowl with water. The monkey offered to help and lifted it up. And hung the goldfish in a tree.

This all takes us back to our needs and the importance of showing others respect and trust, to discern when someone is being honest and authentic and respond to their plea when we can, in the way that the other is needing, rather than just helping based on assumptions.

How can you help someone today?

Importing Aloha?

One of the greatest resources Hawaii has, is the Aloha-spirit that in many ways resemble Christian kindness, but coming from a more aware and conscious effort to simply share and be generous at heart. Can this be imported and implemented in Sweden, I wondered almost 20 years ago when I came home from my first visit. I’ve wished and prayed for that, as well as tried to spread myself, when possible. And…. it has! Stockholm has changed! Stockholm, Sweden, used to be a very cold, busy and snobby city, yet many years behind with fashion trends (in comparison to Copenhagen for example). And most of all, a city where everybody rushes to hop onto the subway, and preferably also on the right side of the train, to arrive closest to one’s exit. This is no longer so. And I’m so relieved!

Other things that I’m grateful for, and that I’ve been on the receiving end of here this last decade, is many neighbours who have greeted me friendly, where I’ve stayed, trust in me when I’ve had to pay late, been offered several awesome apartments to rent, received compliments by strangers on the street, offered assistance to open a door or carry something, as well as shared small talk in common areas, whether doing laundry, standing in an elevator, or attending church. So, while Swedish people still can be hard to get to know and make friends with, if you haven’t known each other since childhood or have kids that are, there is another openness and kindness now, that I hope is a seed of Aloha.

Photo of a Hibiscus flower, the state flower of Hawaii, growing in my kitchen.