I started noticing an unfamiliar feeling in late 2015, but nothing in 2016 or 2017, but again while I was in Frankfurt, Germany in 2018, and here in Portugal 2019 and 2020. It’s like a sudden onset of krankiness and whining that I don’t recognize in myself at all. Like a small child not wanting to, stalling what I’m about to, including simple and good things like taking a shower to get ready, or start the replay of a dance practice. Why would I not want that?
Well, I might have to rest and sleep more first, or eat, but then again, I do try. However, not in my own apartment that I haven’t had since 2017. How could then my inner child ever feel safe? Unless it is rather that I had to leave Sweden again, to recognize it.
My inner child therefore might seek shelter with a man that I find attractive, to not have to be abducted by an offender, in spirit or in person, who wants to extinguish my light.
So what do I do now then?