Ever wondered why a coaching session only should last for 45 minutes? This is because, 45 minutes is the proven time that we can remain focused and listen, before we need to take a break. Most of us enter conversations with a set of emotions that we either carry due to other people and circumstances, or due to a previous meeting or talk that had us become upset, or even positively anticipating and expecting, that we might now fall short of. This together with the need of processing what has been said, and what we would like to say and how, makes it important to learn how to do this before and after, so that we better can enter a dialogue refreshed.

A dialogue is by nature a conversation built on mutual respect, interest and confirmed conditions, such as when, where and how we’re going to hold it. Furthermore, a dialogue is concentrated on finding out more about a person or an issue, rather than stating one’s opinion. At best, a good dialogue enables an insight to unfold and a solution to become proposed by the person in need. This is what Socrates referred to as using the dialogue as a maternity technique.

In order to conduct such a dialogue, or a coaching session, we need to let go of our preconceived notions, to reset our minds and hearts to neutral with an openness to connect with compassion, but also to dare challenge the other. We need to have our own needs met, as in being rested and prepared, so that we can assume full presence. We do this, by listening deeply to what the other person is conveying by tone, choice of words, pauses, body language and any emotional charge behind the words. We do this, by taking on a positive approach where we do believe in the other person’s capacity and ability to solve his or her problem, or simply clarify goals and needs, and how to meet them. We also do this, by showing up as ourselves, with honesty and trust, so that the other can relax and feel safe with us.

When both client and coach show up with the same will to succeed, success will follow.