If you’ve ever felt tired and depressed and think joy is out of reach, you’re not completely wrong. When I learned about the Emotional scale, as described by Esther and Abraham Hicks through their book “Ask and it is given” in 2005, so much fell into place for me. Through the self-help movement, and not to mention all the beautiful images and serene quotes flooding online, it’s easy to feel pressured to only feel elevated and high emotions. This is however not possible. And, without feeling anger and frustration, we don’t build up the necessary energy to use for change. We all want to feel good, free and happy, but why aren’t we?

The key to experiencing true joy and happiness, lies in taking it step by step. According to the Emotional scale, all emotions can only be improved incrementally. Our job, therefore, isn’t to force a smile and assume that we are a failure, if we don’t feel bliss. It’s rather our job, to find the next better emotion, than the one we currently feel. Here is the scale:

1. Joy, Freedom, Love, Appreciation, Strength
2. Passion
3. Enthusiasm / Happiness
4. Positive expectations / Faith
5. Optimism
6. Hope
7. Contentment
8. Boredom
9. Pessimism
10. Frustration / Irritation / Lack of patience
11. Overwhelming
12. Disappointment
13. Doubt
14. Worry
15. Blame others
16. Mistrust
17. Anger
18. Vengeful
19. Hatred / Rage
20. Jealousy
21. Insecurity / Guilt / Unworthiness
22. Fear / Grief / Depression / Hopelessness

So, by practicing gratitude, we can feel a sense of contentment. When we’ve found this, it becomes easier to also find happiness.

Where are you on this scale? Once you’ve identified which step you’re on, look one or two higher, and see what can you do to feel that instead.