The way we look at others, often defines how we treat them. This in turn can easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy, where we seek to validate our own bias, prejudice and simply view. This has been proven through a series of studies made by McGregor, who found that when leaders believed more in their employees’ abilities, they seemed to perform better and showed more autonomy and creativity. Likewise, when managers didn’t, those employees tended to make more mistakes and perform less well. McGregor referred to this, as Theory X vs Theory Y. Since we’re all interdependent, we need to have this in mind, so we all can help each other to blossom, starting with your own view of yourself. You can be a resource!

Being a resource is, being willing to contribute with your time, skills, knowledge, creativity, problem solving, money, experiences, people skills, personality traits, voice and will. Knowing that you have this within you, is the first step. And your combination is most certainly unique. Acknowledge this!

Then, you can make an inventory, either by assessing this on your own, or together with a lifecoach. Write down what you like doing and what you’re good at. This can be things like working independently and doing oral presentations, or it can be taking care of customers and cleaning. You can find this, by exemplifying what you have done and learned throughout your work experiences, as well as during internships, volunteering and your education. Perhaps, you have a favourite pastime that includes leadership skills or artistry. These are valuable assets you own, that you need to cultivate and use.

After having this in front of you, you can ask what you can do with it. Where could these resources be used and for whom? Who would benefit learning from you? Or using you, to produce or serve others? Make a list of prospective employers and contact them! You can also try to find a mentor, who already works with something you’d like to, and learn about his or her way to get there.

Last but not least. Whenever you encounter someone you don’t particularly like, or get into an argument with – try to find something positive about him or her. What can he or she contribute with? What can you learn from him or her? And how can he or she help you?

You can read more about Theory X and Theory Y here.