Whenever things happen to us that we feel have been upsetting, or even traumatic, we can reframe the event to make ourselves feel better and lift ourselves out of the emotional state of victimhood, by choosing how we look at it.

First, we can look at it as a lesson to be learned. Is there something the other person has said or done, that we can take in and delve upon as a lesson? Maybe it’s just a matter of communication and learning to be more clear, direct, and distinct, when we talk. Maybe it’s a matter of daring to set a boundary more firmly and having done so, can sometimes result in a reaction that becomes offensive. And that can be what is behind another’s accusations.

Second, we can look at it as a test of our own values and integrity. The more someone wants to speak badly about me, and for the most part based on total lies or unfounded accusations, without ever talking to me directly, the more I stand tall in my own convictions. I get to try what really is true, who I am really, and where I stand in this issue. And through this, I grow in integrity. Something that also allows me to let go of another’s opinion and continue on my own path with more openness towards others instead.

When we face what we’re not, we see what we are. Someone much better, and therethrough this instead, becomes confirmed. All resulting in a better sense of self and confidence.