Our behaviour in groups, follow the same pattern, regardless of why the group was formed. For example, there is usually an informal leader, besides the one that has been given the authority to. This is often the most popular person, the person with the longest track record, someone others look up to, or are afraid of. Finding out who this person is, is a little like finding the leader in a horse flock and let him lead the others into the stables from the pasture. So, to get the group to move in your desired direction, you must therefor also ensure that the informal leader is with you.

Within our groups, it’s common that we put aside some of our own preferences or even deal-breakers, to ensure that we still are accepted and allowed to belong. When the group develops its own preferences and values, we talk about it becoming a culture (or subculture) with norms. Norms include anything from what we wear, what we listen to, like and follow, to what we eat and buy, and how we speak. Norms also often dictate how we ought to behave. And some people wants to be in the positions they’re in, even if that means becoming treated in a lesser way. To be aware of all this, helps us remain true to ourselves.

The size of the group also matters. Already in a group of three, there is a structure likened to the one of a family, which directly changes when the group consists of four people. With five to seven, the tone becomes more humble and we listen more, with less powerplays, but when the group has more than 10 members, there is a chance that the group becomes divided. All these dynamics, are part of organizational psychology and something I, as a sacred circle conversation coach, bear in mind for our planned sessions at Telluselle Living Center.

Last but not least, sometimes we’re forced into groups, such as in our workplaces or in our classrooms, and sometimes we form them online based on interest. At best, we get to choose who we want to see part of our team and then we’ll have a stronger foundation to create synergy.

We grow the best, when we have enough space to feel free, but still feel supported by the same.