We post on social media, text each other, and chat. We listen to webinars about prosperity and watch teachers talk about how to find bliss and success. But nowhere, seems there to be any real dialogues. No actual replies based on your specific situation, conditions or concern. This is my specialty as a lifecoach, whether for one-on-one sessions or for small groups (up to a dozen). The absolute prerequisite to holding an authentic dialogue, is assuming a genuine stance of respect, honesty and equality, with an open mind, and a willingness to let the conversation flow and develop on its own.

Typically, we decide a time and place beforehand, where a level of confidentiality can be held, and with a set agenda, ie a decided topic or issue to discuss. This isn’t to prepare some kind of oral examination, it’s more to have an agreed upon focus for our dialogue. A topic can be a special situation, relationship, or problem in need of solving, or it can be an exploration and discovery of various themes, that we want to define and find coherence for together. The whole purpose of a dialogue, is to listen and clarify things, where the answer you give, leads to the next question becoming posed by the coach. The result is a solution, or conclusion, coming from yourself with a more varied perspective and will to act on. Contact me to try! The first session is for free.

Many of the qigong motions are made to balance yin and yang, heaven and earth and corresponding organs and energy within ourselves. This particular motion is called “Picking a Lotus flower”:

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Have you tried it?

All dance classes start with a thorough warm-up, needed to be able to do the motions fully without harming ourselves. After this, we might focus on practicing certain steps a little extra, before we take on practicing an actual dance. To learn a dance, these things are taken into account:

Technique – how we do certain motions

Choreography – which motions we do and in which order

Presentation – the way we express ourselves

Music – what we dance to and in what style

Context – any symbolism, such as legends or stories that are told through the lyrics and motions

All this becomes easier, when we also dare to relate personally to what we’re doing. Finding our own correlated meaning, through our own emotions and experiences, makes for a better performance. Tuning in to my own memories of San Francisco thus, made it easier to dance Hawaiian Hula to this song:

https://vimeo.com/1007416240?share=copy

More about my dancing can be found here.

A good way to practice mindfulness, is to become more aware of our senses and both be present and communicate what they’re telling us. While meditation helps us focus inwardly, and make our sensory input secondary, practicing mindful presence, requires the opposite. Here is how to exercise that:

While puttering around your house, take a pause and reflect on your senses:

What are you watching?

What are you hearing?

What are you smelling?

What are you touching?

What are you tasting?

And, how does these make you feel? If you express this orally at the same time you take notice, it becomes a way to feel more awake and aware, thus becoming more present.

Do you remember the hashtag #throwbackthursday? It was huge several years ago, when everybody were posting old photos of themselves together with the tag. In the vicinity of these years, I thought it would be fun to use an alliteration for the rest of the days of the week too, but for self-care and lifecoaching purposes. Since I haven’t been able to sit down in my own apartment and be creative for many years, it has taken me until now to pursue this idea, but here it is! Having a theme for the day, can both be helpful when it comes to better take good care of ourselves, and be a focus for posting something on social media. So, please spread and use as much as you’d like!

#motivationmonday

What is a reward you’ll feel, or can give yourself, after doing what you want to do?

To increase our motivation, we need inspiration and focus. By thinking about why you need to do something; defining a purpose, it might feel easier to. You might treat yourself to something special or simply enjoy a sense of accomplishment and fulfilment.

#thoughtfultuesday

What is a kind thing to say or do for someone else today?

There is always a need for kindness. To be kind towards yourself, others and earth, what can you do? Recycle, listen to birds on a walk, help a stranger to carry something or setting a boundary towards others for your own peace of mind, heart and health, are a couple of examples.

#wellnesswednesday

What is something you can do for your health today?

Ensuring our needs are met, is a good way of ensuring a good health to the best of our ability. Feel in your body what these needs are and give it that, whether it’s more sleep, water, exercise, food or a good cry.

#thankfulthursday

What are you grateful for today, or this week?

By listing what we’re grateful for, both big and small, both for things we have, what we’ve experienced, and what we’ve been on the receiving end of by others in our interactions, we can increase a feeling of content and happiness, and attract more of the same.

#freedomfriday

What can you do to feel free today?

Let your hair down, dance around, go for a ride on a bike or a horse, or even in your car through nature, can help you feel free. It can also be to write without censoring yourself in a journal, and explore all your opinions, values, dreams and ideas.

#sustainabilitysaturday

What can you change on your shoppinglist today?

We all like nice, new, shiny things, but do we need it all, or can we buy different kinds that are better for both our own health, as well as our planet? To live more sustainable, choose both things that last longer (its original meaning) and is eco-friendly and with biological ingredients, whenever possible. You might also opt for vintage or swop clothes with friends and neighbors, as well as think of using renewable sources of energy in your home and office.

#spiritualsunday

What can you do to honor your spirit today?

This day of the week, has always been earmarked for a day of rest and spiritual nourishment. Whether you prefer to attend church, read the Bible at home or chant a Buddhist prayer, what is something you can do today to reflect on your being and how to improve? It might also be a day for you to spend some time in solitude and serenity, as well as plan for the week ahead.

Humankind has always wanted to make sense of life and this starts by observing nature and trying to understand how it works. Its starting point is. that everything can be divided into dark and light, night and day, winter and summer, feminine and masculine, yin and yang. Everything is in motion towards one or the other, all intertwined and affecting each other. Our bodies in turn, can also be interpreted within the same framework, where some of our organs are considered yin and others yang, according to Chinese Medicine. If we’d like to, we can also translate this into how we best create balance and beauty with comfort in our homes, to set the stage for us to grow in abundance, health and prosperity, called Feng Shui. All based on using the natural elements to create harmony for our health.

Winter is considered yin, and is represented by water (kidneys) moving towards wood (liver and gall bladder). Spring is considered growing into yang, moving towards fire (heart). Summer is yang and fire, moving towards air (lungs and large intestines) becoming yin, ie fall. To make it even more interesting, one can also connect each organ with an emotion, such as anger lives in the liver, love lives in the heart, fear in the kidneys, pondering is in the spleen and stomach (earth), while stress and grief becomes affected through the lungs and large intestines, where our skin can be looked upon as our third lung. Seeking to balance all these, is to seek health. Both acupuncture and Qigong are used for this, while we also can seek to understand these dynamics in the way we dance – from contraction to expansion, and in all their variations.

To improve your decision making, asking these questions, can help you see clearer if the choice you’re about to make, will help you achieve your goals and are in alignment with your values. They come from the book with the same title, by Debbie Ford:

1. Will this choice propel me toward an inspiring future or will it keep me stuck in the past?

2. Will this choice bring me long-term fulfilment or will it bring me short-term gratification?

3. Am I standing in my power or am I trying to please another?

4. Am I looking for what’s right or am I looking for what’s wrong?

5. Will this choice add to my life force or will it rob me of my energy?

6. Will I use this situation as a catalyst to grow and evolve or will I use it to beat myself up?

7. Does this choice empower me or does it disempower me?

8. Is this an act of self-love or is it an act of self-sabotage?

9. Is this an act of faith or is it an act of fear?

10. Am I choosing from my divinity or am I choosing from my humanity?

Using these questions, let you try your perspective and reasons for choosing what you do.

To live the life you would like, having a coach to discuss these with, can help you. Contact me for a session by Zoom (or in person if you’re in Stockholm, Sweden), where we start probing into which changes you desire and why, which problems you might have that you want to solve, and what your needs are.

It was when I worked as an editor for a fitness club member magazine 23 years ago, that we talked about how to make New Years resolutions work. Many, like to get fit, loose weight, quit smoking and so forth, and make this into a resolution, but often not lasting more than a month. Why is that, and how can we change it?

After reading Cheryl Richardson’s books, newsletters and watching her Life-makeover series on Oprah, I came up with the idea to instead decide on a word that can be used as a focus for the upcoming year, and have shared this in my own coaching newsletters since 2002. I used to journal on it, after practicing yoga as my own little ritual at home, for a couple of years. It’s not a goal that I’m trying to manifest, intend or achieve, but instead something that can guide my personal growth and journey towards creating more peace, love and happiness. In 2021, I had Integrity as my theme, in 2022 Posture, as my focus word and thus I practiced on improving my posture as often as I could remember, such as when standing in line somewhere. This year, I’ve had Enthusiasm as my theme. With this, I’ve simply asked myself if any decisions or choices I’m standing before, ignites my enthusiasm. It has, and thus I’ve let it guide me. In 2024, I intend to focus on Relationships, ie how I relate.

By nature, each action has a reaction, or simply put its opposite reflection. A desired change, therefore often produces a feeling of resistance. But, resistance tells us that we must understand why, we need to change, and let this friction within (and outside of us) become the fuel, the actual energy, with which we can implement change.

For success to be possible, we must create the right conditions for it to happen. It’s like making sure we have the right pot, soil, water and light, rather than asking the plant to grow faster or taller or bigger. It will naturally do so, when the conditions are right for it. This is an important part of lifecoaching – it’s not about struggling to reach a goal, but to look into what needs to be done to do so.

What do you feel would help you, to focus on next year?

While I was thinking of my cousin yesterday and how we’ve spent some fun Christmases growing up, some years, I received an insight. I’ve decided to make Relationships my theme for 2024, and while contemplating this, I felt called to remember that I must resume taking the lead. I’ve most often done so, most of my life, whether it’s been creating a new subsection of our local riding club, suggesting improvements at the workplace, being president for the south county fraternity for former exchange students, or simply being the first one that enters the dancefloor on a club, it’s been me. During spring 2003, I decided to not run for becoming the president of another fraternity organization at the university, like I first thought of, but instead be the one suggesting others for the election committee. I shouldn’t have done that. I thought of it, as something that leaders also do – enabling others to take the spotlight and support them. But, I am a leader, and I should not step aside out of false humility, to not always be the one in the limelight. I can have that position.

In my relationships, I’ve done the same to feel accepted, and to not create friction, but often felt like I’ve had to compromise away my preferences and priorities. Now, that’s no good for anyone. So, I visualised, and tuned into, the feeling of taking the lead again, also in my relationships. Not necessarily always taking the initiative, but to reclaim my power and lead again. To step back into my confidence and invite others to tag along.

Looking forward to try this in 2024!

Are you wondering why you are not reaching your goals or manifesting your intentions? Take heart, you’re not alone, and you are not a lesser of a successful person. Your success can only be truly measured by comparing yourself with yourself and your actual abilities.

For us to create the life we want, there are two things we need to have in mind, that can hinder us.

1. Your own ability to follow through: After you set an intention, such as getting an idea and sending it out as a wish to Universe, you must follow up with action towards its fulfilment. In fact, I believe that setting an intention, is like throwing out a fishing net. If we’re not careful, someone else might try to steal our catch, simply by being quicker than we are, by noticing it, or just have more resources at hand to.
2. Other people’s decisions: Whether it’s a matter of getting your applications denied, trends in society, lack of replies, change of laws, or even wars, others can, and will, try to get in your way.

(For example, when Instagram started in 2010, I didn’t have the means to buy an iPhone in the US, where I was, so I couldn’t “jump on the train”, as well as having to deal with authorities and their decisions for many years. I also had to live without owning my own computer in Sweden for several years, even though I’m a professional copywriter and need one to work.)

Unfortunately, in today’s society, it’s looked upon as of lesser value to not have millions of followers, a high income and/or to own your own business. This is far from true. What would these people be without their followers or customers? Not to mention students. If everybody decided to become teachers, who would they teach if not some of us accepted our levels, and devoted ourselves to be good students? So, to make next year a better year than this one, simply focus on this to begin with:

What can you improve and how?

Go through all the pieces of the pie; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Add socially, financially and logistically. Set a goal for each, and make a list of priorities. Notice that some of your goals may be the resource to another, such as having a good health or steady income. Thus, these needs to be fulfilled and reached first in order for you to work on getting onto the next one.

My own example is, that I’d like to ensure that all my teeth are fixed before going to the United States, since in order to do the same treatment of getting dental implants there, I would have to be a taxpaying resident for five years first, to be allowed to use my Swedish healthcare system benefit (I still have my lower jar to do, my upper jar took 3 years.). I also want to ensure that I have the right diagnosis filled out in my forms, and heal the health issues I have, as much as possible, including recovery. I also would like to have my business plan updated, my social media, and finish writing my third book, so that I can devote my time, when I do move, to work with full force. And when I have this in order, I can also devote some of my time, to develop new relationships.