Today it was below freezing in Stockholm, Sweden, when I woke up and my soar throat had gotten worse. It made me realise how grateful I am to have and be able to drink the kind of teas I prefer. I have chosen this brand since more than two decades regardless of whether I’ve lived in Sweden, Germany, Portugal or the United States and feel happy with them. In the morning, I enjoy Ginger-Lemon with honey, to wake me up gently and boost my immune system. When I want to give myself some more care, I choose a cup of Green Chai.

In the afternoon, I like to drink some Hibiscus tea that is both refreshing and re-energising without any caffeine. Sometimes I choose Echinacea to curb a cold or regular green tea to aid digestion.

All in all, making conscious decisions with awareness enable us both to feel free and in charge of our lives, at least in this department. And of course, this means that we can set the conditions for good health the way we want. A true life coaching necessity.

Which teas do you prefer? Or do you prefer coffee? And do you consciously choose tastes and brands when you go shopping?

One way to ignite your creativity and ensure that it’s not just a mere exploration of your imagination, is to think of something you would like to change or improve. This can be a method or a process on your job, the way you think about something, a problem you’d like to solve, or a call to create an actual invention. Our change in society is driven by creativity. We invent new technologies and through the use of it by majority, we also change our society. Some of these might feel imposed, just like when someone suggests a change on your job that you feel resistant or question to implement. But nonetheless, these inventions might be important to get to know so you can make an educated choice whether or not to adapt or to check in with what is working well to keep.

A way to think about changes thus, is through the lens of creativity. You reach these through posing curious questions like:

What would I like to change and improve?

How can I approach these changes too?

How can I benefit from undertaking this change?

How can I solve this problem?

Why is there a need to change?

How do I want it to look like?

What do I need to learn?

Who can I do this together with?

To help you see various perspectives and narrow down which action-steps you need to take in order to change, as well as come up with ideas how, meetings with a life coach like me will enable you unbiased and empowering support.

When you look at a change as a prompt for creativity, it becomes more of a positive experience.

Now that we’ve entered the month of November and thus are approaching Thanksgiving in the United States (It’s already been in Canada, and in Sweden we celebrate a day of gratitude the second Sunday in October), it seems like an opportune time to delve deeper into the practice of gratitude. Normally, I write down things that I’m grateful for once a week in a journal. But this can be expanded into areas, where each area can get their own attention and examples of appreciation.

So, the challenge is to write down 10 things you’re grateful for in 10 areas of your life! Areas can be:

• Health
• Family
• Home
• Work
• Friends
• Faith
• Past-time pursuits
• Finances
• Nature
• Knowledge

What we are grateful is of course individual, but it can be of things we have received, it can be meetings and what someone has said or done, what we feel we have and enjoy.

Take out your journal, or make lists on your computer! By all means, share it too. And remember, the more we’re sincerely grateful for, the more we’ll notice and receive.

Whenever we dread something, feel nervous and anxious, or simply don’t know how to navigate around an obstacle, it’s easy to focus on the actual obstacle, trying to overcome it. This however, will only make the obstacle feel unsurmountable and bigger than it usually is. As someone who used to horseback ride a lot growing up, I’ve learned a trick.

When a rider sets out to jump an obstacle course, it’s crucial to look over the obstacles and onto the way or even to the finish-line. If we look directly at the obstacle, the horse stops and doesn’t want to jump over it. Through this, we can learn that if we focus on what is coming next, or what we’re going to do once we’re done with the scary dentist appointment or other thing, our mindset can shift into seeing it just as a step on the way. So next time you find yourself facing an obstacle, think of what you’re going to do after it. This way, you’ll feel less pressure and more flow.

Last night when I practiced Isadora Duncan dance at home, I wore my new built-in top and it was such a relief! In the beginning when I started dance practicing ballet and jazz dance growing up, we all wore leotards and tights to enable the teacher to see our lines and correct our motions, besides staying warm. Then doing other styles as an adult and with fashion changing to jazz pants and yoga leggings, it became natural to let go of the leotards and use a regular tank top and bra instead with them, which of course covered up my self-consciousness as well. Wearing a bra, one would think would be needed for a see-through silk tunic too. However, that would go against Isadora Duncan’s whole idea – Dancing: The highest intelligence in the freest body.

It does make a difference! Wearing a bra restricts both our back and shoulders, arms and chest, and makes it harder to dance simply – a must to let go of. And being grateful for my small chest size instead, exactly enables me to dance. So, now I’m back to wearing soft tops and leotards again, and therethrough receive unrestrained breathing and movement, letting each dance motion extend from within. Then something wonderful happens. A free body, enables our spirit to feel free and through this freedom, joy can spring forth.

Yesterday while I was doing laundry, one of my neighbours and I started talking. He shared that he bartends in a club that has Stand Up Comedy performers and urged me to come and check it out. It got me thinking when I came home, how we all need a good laugh now and then. And how I produce them, to make myself feel better.

Life can be very tragic. And often, just like with the old Greek theatre masks, sometimes we might put up a face opposite from what we feel, like smiling when we’re sad. But sometimes, we can also have a hard time staying serious, when what we’re facing seems hilarious to us. I’ve learned that being transparent and authentic decreases the drama and real connections can instead forge; to let our face display what we truly feel. I’ve often been told that mine is like an open book. And while this might sound embarrassing to some, to me it’s a relief to not have to hide anything or having to put up an act among others, and therefore not be afraid that any skeletons would fall out of the closet.

So, to give myself a good laugh, I usually just turn to my own imagination. I imagine a scenario with whomever I’ve interacted with, or am about to, or through my own wishful thinking too of course. When these play out in my mind, I naturally start laughing. It lessens tension and lifts up my mood. It’s not like joy, that stems from within through an actual experience, but it still makes us feel better.

Which kind of entertainment do you take to, to relieve stress and get a good laugh?

Photo of masks borrowed from this site, where you also can read more about them.

A while back, I heard someone saying that he didn’t believe we could change our thoughts and that is why he was stuck in depression so long. I couldn’t disagree more. Changing our thoughts is exactly what we can change! And by doing so, we can change how we feel. We do this by changing perspective. The best way I know, is by applying the opposite. Sometimes, we just need to put something aside, let go deliberately and do something else physically for example. But at best, we’re able to process what we think and feel so that we might come to a different understanding, even by choice. When this process of change has taken hold within, we’re able to embody it and thus transform our mood, emotions, and energy.

To use the opposite, try thinking of what would make you happy about a situation rather than sad, pleased rather than annoyed, loving rather than hateful, inspired rather than envious, caring instead of harmful and so forth. It can be done by assuming a stance of pity at first of the other, growing into compassion. It can be finding what you’re grateful for not to have to endure yourself, and for what you have. And it can be to assume leadership and taking charge of what you’d like to do and begin to!

Even better is, that we by transforming this energy ourselves, also can transform the energy of a room, an event or a situation. It can be by bringing stillness and calm into riled up arguments, to bring order into chaos and to bring discipline and focus into disarray and upset, when there is drama without real threats. Often, it’s just a matter of standing our ground, standing tall, and remaining firm. To me, this is even what doing the yoga pose Vrikshasana (the tree) is about. To sway if we must, but to keep the balance. With the add of a prayer, we can even transform it into love with forgiveness.

As with most things in life, how we think and feel becomes a decision.

To read examples of you can transform different feelings into their opposite positives, click here.

Whenever things happen to us that we feel have been upsetting, or even traumatic, we can reframe the event to make ourselves feel better and lift ourselves out of the emotional state of victimhood, by choosing how we look at it.

First, we can look at it as a lesson to be learned. Is there something the other person has said or done, that we can take in and delve upon as a lesson? Maybe it’s just a matter of communication and learning to be more clear, direct, and distinct, when we talk. Maybe it’s a matter of daring to set a boundary more firmly and having done so, can sometimes result in a reaction that becomes offensive. And that can be what is behind another’s accusations.

Second, we can look at it as a test of our own values and integrity. The more someone wants to speak badly about me, and for the most part based on total lies or unfounded accusations, without ever talking to me directly, the more I stand tall in my own convictions. I get to try what really is true, who I am really, and where I stand in this issue. And through this, I grow in integrity. Something that also allows me to let go of another’s opinion and continue on my own path with more openness towards others instead.

When we face what we’re not, we see what we are. Someone much better, and therethrough this instead, becomes confirmed. All resulting in a better sense of self and confidence.

There is something very grounding and uplifting to walk on sand with bare feet, enjoying the sun. It’s also a very special feeling to walk through the forest and meeting wild animals, among the scent of lush trees and wild flowers. Altogether it gives me a sense of place, that I now have begun to feel connected to, through my na’au, as it’s called in Hawaii – my invisible umbilical cord that I have with my home. I think it’s through this connection, our energy merge with the mana (core power essence) of the land, so that we become one with it. And this is what is shared, when we dance Hula.

So, I jumped at the opportunity to go down to the seaside where I live, a couple of days ago, when we had some more summer warmth and sunshine and the little beach not so crowded, so that I could dance a little, barefoot on the sand. And while the music is Hawaiian and the lyrics describe life in Hawaii, I dance to what I can relate to, both there and here.

The dance thus can begin to become an extension of me, rather than just something I try to portray, I hope! Here is a clip:

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A post shared by Hannah Telluselle (@hannah_telluselle)

Aloha!

One of my personal development goals in the late 90’s, when I first started reading self-help books and decided to become a career coach, was to become a better listener. By reading the book Co-Active Coaching and by practicing with clients, I learned that not only did I need to be more present, but in fact we become more present, when we learn to let go of our own preconceived notions and listen with intent.

There are three levels of listening according to Whitworth and Kimsey-House.

The first level: We might hear what the other is saying, but mostly we’re thinking about what to say ourselves, or what the other means, thus listening more to our own thoughts than the person talking.

The second level: We listen with more presence and more professionally, to what is being said verbally, but might at times wander.

The third level: We listen with full presence, not deciding what to answer until the other has finished talking. We also listen to the cues not spoken, such as any emotional charge behind the words, what the body language is conveying and whether there are awkward pauses or hesitancies. Then we can address these too, while we summarize what we heard our clients say, to better phrase the next question in order to develop the coaching session further.

When we listen from a neutral stance, the other person feels more heard. Try it!

This meditation is inspired by Hawaiian healing practices. Go and watch the real sunset if you can. Let your eyes linger softly at the horizon, slightly below the sun. Or watch a photo for a while. Connect with the sun.

Take a deep breath. 

Visualize the sun entering your solar plexus. Let the light expand inside of you.

Breathe in the light.

Think of any harsh words or actions anyone has done to you lately. See them as little rocks that you can pick out of your own bowl of light. 

Pick up the imaginary rock symbolizing a negative interaction. Think of the person, and incident, and inhale. Say to yourself:

I release you. I let go. I forgive you. I’m free.

Exhale.

Do this as many times as you need. Return to your center and feel your bowl of light fill up.

Inhale.

Feel your peace and power return to you.

Exhale.

Bow in gratitude and humility. Thank you!

To listen to it, click here!

Have we gotten stuck in our comfort zones when it comes to online practices, or has it become the only way possible? Which are the pro’s and con’s of practicing at home, whether on your own, or online together with others, and on site? Does it even matter which type of practice it is, such as qigong, yoga or various dance styles?

When I scrutinize myself, I’ve come to the conclusion that these are the factors to consider:

Practicing at home/online:

• Access to other forms and teachers than who might be available in your area (such as Hawaiian Hula for me in Sweden)
• Access to recorded material makes it easier to break down and repeat specific steps
• Access to recorded material and replays, makes it possible to practice at any time and day that suits you the best
• No, or less, interactions with others
• Not enough space to fully inhabit and express yourself
• Easier to postpone and practice less
• Perfect and keep it up meanwhile

Practicing on site:

• Paid in advance makes you more prone to attend regularly
• Social interactions and meeting new likeminded peers
• More focus with less distractions
• Bigger space to move around in
• Getting outside to take yourself to class
• More and easier to receive feedback from the teacher
• Mirrors to see yourself better

What do you think? Do you rather practice at home and online, or on site? Is it even a question about what’s more important – freedom and autonomy, or belonging?