The way we look at others, often defines how we treat them. This in turn can easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy, where we seek to validate our own bias, prejudice and simply view. This has been proven through a series of studies made by McGregor, who found that when leaders believed more in their employees’ abilities, they seemed to perform better and showed more autonomy and creativity. Likewise, when managers didn’t, those employees tended to make more mistakes and perform less well. McGregor referred to this, as Theory X vs Theory Y. Since we’re all interdependent, we need to have this in mind, so we all can help each other to blossom, starting with your own view of yourself. You can be a resource!

Being a resource is, being willing to contribute with your time, skills, knowledge, creativity, problem solving, money, experiences, people skills, personality traits, voice and will. Knowing that you have this within you, is the first step. And your combination is most certainly unique. Acknowledge this!

Then, you can make an inventory, either by assessing this on your own, or together with a lifecoach. Write down what you like doing and what you’re good at. This can be things like working independently and doing oral presentations, or it can be taking care of customers and cleaning. You can find this, by exemplifying what you have done and learned throughout your work experiences, as well as during internships, volunteering and your education. Perhaps, you have a favourite pastime that includes leadership skills or artistry. These are valuable assets you own, that you need to cultivate and use.

After having this in front of you, you can ask what you can do with it. Where could these resources be used and for whom? Who would benefit learning from you? Or using you, to produce or serve others? Make a list of prospective employers and contact them! You can also try to find a mentor, who already works with something you’d like to, and learn about his or her way to get there.

Last but not least. Whenever you encounter someone you don’t particularly like, or get into an argument with – try to find something positive about him or her. What can he or she contribute with? What can you learn from him or her? And how can he or she help you?

You can read more about Theory X and Theory Y here.

Every time I’ve practiced Isadora Duncan dance for more than an hour, I feel so refreshed! I feel I have more space, more time, and more freedom to create. I can for example, work more focused with my translation assignment, and write with more flow. It’s like an expansion within, that I can’t explain without saying that it’s also a practice for my soul, and a liberation of my mind.

While I’m dancing, I can also at times, feel joy spring forth. Then this, becomes its own reward.

Our reward, is what most often motivates us. We want to receive something in return for our effort. Usually, money is our greatest motivating factor. When we work, we do this to pay our bills and survive, but this most always includes stress, which in turn might have a negative effect on our performance, leading us to struggle even more. And while we all need money, and this is the most common reward and driver, having your passion as your favorite pastime, enables you to receive another reward, gratifying beyond the material. What is that for you? What brings you joy, that you can do, without making money on it? Lifecoaching can help you find out.

I was always the one helping my mother to repot our plants, growing up. I liked taking out weeds in our garden and raking the yard. Growing up in the 80’s in Sweden, was also when the environmental movement took root. We started recycling paper and cardboard, and my brother recycled bottles for coins in return. We also started using less toxic detergents, that my mother loved to curb our allergies and sensitivities with. Besides this and caring for my bunny, I loved horseback riding and enjoyed our little hikes in the forest. I dreamt of being able to ride like a Native American Indian and wanted to be a Shaman, the way my grandfather had a drawing with, on his wall, that I later inherited. I often felt one with the horse, and read two books about horse psychology in an effort to become like the Horse Whisperer. We never threw trash on the ground and while I was still a teenager, I did feel certain that voting no against nuclear power plants would be the best option for our future. My future. We lived close by one, for a while, close enough to remember the drills with our phones ringing to warn us of any leaks in preparation. I felt one with nature.

In the 90’s, I worked for TetraPak as a mail-runner and after continuing to take my first year in Communication and Media basics, I got to intern at their information department, as their first one. One afternoon, I got to join them for a meeting at a remote location, filled with acres of peat, cultivating for years into becoming organic soil. A soil, I still use, for all my plants. No wonder then, that I also used recycled paper for my invoices and to my first set of business cards, as a freelancing copywriter! Raw and light brown, with a logo in green. I also became a vegetarian and started to eat organic. And went to San Francisco to see if I could move there, where much of the Green and Women Liberations movements had begun, but also understood it would be hard with English as my second language to pursue copywriting.

In 2004, at my first visit to Hawaii, I also visited Big Island and saw the Volcano spit her lava and how land was created. It gave me a spiritual experience that opened up for deepening my connection to earth and gain an understanding of how we must relate to the land, to really be part of the eco-system more consciously. In 2005, this cultural pursuit became solidified by learning how to dance Hula, upon West African dance. It was also now that I began to only use hair-, face-, and body-care products, made of biological ingredients. And learning more about how important the ocean also is.

In 2008, I became a member of the Green Environmental Party in Sweden, after having been loyal to WWF all my life. And I had just started to ponder, if I should pursue a political career, to work towards making green standards become the norm, when I was made homeless after having to wait for years to fix my teeth. I moved back to the United States instead and had hoped to build and start Telluselle Living Center in San Francisco in 2011, after becoming a member of Kanu Hawaii and getting a tip from one of their founders about Bamboo Living.

I had no idea, that living healthy and eco-friendly with a spiritual touch, would ever be considered something politically inflammable, that has become something to overcome first. But luckily, after beginning to learn how to dance the Isadora Duncan style and understanding how this cultural activist of her time, also started off her creativity by dancing in nature, it has enabled me to add an important piece to the puzzle. Isadora was of course, born in San Francisco, letting me come full circle, with a focus on creating a sustainable society through the arts.

Just like Isadora Duncan, Gabrielle Roth was also born in San Francisco. She overcame a knee injury and an anorectic self-consciousness, by finding a connection to wholeness, through movement. Turning inwardly rather than staring down oneself in the mirrors. She established her practice in the early 1970’s and took it to New York and the rest of the world. Gabrielle defined her dance practice as The Wave; going from Flowing, Staccato and Chaos to Lyrical and Stillness, that can be translated into the five natural elements. These are a perfect combination to also explore our emotions, ranging from fear and anger, to joy and compassion, as well as ways of surrendering through improvisation. Dancing 5 rhythms is about daring to let your body lead, to let go, to simply dance the way it feels natural and needed for you, making you feel more grounded and connected.

Gabrielle Roth also incorporated the use of African dance and Yoga, to connect the fluidity and breath with various rhythms. She made several records, as well as wrote three books, to teach us to Sweat our prayers. She was inspired by Shamanism and the desire to heal.

The 5rhythms and Ecstatic dance, suits all people wanting to liberate themselves through spontaneous movement, going through the whole body. Have you tried it?

Since the Hawaiian language from the beginning only was oral and not written, everything was shared though storytelling, chants, songs and dances. Hawaiian Hula depicts the various places of the islands, the history of battles and kings, the love for one another, and the spiritual facets of the traditional beliefs and legends. Thus, Hula is a form of storytelling to music. When the white settlers came to the islands, Hula was banned for some years, but thanks to King Kalakaua, it was reclaimed and are now even part of church services at times.

There are many forms of Hula, where the two major kinds are called Hula ‘Auana; modern, danced to the ukulele, and Hula Kahiko; old, danced to the ‘Ipu Heke, a gourd drum. The focus of Hula lies in the motions of the hands and the hips, with bent knees, but one creates beauty through the dance and one’s character living righteous (pono) and in compassion and generosity (aloha) rather than just seeking it by looks. Even so, certain type of dresses and skirts goes with certain type of songs and places, as well as the choice of colors, and types of flower-garlands (leis). The best hula is a communication that forwards the meaning through spirit and the dancer, to the audience, becoming one. Most often, men dance separately from women, with a variation of steps.

To become a Kumu Hula; a teacher, one has to train extensively with someone who already is, often through one’s family lineage, and be initiated through proper protocol and evaluation. At Telluselle Living Center, we will only have Hawaiian Kumus teaching Hula.

Photo borrowed from Wikipedia.

African dance, is a form of barefoot dance, expressed to live drummers. Whether to celebrate a rite of passage or a harvest, African dance motions aim to depict these, in harmony with nature. In the United States, these type of dances were brought into the country by the slaves, who used it both to socialize among themselves, as well as to liberate their bodies after hard labor. Each country has their own rhythms, some even can be attributed to a certain village, and they’re not as simple as we’re used to, using the count of eight or three, but more eclectic. Women and men can both dance separately and together, depending on the occasion. Much of the modern music, such as jazz and soul, have their roots in African rhythms. They must be experienced!

At Telluselle Living Center, there will be West African dance classes.

Photo of a painting, borrowed from Alamy.

Today, when I woke up, I guessed the time and when checking my phone, it was exactly that on the dot. I love having this ability! It’s how I feel in tune with nature and the course of life. I used to practice this with the sun, which in Hawaii is fairly easy, given the daylight stays almost constant throughout the year. But, what about the very cloudy and dark days in Sweden, then? Like today, it’s both foggy and cloudy and the sun is nowhere to be seen….

In Portugal, I learned that this feeling can also come with the shift of the tide, that too can be perceived physically. If you think about it, since we’re made of mostly water, it’s no wonder we’re in tune also with the water levels on the planet.

How is it where you live? Can you look out the window and tell what time it is? Have it a go!

Photo from Sao Joao de Estoril, in Portugal.

In Sweden, we call St Valentine’s Day for All Hearts’ Day. It’s a name I like. While celebrating a Saint is one thing, celebrating love in general, is far more important. So, what better day than today, to remind ourselves of the many kinds of love we have:

Romantic love (for sensual partnership)

Friendship love (for fun, for trust and for support)

Family love (to be fully known)

Classmates love (for growing together in knowledge)

Co-workers love (for respect, accomplishments and mentoring)

Pet love (for unconditional attention and touch)

Nature love (for beauty, oneness and belonging)

Human to human love (for compassion and empathy)

Divine love (for Agape and being loved by God)

Self-love (for protecting ourselves and have good health)

The most crucial thing that I live by, is focusing rather on being loving, ie to love, rather than worrying about who I’m loved by. I also try to remember that we can’t receive all types of validation from the same person. Therefore, it’s more important, how many I can love.

We post on social media, text each other, and chat. We listen to webinars about prosperity and watch teachers talk about how to find bliss and success. But nowhere, seems there to be any real dialogues. No actual replies based on your specific situation, conditions or concern. This is my specialty as a lifecoach, whether for one-on-one sessions or for small groups (up to a dozen). The absolute prerequisite to holding an authentic dialogue, is assuming a genuine stance of respect, honesty and equality, with an open mind, and a willingness to let the conversation flow and develop on its own.

Typically, we decide a time and place beforehand, where a level of confidentiality can be held, and with a set agenda, ie a decided topic or issue to discuss. This isn’t to prepare some kind of oral examination, it’s more to have an agreed upon focus for our dialogue. A topic can be a special situation, relationship, or problem in need of solving, or it can be an exploration and discovery of various themes, that we want to define and find coherence for together. The whole purpose of a dialogue, is to listen and clarify things, where the answer you give, leads to the next question becoming posed by the coach. The result is a solution, or conclusion, coming from yourself with a more varied perspective and will to act on. Contact me to try! The first session is for free.

Many of the qigong motions are made to balance yin and yang, heaven and earth and corresponding organs and energy within ourselves. This particular motion is called “Picking a Lotus flower”:

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Have you tried it?

All dance classes start with a thorough warm-up, needed to be able to do the motions fully without harming ourselves. After this, we might focus on practicing certain steps a little extra, before we take on practicing an actual dance. To learn a dance, these things are taken into account:

Technique – how we do certain motions

Choreography – which motions we do and in which order

Presentation – the way we express ourselves

Music – what we dance to and in what style

Context – any symbolism, such as legends or stories that are told through the lyrics and motions

All this becomes easier, when we also dare to relate personally to what we’re doing. Finding our own correlated meaning, through our own emotions and experiences, makes for a better performance. Tuning in to my own memories of San Francisco thus, made it easier to dance Hawaiian Hula to this song:

https://vimeo.com/1007416240?share=copy

More about my dancing can be found here.

A good way to practice mindfulness, is to become more aware of our senses and both be present and communicate what they’re telling us. While meditation helps us focus inwardly, and make our sensory input secondary, practicing mindful presence, requires the opposite. Here is how to exercise that:

While puttering around your house, take a pause and reflect on your senses:

What are you watching?

What are you hearing?

What are you smelling?

What are you touching?

What are you tasting?

And, how does these make you feel? If you express this orally at the same time you take notice, it becomes a way to feel more awake and aware, thus becoming more present.

Do you remember the hashtag #throwbackthursday? It was huge several years ago, when everybody were posting old photos of themselves together with the tag. In the vicinity of these years, I thought it would be fun to use an alliteration for the rest of the days of the week too, but for self-care and lifecoaching purposes. Since I haven’t been able to sit down in my own apartment and be creative for many years, it has taken me until now to pursue this idea, but here it is! Having a theme for the day, can both be helpful when it comes to better take good care of ourselves, and be a focus for posting something on social media. So, please spread and use as much as you’d like!

#motivationmonday

What is a reward you’ll feel, or can give yourself, after doing what you want to do?

To increase our motivation, we need inspiration and focus. By thinking about why you need to do something; defining a purpose, it might feel easier to. You might treat yourself to something special or simply enjoy a sense of accomplishment and fulfilment.

#thoughtfultuesday

What is a kind thing to say or do for someone else today?

There is always a need for kindness. To be kind towards yourself, others and earth, what can you do? Recycle, listen to birds on a walk, help a stranger to carry something or setting a boundary towards others for your own peace of mind, heart and health, are a couple of examples.

#wellnesswednesday

What is something you can do for your health today?

Ensuring our needs are met, is a good way of ensuring a good health to the best of our ability. Feel in your body what these needs are and give it that, whether it’s more sleep, water, exercise, food or a good cry.

#thankfulthursday

What are you grateful for today, or this week?

By listing what we’re grateful for, both big and small, both for things we have, what we’ve experienced, and what we’ve been on the receiving end of by others in our interactions, we can increase a feeling of content and happiness, and attract more of the same.

#freedomfriday

What can you do to feel free today?

Let your hair down, dance around, go for a ride on a bike or a horse, or even in your car through nature, can help you feel free. It can also be to write without censoring yourself in a journal, and explore all your opinions, values, dreams and ideas.

#sustainabilitysaturday

What can you change on your shoppinglist today?

We all like nice, new, shiny things, but do we need it all, or can we buy different kinds that are better for both our own health, as well as our planet? To live more sustainable, choose both things that last longer (its original meaning) and is eco-friendly and with biological ingredients, whenever possible. You might also opt for vintage or swop clothes with friends and neighbors, as well as think of using renewable sources of energy in your home and office.

#spiritualsunday

What can you do to honor your spirit today?

This day of the week, has always been earmarked for a day of rest and spiritual nourishment. Whether you prefer to attend church, read the Bible at home or chant a Buddhist prayer, what is something you can do today to reflect on your being and how to improve? It might also be a day for you to spend some time in solitude and serenity, as well as plan for the week ahead.

Humankind has always wanted to make sense of life and this starts by observing nature and trying to understand how it works. Its starting point is. that everything can be divided into dark and light, night and day, winter and summer, feminine and masculine, yin and yang. Everything is in motion towards one or the other, all intertwined and affecting each other. Our bodies in turn, can also be interpreted within the same framework, where some of our organs are considered yin and others yang, according to Chinese Medicine. If we’d like to, we can also translate this into how we best create balance and beauty with comfort in our homes, to set the stage for us to grow in abundance, health and prosperity, called Feng Shui. All based on using the natural elements to create harmony for our health.

Winter is considered yin, and is represented by water (kidneys) moving towards wood (liver and gall bladder). Spring is considered growing into yang, moving towards fire (heart). Summer is yang and fire, moving towards air (lungs and large intestines) becoming yin, ie fall. To make it even more interesting, one can also connect each organ with an emotion, such as anger lives in the liver, love lives in the heart, fear in the kidneys, pondering is in the spleen and stomach (earth), while stress and grief becomes affected through the lungs and large intestines, where our skin can be looked upon as our third lung. Seeking to balance all these, is to seek health. Both acupuncture and Qigong are used for this, while we also can seek to understand these dynamics in the way we dance – from contraction to expansion, and in all their variations.