Some people say there’s a reason for everything and refer to God’s plan. Others say we can’t always get answers to our questions while they console “why me” feelings. I say there’s a human reason for everything and we just need to recall how a conflict started and dare to look into what caused it, taking both sides into account. If you can change the cause, you can change the outcome.

For example, while it’s devastating to see casualties of war anywhere, presently increasing in Gaza, it’s seems easier to blame the retaliating party, in this case Israel, than to remember that there is still hostages held in Gaza. If this is the reason, why doesn’t the people there themselves demand Hamas to release them? Then there would be no reason for Israel to continue their attacks, would there?

Another example I learned while I was a detained immigrant in Honolulu 2011-12, is that people tend to commit crimes for any of two solid reasons:

1. Because they’re bored
2. Because they’ve been victims themselves (Only hurt people hurt others.)

What is then the antidote but to tend to these needs and solve any underlying issues, such as conflicts, lack of income, and providing a meaningful job, sports and/or a creative outlet. When you start applying this perspective of needs on everything in society, you’ll soon see what I mean, whether it’s hunger and lack of sleep, or not feeling seen, heard and respected, behind someone else’s and your own communication and actions. Advertising builds on this notion obviously, but it doesn’t make people’s needs less real.

What do you need and how can you meet it? Which behavior needs to change?