One of the most common expressions, when it comes to lifecoaching, is the prompt to get out of your comfort zone. But what do we really mean by that, and why do we have one?

We tend to feel safer with everything familiar. It can be a simple thing like knowing your way around your neighbourhood, making it possible for you to relax, when you’re out walking. Moving elsewhere, creates stress in the beginning, until you become familiar again with your new surroundings. It’s the same for breaking free from our comfort zone. We need to dare to move into a new area, also in our lives. This can for example mean to change your job, or break up with your spouse. Alas, this is also true for our relationships.

We often find ourselves in a role within our relationships, that makes us behave a certain way. It can be something positive like taking the initiative and lead. Or it can be something negative, like always complaining about the same thing. However, to keep a sense of safety, both you and those you surround yourself with, like to keep it the same, even if you want to try another way. Staying the same, makes us feel more comfortable. At least, that is what we think. Unfortunately, this is also true for people with addictions or a history of abuse. How often have you not wondered why a child to an alcoholic, ends up marrying someone who also is? This is why. The familiarity, lures us to believe we’re safe.

To understand this, is a necessity to understand how to change. When we change our behaviour, we’re either provoking others to change theirs too, or stirring up conflicts in an effort to make resistance to our desired change. Therefore, it’s very beneficial to surround yourself with people who are like you want to be, who might already have achieved a similar goal to yours, or simply have found their own sense of identity, resembling what you’re growing into.

Ready to expand beyond your comfort zone? A series of sessions with a lifecoach, can help you explore, and design, a plan for you to do that.